Judge — July 24, 1897 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

; Zs t, 2S a art a0 bl Se 9 TF Me EGE WT a ay SOCIETY NOTE. ‘J. Suffrin Sinkers is spending the summer at his country seat.” WHERE HE DIFFERS. ALTHOUGH cach man is made of dust ’Tis not the yellow metal,” And when he has a bill to pay He sometimes doesn't settle. MEN ARE SO STUPID. SOVUVHY, my dear, what WwW are you crying in this. way for?” asked Miss Fosdick as she entered Miss Gaskett’s room and found her friend bathed in tears. “ Fred—I mean Mr. Gil- gal—has gone, and I'm afraid that he will never come back.” “Well, I should think you would not expect him. I saw him last night, and when I asked if he was to be congratulated he said you had rejected him, and that you were so very emphatic about it as to leave him no hope.” “Oh, dear!" sobbed Miss Gaskett, ‘‘ men are so very stupid.” “But didn’t you reject him?” “ Well, when he proposed I didn’t want to be won too easily, and so"— “And so you refused him, expecting that he would renew his appeals. Well, I think it serves you right. If you cared for him at all you ought to have accepted him when he offered himself.” “You didn’t hear me out. rules of grammar.” * What has his gram- mar to do with love and marriage, I'd like to know 2” “TL thought that sure- ja ly ke would understand that two negatives. make an affirmative, and so I replied, ‘No, no’; but he seemed to think that was a very decided refusal,and now I don’t know how I ever shall be able to tell him differently.” HIS METHOD. First sportsman— “Why do you say you killed that buck? Your shot only frightened it off.” Second sportsman— “Yes; but it was the deer departed, wasn’t it?” TINGS are not phwat they saim. Niver SECOND MosquITo—" That's old. First Mosquito—" Dead easy. cross oyes, me b’y. I supposed that he was acquainted with one of the simplest fae} Mil i } emo eNON Na AY AND THEY PUNCTURED HIM. sherap oid a “lely..wid Fuasy MosquiTo—"* Why is that man like a bicycle? ‘ause he’ tired, of course. But why is he like the tire?” It's because he’s liable to be punctured.” ANGE A RELIEF. * Do you know where you will go when you die?” “don’t know as I care much. I'm living in Jersey City.” REFORM WITH A METHOD IN IT, The salvationist—"1 heard you, my good man; I heard what you said—‘Not another drink.’ Permit me to""— The convert—" Yes, mister; I know what I'm about, I do, Those fellows can’t fool me. Can't I count? Don’t I know when I've got enough? Wouldn't it be my turn to buy the next time but one?” HER REASON. Mamie—" Those hor- rid men stood and looked at me every minute I was crossing the street.” Amy—"Why didn’t you cross a block above ?"” Mamie—"There were no men there.”” GRAFT. Goldstein —"'\_ hear dot young dude choost died.” Cohen—“ Dot vas too pad. He vas a goot gus- tomer. Vhenever he valk- ed he knocked his ankles togedder und vore oudt a bair ohf pants in six veeks.”” SCORCHER—A TALE OF A TANGLED TIGER. comicbooks.com