Judge — July 17, 1897 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wudge. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. ‘One copy, one year. or s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy, for thirteen weeks - = 1.35 Including the Cunistmas Juoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS —Te all Sorvign countries im the postal union, $6.00 ‘a year. THe JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupcr BUILDING), Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. ©W- Circulation larger than any other cartoon weekly im the world. (97 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juvcs are protected by copy- right in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. AXY TARIFF is better than no tariff or an impending tariff. eee THE ANNEXATION of the United States means a greater Hawaii. eee ‘THE QUESTION as to where to go for a vacation is never quite settled until the victim of it has returned. eee PRIZE-FIGHTER who recently married probably knows by this time what a prize-fight by conversation really is. eee USUALLY, when Frenchmen fight duels, they begin by telling their wives to post- pone their dinners about two hours. soe T MAY be hoped that Mr. Cleveland will doctor the laws with at least the ability with which he formerly executed them. eee 'T IS the firm belief of President Faure * that the counterfeit bomb is no joke. One might as well die as be scared to death. see 'HE SUICIDE of Barney Barnato is a warning. It is not safe to acquire a fortune of more than about ten millions, and no wise man will do it. a | EFFERSON STILL LIVES,” says Mr. Bryan. It may be; but when he contemplates the remains of his old party he must be very sorry for it. eee R. GODKIN has fairly earned the degree conferred upon him by Oxford; but it ought to be insisted that he wear side-whiskers and drop his h's. UNCLE Isaac (admiringl)—" Nepnew Jacon— Vhy?" vee SENATOR HILL'S OPTIMISM after a glance at the Democratic sit uation is to be explained after the manner of the impossible story by the small boy—the boy lied. [F.MR. WOODFORD might make a set speech to the Spanish govern- ment his eloquence would bring down the establishment and Cuba might have her freedom in short order, cee UEEN LIL wanted to cut off the heads of President Dole and his cabinet, and now the treaty-making powers have cut off her appro- priation. Poor rule that doesn’t work both ways. eee PAIN PROPOSES that Cuba pay her twenty million dollars in taxes, for the purpose of working further death and destruction in the island. It is a case of your money and also your life. A DIAMOND worth a million and a half dollars has been stolen from a somewhere in this town, and how it got to India is a vexing mystery. local dignitary in India, We remember to have lost the gem in 1852, eee PRISONER BALL of the Washington jail was not permitted to eat pie sent him by bis friends, at the same time that Chapman was allowed frogs’ legs and Roman punch, It is possible that Ball wanted his pie for breakfast, and of course the Washington Delmonico couldn't permit that. THE POINT OF MERIT. bank in der vorld to put your money in, Shakey.” Unctx IsAac—"* Pecause you gan rob it yourselluf.”” THE NEXT WAR. THE AVARICE of John Bull will presently bring about a war in South Africa. The little matter of justice to Christians doesn’t touch the old man half as much as the great matter of money-making. Or the kaiser either, as will be known with the firing of the first gun in the Trans- vaal. ‘ THE WRONG TUNE. ‘THE SPECTACLE of the queen weeping over “The wearing of the green” is pathetic enough; but we dare say that her majesty, being blind, couldn't see that it wasn’t the right kind of tune to coincide with her particular moisture. One would as soon expect the sultan to weep over the woes of the Armenians. ABSURD YOUNG WOMEN. I IS DECLARED that women are learning to cheer. It is a natural result of the women’s colleges, which cannot get along without a par ticular kind of hurrah. It is more of a change than an improvement. A good case of hysterics, with copious tears, is better than a poor, weak uplifting of voices that were never meant to do such service. A WOMAN'S RIGHT. HE GIRL in West Virginia who killed her lover in a quarrel probably wanted to vindicate a right of her sex. All the killing has been on the other side so far; and again it is a poor rule that doesn’t work both ways. We beg to congratulate the girl; and the men of the locality ought to begin at once the work of sending her the sympathetic bouquet, along with numerous offers of marriage. WHO CAN TELL? THE SILVER MEN of the Demo- cratic party have a large majority over the sound-money men; they can howl more, they are more determined and active, and they are going to carry the next national convention, The pop- ulists and they will travel together, and there will be no material change over the situation last year. Is it equally certain that the gold Democrats will oppose them, putting up a ticket or supporting the Republican candidate? That is a very serious question. MR. CLEMENS. TH E FUND in behalf of Mark Twain is a new kind of joke, but we don't believe Mr. Clemens is re- sponsible for it. He has just con- cluded a lecture tour which netted him tens of thousands of dollars; he has written a new book which will net him tens of thousands more; and an edi- tion of his collected works is now going through the press. Besides, he married into a very wealthy family, so that his wife is beyond the possibility of want. Probably the man is, or will be, worth half a million dollars over all liabilities—and he deserves every dollar of it. HIS MOUTH HIS ENEMY. THERE WAS a general disposition to encourage Mr. Debs in his peace- ful revolution. Hundreds of thousands of men were out of work, and the experiment could not have made them more helpless, while there was a faint chance of its success. But Mr. Debs must needs talk, and at the critical moment he must needs say the inevitable too much. He gives out dark hints as to what may occur if the government interferes with him, when in fact the government has had no such intention and would be very glad indeed to see his peaceful revolution succeed. ch! dot's der bestest kindt ohf a WEALTH AGAINST REPORTERS. CURSING THE NEWSPAPERS is a confirmed habit of some pretty good rich men; and doubtless this habit led the manager of George Vanderbilt's Biltmore to refuse to entertain the reporters accompanying the president's party. But it is unfair, and would be malicious if it were not thoughtless. It would be as reasonable to curse the church or the law. For of course there are good newspapers, and again the average reporter is a gentleman. With the president this is a first thought; and if the cursers were in the habit of thinking it would come home to them a good second. comicbooks.com