Judge — August 21, 1897 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITRD STATES AND CANADA IM ADVANCE. One copy, one year. or s2 numbers - $5.00 ‘One copy, six months. or 26 numbers - 2.50 ‘One copy, for thirteen weeks - = 1.35 Incliding the Cunisrmas Juoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS —Te alt 4 Sorcign countries im the postal union, $0.00 a ‘a year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JupcE BuILpINa). Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. (© Circnlation larger than any other cartoon weekly in the world. 87 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juocs are protected by copy- nght in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be Promptly and vigorously prosecuted, WHEN A DUKE marries an American girl it may be truthfully sup- posed that he is a sensible man but is afraid of his creditors. cee PAPER tells “how to tell a mad dog.” The only safe way that we know of is to go away from him and suppress the information. eee IF SENATOR HILL really wants to get into the house of representatives he ought to be wise enough to go west and grow up with the country. [8 CONSIDERING Alaskan opportus nities remember that the most impor- tant of all is the one that has to do with the great act of getting home. eee WHITELAW REID is not a vain man; but we must insist, the prince of Wales having dined with him, that he shall be naturalized before he is permitted to vote. eee ANADA and Mexico are to unite for the purpose of whipping the United States, too? Ah, well, other lands have as much right to their jingoes as have we to ours. cee . ‘Don't SCRATCH a mosquito- bite,” says somebody, “and it won't hurt you.” To be sure! Abolish the effect of any particular cause and there you are. eee QDE READS with apprehension that a Maryland woman has gone to jail for thirty days for assaulting her husband, Shall we presently revive the whipping- post for husband-beaters ? oes [7 HAVING been decided by the Even- ing Post that pageants are vulgar, will our lieutenant-governor kindly remove himself and his gaudy use of the English language from the public gaze? Bett-noy—"' Come, mister get ready for your train. rooster crow, b’gosh !” eee [N SAYING that the sixteen-to-one business cannot be revived Horace Boies of lowa has evidently begun the creating of a’platform which will be precisely his size and will have a hole in it for the sudden disap- pearance of Mr. Bryan. eee YOUNG WOMAN of Burlington, Illinois, polishes shoes by way of advertising the virtues of a new polish; and the police department of Kansas City have set women prisoners to wearing trousers and breaking stone, If this is progress, it is a solemn fact that retrogression is a good thing. THE GOVERNOR of Virginia recently attended a vaudeville perform- ance. “Shades of departed glory!" exclaims the Reverend Thomas N. Potts of Richmond, “when a governor of this grand old common- wealth prostitutes virtue like that it is time to call a halt.” If the poor man hasn't already gone to Potts let him consult that eminent authority at once, HOW HE MISSED THE TRAIN. Uncte Jos (visiting New York)}—" Don't T’ve lost my watch thet yew kin make me think it's three o'clock. I'm goin’ tew make sure by stayin’ rite at this winder till I hear a A NEW COMBINATION. ‘ALK OF A UNION of Japan, England and Spain to fight the United States, with Hawaii as a starting-point of complaint, creates surprise and something of a laugh. It does seem absurd; but let us remember in behalf of dignity that the proper time to laugh is at the end of any given disturbance. A LIE LESS. MORMONISM exists in Utah as a state quite as much as when the region was a territory. There is one difference, however. The law- breakers do not openly proclaim it as a triumph of virtue and a legitimate religion. There is an enormous lie less in the collection of whoppers for that reason, THE JOY OF FAILURE. NE MAN ina hundred may get rich from the gold along the Klon- dike, and every man who goes there thinks he is the one. The ninety-nine will be impoverished, if not starved or frozen; but they will get experience that will be of value to such of them as manage to return to their old homes. And it is a question whether the latter will not be happier than any of the others. OHIO IN THE SENATE. VEN THE SILVER MEN of Ohio are opposed to John R. McLean and his ambition to go to the senate. They seem to think that a senator ought to be somewhat acquainted with the state he proposes to represent, notwithstanding the success of ex-Senator Brice. But there is slight room for con- troversy on that side of the Ohio estab- lishment, because Mr. Hanna will un- doubtedly keep on staying in the chair he at present occupies. MEN WHO HATE PROS- PERITY. ROPS ARE HEAVY in various parts of the west, and the farmers offer two dollars a day to the ever-numerous tramps to help them in their harvests, with no takers. Possibly these lazy wretches are guilty of much of the talk about hard times, and it may be that they want the crops to rot in order to prove their decla- rations. Anyhow there are political talk- ers who are as mean as they are, if they do not happen to be quite as ragged and lazy. A NEW KIND OF ANGEL? THE DECLARATION by a clergyman that there are no female angels is the worst blow that heaven has yet received, and will turn too many feet to the road which goes in a totally opposite direction. Really, most men would care to be pro- tected by no power whatever rather than be subjected to the control or help of an angel of that kind. Give us the old-fash- ioned angel, with or without wings, or let us go to thunder without assistance and in our own way. NO HONORS FOR SNEAKS. ‘THE POLICEMAN who tempts women and acts the part of a sneak is not a clean or an honest man. He is not fit to have authority over any citizen, It is doubly an insult to morality and intelligence for him to indulge in viciousness with women and make the tax-payers pay for it. Commissioner Grant of this town is right. Policemen must have some appreciation of honor and enough self-respect to prevent their adoption of the ways of scoundrels for any purpose whatever. it’s three o'clock a, m.—time to ew b'leeve 'cos THE LAW TO BLAME FOR IT. DR: RYDER, the white man lynched in Georgia a few days ago, deserved his fate. He murdered a white girl because she refused to accept his affections. Within a year he was sentenced to be hanged; but the verdict found against him was set aside on a technicality. He was arraigned for a second trial, but the judge postponed the trial for several weeks, Then the mob ended the business by hanging him, and his coun- sel suffers the loss of much money and a like amount of notoriety. We may at least commend the mob for its impartiality with regard to the color-line. comicbooks.com