Judge — September 11, 1897 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

170 age FROM JUDGE'S DICTIONARY. BILITY — A peculiar formation of the mind which prompts one to do the right thing in the right way, at the right time. Abstraction — A metaphysical quality much affected by pickpockets. Eccentricity—Peculiarities of manner practiced by those who think they have done something which entitles them to the privilege of making asses of themselves, Authors, actors and poets who have had their first taste of fame are commonly given to this vice, It is short-lived, however, in all persons not mentally unsound. For, if success be only tem- porary, they are soon too busy wrestling with the realities of life to waste much time on its whimsies. Should their elevation prove permanent, common sense will assert itself after the novelty of fame has worn off and the subject is enabled to quit the com- A TABLE “* There goes a school of fish !* are just superficial enough to be sensible. MISGIVINGS. AIEEE know he is good and brave and wise And his family name is founded fair, While the girls in my set have jealous eyes Alike for his figure and tawny hair, Yes, yes! He’s wearied of hachelorhood, Of “little club dinners” and practical jokes, And yet I don’t think of him quite as 1 could, For you ought to see the cigars he smokes ! His income of twenty-five thou a year, ~ With womanly likings for gems and frocks, Ought not to awaken much pensive fear, Or worry a girl who is minus ** rocks.” Indeed, as my fancies moodily swarm Love, laughter of life appears asa hoax Vet really and truly he's not so warm, For you ought to see the cigars he smokes ! When pa was “long” in the Atchison smash, I figured that income (divided by two). Just think of the limitless form and dash— The pleasure of doing as one would do! So, if we are married I'll not forget To flatter his moods with the fondest strokes ; And if he will wink at my cigarette T'll wink at the kind of cigars he smokes! Bron pany of authors, geniuses and paranoiacs, and associate with people who EDWARD CLAYTON SAVAGE. se PpAvViE MEAN THING. Miss Cuattrr—" I knew you would be here to-day to see sister.” Mr. Cunoter (interrog.)—"* Intuition 2” Miss Cuartxr—"* No— observation, Vou always appear on the same day that Ethel refuses onions at dinner. ANOTHER GOOD STORY LOsT. ONE FORM, what's a friend >" “ Why, a friend 's some- one yuh tell things about yourself to so’s they can tell I! about yuh to someone else.” | VAIN REGRETS Ll} iN Mr, Cawker— You and i I were born too soon, old man.” Mr. Cumso—"What makes you say that ?” Mr. Cawker—" What a pudding a horseless carriage would have been when we went courting!” THE WAY OF IT. Blowit — | fashion- able Americans go to Europe ‘once a year.” Knowit—"VYou are wrong, They come back to America once a year to get money to foot their bills with“ Miss O'Toorn— “My, how hungry they are! They eat ravenously every crumb thrown, 0 Pete —"'T seen Hurricane Bill draw a gun once right in de midst uv a room full uv people, and "—— CHOLLY TeNDERFOOT (interrupting)}—" Heavens ! and commence to shoot ?* Uxoxco Pere —* Naw—and go home wid it, It wuz at a church fair and he drew it in a grab-bag.” ill ' Bx, | | * Wor Oi iver kissed befoor 7” mon O'Flaherty, do Oi look loike thot koind ov ur girrul ?* mi | an} Hi Polace- comicbooks.com quirer Sist your n tle bro y fu Bost “Or couldn “Wha her ty; postagi Record 2 wl Our elpal « ine w Pr but is 11