Judge — July 10, 1897 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE'S FAVOKITEs. Nore BOOTH. ‘They say that “* Where there's life there's hope,”” And Tam not a misanthrope " jeclaration. roclaim this truth, where ther pe — meaning Hope Booth— ‘There's life and animation. EVENING CONVERSATION. Mrs. Hohmboddie —" Jon, | have been in a perfect brown study for three days, and I have come to the conclusion that women ought to vote.” Mr, Hohmboddie —“ Well! that's a new departure for you.” Mrs, Hohmboddie—* Truly itis, and it all came about through this inaugura- tion business.” Mr. Hohmboddie—* \nauguration busin . Mrs. Hohmboddie —* Oh, | see, as never before. how much the na- tion needs the far-seeing, unprejudiced, intuitive hand of woman at the helm. To think the people were wicked enough to elect that frightful creat- ure!" Mr. Hohmboddie (in astonishment) —“ Fright- ful creature? My dear, his worst enemies never called him such a name as that.” Mrs. Hohmboddie— “1 know they didn’t, and more shame to them -for it, I can’t think of that bites, man without feeling my blood boil with We have had all kinds of automatic carriages, cabs, cars, etc , but Jupce’s patent automatic baby-carriage eclipses all other efforts in this line, and will be the reigning fad and correct thing for young wives in ‘ninety-seven. First thirty minutes— Profound attention—no Sage indignation.” Mr. Hohmboddie —" You've been reading something about him, I suppose ?” Mrs. Hohmboddie (loftily) — “I have read nothing about him. I can form my opinions without reading, I hope.” Mr, Hokmboddie — “Well, what has he done ?” Mrs. Hohmboddie — “What has he done? What Aasn't he done? You know just as well as Ido.” Mr, Hohmboddie — “My dear, if I didn't know better than "—— (Stops short.) Mrs. Hohmboddie (with dignity) — “ Proceed, John. Be as rude as you please. Rudeness does not con- stitute argument. Finish your sen- tence, though I don’t see how I have deserved such unkindness—least of all from you!" (Weeps.) Mr, Hohmboddie —“ There— there — I never meant to hurt you, But certainly, dear, you don't know anything about politics.” Mrs. Hohmboddie (drying her eyes)—"Idoso! Wasn't my father a Democrat ?” AN INDIRECT ACCUS: Bosry—" I give up, teacher." ‘Teactter—* You are always giving up.” Bonsy—* Yes'm, dat's wot me mother says.” TEACHER (suspiciously) —"* What did she say you were always giving up—answers ?” Bosuy—" No, mum; me marbles, tops an’ knives, fer you ter give ter yer nephews, whose folks couldn't erford ter buy any, teacher.” M.S. BKIDGES. WHY THEY DON’T CELEBRATE. SS YVHY don’t you hurrah for the fourth of July 7" Asked a patriot bold of two dudes passing by With footsteps most languid and slow. ‘Then each of them lifted his glass to his eye And said, with a sickening sort of a sigh, : ** Because it's not English, you know !” Wed ists i gw HMO PA iy anys ¢ STAM | i WHY SHE PREFERRED THEM. Mr. Kissam—" What sort of fireworks do you like best, Miss Sears?” Miss Sears —“ Oh, the torpedo.” Mr, Kissam—" Why?” Miss Sears —* Torpedoes pop so de- P lightfully.” Wie APPROPRIATE, PH Bagley —"*1 thought > Mrs. Dudley's’ husband "73 was dead.” Bailey —“ Yes; died two months ago.” Bagley —* But when I saw her yesterday she had on second mourning.” Bailey —“Yes; he was her second husband.” THE AUTOMATIC BABY- CARRIAGE. Ms THE AMATEUR FISHERMAN. Three-quarters of an hour—Partial indifference One hour—Luck changed—bites galore—fish- —resolve to change luck. es galore—fish. erman dead to the world. comicbooks.com