Judge — August 14, 1897 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

. J Pe JUDGE'S FAVOKITES. ? Who is La Favorita? That's the question. ‘The glimpse of graceful contours that she shows Just tantalizes with a half-suggestion ‘Of every pretty actress that one knows. So, baffling fair one, shall your portrait be To each admirer his one matchless She. UTILIZING THE WASTE, DORKISS is an ingenious fellow. He is troubled a good deal with asthma, and he has rigged up a frame for holding a number ot air-toys a short distance from his face, so that when he coughs and wheezes great delight is imparted to his entire family. BEEN THERE BEFORE. Barber (insinuatingly)—" Your bair wants cutting the worst way, sir.” Sourby (in the chair)—" That's the way you cut it the last time.” HOW THEY DID IT. ++ PAPA," said Jamie, rides horseback like a clothespin, an’ mamma she rides like a picture on the wall.” 5 AY NN DRY BONE SKeECuT VX 2 A NEVER-FAILING CROP. mn it, sir, you wrote me this was an agricultural community !" EASTERN CAPITALIST (Aotly)—"* Whi Six-sHooTer SaM (shifting Ais gun)—"* So it be.” EASTERN CAPITALIST—** What do you raise ?” SIX-sHooTeR SamM—** Hell !" USING A WORD. +*MY CHILD, what face so dirty ?” kins an’ had a fight, a dirt in my face than I could digest, mamma.” THE RULER OF #6] THOUGHT you «K& said Smithson ms wanted to be elected MUTUAL CONFIDENCE, exalted ruler?” wife told him he must give up going to the lodge.” Suage made your “That Billy Blud- in’ he throwed more RULERS. * Oi guarantee th’ harse to be a good thraveler.” : , ‘An’ Oi guarantee th’ mule to be as gintle as a lamb, Is “So he did, but his Shore, Oi want to presint th’ mule to a nager that’s an inimy av moine.” Dotan—‘' An’ Oi want to pit th’ harse on rockers, Shure, it's a foine hobby-harse he'll make fer th’ childer.” i (Cee RURAL DEDUCTION. Uncte Jost—" There's one thing sartin, "Mandy ; our base-ball-playin’ son thet jined th’ N° Yorks hain't lost his Podunk appertite !* Haows thet 2" Uxcte Josu—"* Waal, th’ paper sez heer thet he wuz cut short at th’ home plate. Reckon th’ cub was eatin’ too much agin, b’gosh !" WHY. [TWAS little Georgie Gumpp who wondered, when mem- ory failed him during the history recitation, why “ if history repeats. itself—why—why don’t it?” HAY IN THE SUNSHINE. JOHN HAY at the court of England, Since the queen has so friendly grown, May soon, like the angels he wrote of, Be “loafing around the throne.” GRORGE x. DEVYR. A COMMON PARADOX. Little: Elmer —"Pa, my teacher told me to write an ex- ample of a paradox, and I can't think of one. Will you help me ?” Professor Broadhead — “You might say that, although Mr. Tubman, who is trying to reduce his flesh by bicycling, is continually falling off, he does not seem to be growing any thinner,” comicbooks.com