Judge — July 31, 1897 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

4h Guage —~1_. 2 YARTis. I's Charcoal Pete, Cake - walk champeen, Thompson <a ) street. : When I walks I sets dem crazy ; I's de “real t'ing,” a warm baby ; New peail derby, new plaid suit, Segar-holdah an’ cheroot, Big dude collah an’ white tie— Tell yo", whaite folks, I's no sigh. Yaller ladies in mah wake, Big buck coons wid envy quake, Dat's dere limit, dey's afraid Ob the keen-ness ob mah blade. Dere’s no use talkin’, I's a peach Dat dey kain’t pick ; I's out ob a teach, Yaller ladies ! lose yo" frown ; Charcoal Pete's dun kim toe town. HIS WAY OF LOOKING AT IT ++ FJOW do you feel, deacon?” sympathetically inquired the bereaved man's friend “Well—er—h'm "— replied Deacon Flint, who, notwithstanding the fact that he had just buried his fifth wife, was still of a waggish disposi- tion, “I may say that I feel as if I was kinder long on funerals and short on wives just at present.” ASSUMED A DISGUISE. You didn’t catch the thief ?” No; he changed his name ten miles back and UITE FLY, * Perhaps you would prefer me to scramble your eggs, Mr. Newly ?” said the landlady sweetly. “No, thank you,” returned the new boarder brutally; “they are quite old enough to scramble themselves.”” FAS hey 4 <3 TO THE QUEEN. HE royal ambassador from the pol- ished court of Politenesia had pre- sented his credentials and was appear- ing before her majesty, the queen of Culturania. There were long lines of courtiers leading up to the gorgeous and glit- tering throne, which gleamed and daz- zled and flashed in the sunlight, filling every interstice in wall and pillar and archway of the grand open hall of audience. Upon this throne of gorgeousness sat the queen, an iridescent dream of dazzle in rubies and sapphires and emeralds and diamonds. As the ambassador approached amid a burst of golden-trumpet blasts the queen extended her jeweled sceptre. The ambassador stopped at the foot of the throne. N + N y * A 523 “tL bow to the ground, your majesty,” he said, bending until his head touched the earth, ‘The queen laugh- eda low, rippling laugh. “ What's the mat- ter with bowing to me?” she said, as if the ambassador didn't know what he was talk- ing about. Then for the first time the ‘ambassador felt that he was not larger than a piece of soap after a day's washing. How different it had been before the queen spoke. Ww, J. LAMPTON, ADDITIONAL IRONY. Mr, Pesterd—" To think that, my profession being that of a floor-walker all day, a benign Providence should will a continuance all night.” you know. He called me an April fool once.” Banpiinc Beooxs—'* I should tink yer'd be ashamed uv yerself, goin’ round like dat—without no hat, er coat, er vest, er shoes, er socks.” Frowexy Figtps—* Oh, I only do it fer ter get sympathy. playin’ de races, and ‘a feller-feelin’ makes men wondrous kind,’ yer know. THE RULING PASSION. Reecca—"* Vadder, Chacob has bledged me his love.” RutinstEin (absent-mindedly)—"*At vat per cend., Repecca?” NO REASON FOR SPECIFICATION. Cholly—" Er—er—I think your small brothah a twifle impudent, Maud—* Why April, | wonder?” A CLEVER RUSE. Folks tink I've bin AFTER THE ANNEXATION OF HAWAII. 6] T IS a disgrace to the party.” said the goo-goo. “The idea of such a man for vice-president! Why, he is a moral leper!” “That's just it exactly,” replied the practical politician. “Haven't we got to do something to attract the leper vote ? Have you forgotten the last returns from Molokai?” FEELING ALL RUN DOWN. . \ comicbooks.com ;