Judge — August 14, 1897 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE A WERK, TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year. or s2 numbers - $5.0 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 2.5¢ One copy, for thirteen weeks = = 1.25 Including the Cuxisrmas Juoce. FORKIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS —To all Sorcign countries im the postal union, $0.00 ‘a year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupce BuILpING), Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. (Circulation larger than any other cartoon weekly im the world. (97 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copy: ght in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted, W'!tH A REFORMED TARIFF the currency reforms itself. ECIL RHODES is censured, not because of the raid, but because he got whipped. LONG ARTICLES telling what to do in hot weather have brought nervous prostration and death to. many writers. [F MR. WANAMAKER will arise by the dawn’s early light he will find that the flag of Matthew Stanley Quay is still there. <=. [T MUST be consoling to persons who die because they think they have hydrophobia to learn from sev- eral authorities that there is no such disease. THE DEATH by suicide of Bar- ney Barnato and Mr. Creede has brought much thought to the Astors, the Vanderbilts, and a few others of us. ce ROBBERS are holding up trolley- cars in Chicago; and we are willing to bet, such is the perversity of those man-killers, that not a trol- ley-robber will be killed in a thou- sand years. I" IS IMPOSSIBLE to frame a tariff that is fair to every indi- vidual, but any tariff that settles the tariff is a good tariff; and there ought to be no disturbance of it for A 4 FAIR picy lorty years. é has stolen my Orricern— ZREAFTER,” said the kai- ser irascibly when a flying rope blackened his eye, “this eye- detachable tires, movable spol T come to think of it, my baby blacking business will be confined to the common sailors, I have troubles enough of my own.” A MR. READE, who married Josie Mansfield, was divorced from that lady after a married life of a few months, and feels better. Nothing troubles him but insanity now. T 1S SHOCKING, as the Bayards, the Reids and the Hays frequently intimate, to contemplate the shedding of the blood of our English cousins; but if that hadn't been done where should we be now? L®t US NOT be too happy over the gold discoveries in Alaska. Per- haps John Bull will claim the gold territory; and again let us recall the vast number of grass-widows resulting from the California discoveries of “forty-nine, A LONDON PAPER has to pay a hundred and twenty-five dollars for libel to a music-hall singer for saying one of the singer's songs is vulgar. Well now, if the woman's songs are not vulgar how did she make all that money? SOME MINISTERS of Milwaukee are said to have refused to perform the marriage ceremony for girls who wear bloomers. Perhaps, hav- ing gone that far, they will tell the girls just what they may be permitted to wear on those oceasions. A HAPPY THOUGHT, v (iysterically) —"* Oh, Mr. Officer, Mr. Officer! somebody le,” hwat koind ay a lookin’ boicycle wuz ut?" Fax picycuisr—" Why, it was a high-geared, hollow-axle, self-oiling, 1uds, double ball-bearings, and—oh, yes! now s attached to the handle-bars.” A FINE EXAMPLE. REMIEK LAURIER of Canada in a speech at a London banquet said he disliked the word colony, as it seemed to indicate a sort of superiority on the part of the home country. The gentleman is right; and we beg to call his attention to the remedy adopted by these colonies some- thing more than a hundred years ago. TOO, TOO NUMEROUS, ROBERT P. PORTER having said that in the year two thousand the population of this country will be about three hundred and eighty-six millions, we had better begin annexing other countries pretty quick in order to accommodate it. But Mr. Porter's figures seem extravagant. inadvertently figuring up Republican majorities? Isn't he THE WHITNEY DINNER. R. WHITNEY is the more interested in the money question because he and the men who recently dined with him propose to own all the railroads of greater New York. With cheap money in vogue there wouldn't be bank-room sufficiently capacious to hold their profits, The dinner was had in behalf of gold and the biggest trust in the biggest town, DEATH AS A REMEDY. TH E SUICIDE of Mr. Creede, Colorado millionaire, occurred because of the determination of his wife to live with him, though he had given her twenty thousand dollars to go away and let him alone. He was driven to despair, as have been so many other men, by the hopeless indifference of woman to the sacredness of a fair business contract. And yet they say that that sex ought to vote. . SMALL CRIME AND LARGE. ley A MURDERESS in the Tombs of this city Wt A has set herself,to work to reform the in- YY mates of that establishment. She is shocked that the women prisoners smoke cigarettes and are careless as to their toilets; and she was very indignant when three young men threw as many quarters into her cell for the privilege of look- ing at her. Hers is a queer com- bination of delicacy and brutality. Let us hope that she will not go to the chair until she has turned her temporary abiding- place into a model institution. WHITE SLAVES. MINERS are obliged to patronize the stores of the companies they work for. The stores have no opposition, and therefore they make prices to suit themselves. They make wages in the same way; and it is said that at the end of the month miners find that they have made fifteen dollars and that they owe the store about twice that sum. Is it surprising that there are Can men reduced to that kind of slavery bring up their boys so that they may be intelligent enough to make good voters and good citizens? ae Mn strikes? A VICTORY FOR JUSTICE. GOVERNOR BRADLEY in pardoning a black man who shot one of a mob that intended to lynch him, and who thus saved his home, and his wife and children from violence, did no more than fair justice; but the act was courageous nevertheless in view of the fact that the passions of white men were red-hot against the man and against the sympathy of those who believe in justice and fair play. But is it not curious that Ken- tuckians, who claim to be chivalrous and who are sensitive as to their personal honor, should be so brutal? CANNIBALISM MERELY A PRINCIPLE. A ME. BURNS, who has lived in Hawaii eighteen years, tells the Troy Press be would rather live there than anywhere else in the world. “ Natives,” says Mr. Burns, “never wantonly kill a man for the purpose of eating him, and have no natural craving for human flesh. But when they kill an enemy, somebody whom they believe has wronged them, they eat his body to show their superiority, precisely as an Indian takes a scalp. And in almost every case the victim is to blame.” That puts a different face on what was supposed to be a very objectionable matter. These gentle people are not cannibals as a matter of appetite, but as a matter of principle and truly proper retaliation. comicbooks.com