Judge — July 10, 1897 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FX) stung by hornets; 1 guess I sprained every joint and wrist and ankle on my body while I was there. By cracky ! to ride a bievele.” Shape HIS AIR WAS MARTIAL. A POMPOUS. parse:proud chap was he, With a diamond studded hand ; And when he registered his name With a flourish fierce and grand, The lowly landlord said to him, “*Are you leader of a band? Or, if you are a general, ‘What troops do you command ?” The guest glared at the boniface And sternly shook his head ; “I'm an alderman from Gotham, sir, And own the town,” he said. A BALL IN FLYDOM. MUSICAL DIRECTOR AND FLOOR - MANAGER — “* Get your partners for the next quadrille " TO much rain makes th’ divil av a droy saison. NATURAL CONCLUSION. T WAS the first time Stuart had seen any very small chickens, and he did not understand that the smooth patches on the sides were wings, When one of the chicks tried to spread his wings Stuart cried, “See! he's opening his pockets, and there isn’t anything in them.” A PLEASANT TIME, Little Ener Askins— grandpa’s in the country ? Little Johnny Squanch— “You just bet I did! Why, I was bunted all over the place by the calves, kicked by three colts, fell into the well twice and out ef trees and swings and off from the barn and over ledges several times; 1 was run over by a wagon, and slipped into the corn-sheller and got all skinned up; I was riding on a load of wood and the horses ran away and flung me out on a pile of sharp rocks and overturned the wood on top of me; the old bull flung me over the fence into the blackberry-patch, the dog bit me twice and I was terribly “Did you have a good time visiting at your ARLE had heard his father say that dog-days would begin the next day. Accordingly the next morning he seated himself on the front door-steps. When he had been there more than an hour his mother asked what the trouble was,“ Nothing.” was the reply; “I'm just waiting for the dogs to come along. 1 want to get a Newfound- land.” RABID TRANSIT. WUEN Nansen left his ship, up north, Deciding overland to chance it, With dogs he traveled back and forth— A kind of arctic rabid transit. THE CAUSE. Gilgal —** Mave you heard of the smash-up of the Universal bank 2” Kilduff —"Was it gone up?” WE KNEW THE FEELING, Missionary (devoutly)—"* Death has no terrors for me, sir, I shall welcome it with a smile." CAN! NIBAL KING (astounded) —"' Great skull and cross-bones! You must have more wives than It was almost as much fun as learning I've got." Fae See LIQUOR AND CRIME. Orricer — ** Yis, th’ Dutch an’ th’ Oirish do be great faaple. Shure, 'tis all th’ law bizness av th’ counthry thot's in their hands.” INKL ESPIEL—"* How vos dot ?” Orricer — ** Whoy, ‘tis th’ Dutch thot make th’ beer, an’ th’ Oirish thot make th’ arrists, do yez moind 2" How ca tent hims zette, Lord | Champag fifteen ca: “Papa na—" W when he You kr ters is th by unser on you w heads pianos. and the FAITH. SHE DIDN'T WANT MUCH. SUE DIDN'T HAVE THe FACE ty DO Tt Gilgal —* Yes; gone to everlasting smash.” Kilduff —" What is the typewriter’s name ?"” Coox (just engazed)—"* No, mum ; Oi'm not wan o' thim gurls phwat wants ter play th’ pianer. or wear yure dresses, or go out three noights a week, or intertain th’ perliceman in th’ kitchen ; all thot Oi will strictly insist upon is thot you allow me ter roide yer bicycle in Cintral park ivery Saturday althernoon, Dechune th’ hours ay one p.m. an’ seven p. m., an’ thot's all i wants.” comicbooks.com