Judge — July 3, 1897 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘A man who “ marries for money" Very often doesn’t rue it; Though it may seem rather funny, Clergymen prefer to do it. —Chicago Times- Herald, It costs nine dollars per minute to converse | over a long-distance telephone, which is an- other argument for extending the telephone service to the senate-chamber.— Washington Capital, Abbott's Angostura Bitters do the work. You don’t know how. But eating’s a pleasure, and you feel like play. Abbott's is the original “What's a fishing-rod?"** It's a handsome jointed arrangement your father holds out over the water" “* What's a fishing-pole?” ‘It's a long woolen stick your Uncle Bill catches fish with.’ —Chicago Record, | American and European expositions have awarded premiums to Cook's mperial Cham- Pagne for its excellent qualities. | — The Buffalo Times editorially makes the dis- covery that ‘‘dilemmas cut no ice.” Neither | do complications saw wood.—Brooklyn Eagle. | Alice—"* What a gallant person Mr. Dunkley | is! He never addresses me without beginning * Fair miss." Dorothy—"* Oh, that's force of habit. He used to be a street-car conductor.”* —Cleveland Leader. Angostura Bitters was prepared by Dr. Sie- | gert in South America sixty years ago for his Private use. It is a fraud to say that imitations made in this country are just as good. Claud Fales Wright and Mrs. Tingley have quarreled, and Claud has resigned. His soul can now go out and crawl into the body of a vagrant cat and sit on Mrs, Tingley's back fence and make her nights as miserable as though she lived in a flat.—Rochester Herald. a A SCIENTIFICALLY COM: POUNDED ARTICLE, MAI ONLY OF THE VERY CHOIC EST MATERIALS, AND EADY TO SERVE IN A MIN: i TES NOTICE; JUST THE | THING FOR AN AFTERNOON | TEA, EVENING- PARTY, | YACHT OR PICNIC. IT MAKES B /ENTERTAINING EASY. FOR SALE BY ALL DEALERS PREPARED AND Pelle HARTFORD, NEWYORK, LONDON. TRIBUNE _ _ BIGYGLES When a widower begins to act as if he had forgotten when his wife died all the women in town remember it.—A tchison Globe. The best man is responsible for this story. It happened at a recent wedding, a home affair. The ceremony was over, and the happy pair had just right-about-faced to receive the con- gratulations of the guests, when sudden! the best man heard a whisper at his ear. the voice of the bridegroom saying, * Reggy. I'd like to have a smoke."—New York Even. ing Sun. As a specific against dyspepsia and other troubles of the stomach, also as an appetizer and for mixing in drinks, nothing superior to DOKER'S BITTERS. ** Yesterday,” said Jabson, ** I refused a sup- plicant woman a request for a small sum of money, and in consequence of my act I passed asleepless night. ‘The tones of her voice were ringing in my ears the whole time.” "Your softness of heart dloes you credit.” said Mabson. “Who was the woman?” My wife.” —De- troit Free Press. said the landlady, not so very unkindly, for she couldn't help liking the young man; ** Mr. Barkus, are you aware that You are indebted to me in the sum of eighteen dollars and sixty-five cents?” “‘ If you please, Mrs. Purvide,” said the young man, would rather not discuss financial questions until after the tariff has been settled.”—Cin- cinnati Enguirer, “Mr. Barkus, $100 to all alike. Practically tested by fast riders, rough riders and fair riders, 1897 Co- lumbias have aot been found wanting in speed, strength and beauty. I) 5% Nickel Steel Tubing, patent flush joints and direct tangeat spokes are some of the acw features. POPE MFG. CO., HARTFORD BICYCLES, $60, $55, $50, $40. It was a great enterprise.” said the enthu- stic manager." When we opened with that show we had two Uncle Toms, two Little Evas, two Aunt Ophelias, and two bloodhounds.’ * Yes," replied Mr. Stormington Barnes dream- ‘and two dollars ""— Washington Star. THE BEST IN THE WORLD. Sa ‘Send for catalogue | “THE BLACK MFG. CO, ERIE, PA. ORIES TROY, THE CELEBRATED PIANOS Are the favorite of the PIANOS and the musical public NOS. 149 TO 135 EAST 14TH STREET, NEW YORK. CAUTION H- 515,779 227129, Puble will please not confound the genuine S_0)-H-M-E-R ith One of @ similar sounding name of @ cheap grade. THE “SOHMER" HEADS THE LIST OF THE HIGHEST GRADE PIANOS. Some husbands treat their horses much more feelingly than they do their wives, and some wives treat their pug-dogs much better than they do their husbands. So, taking it up one side and down the other, it's about a stand- off.—Middletown Conglomerate. A GREAT REMEDIAL AGENT. Although physicians were for many years reluctant to recognize any mineral water as a remedial agent, many of them have of late been won over by the remarkable results obtained with Boffalo Lithia Water in the treatment of diseases having their origin in uric acid, such as Bright's disease and rheumatism, as well as in the treatment of nervous diseases and dys- pepsia, Many eminent physicians have tested Buffalo Lithia Water, the results in every case warranting a most hearty indorsement of its efficacy. Unsurpassed as a table-water, it rep- resents one of the most useful and beneficial products nature has given to mankind. The all-night drug-clerk is a good friend in trouble. A large, overgrown man stepped into his place a while ago and, comparing his watch with the clock, said, “*1 think my watch must be run down.” “Let me recommend our sar- saparilla,” said the obliging drug-clerk.—Bu/- falo Enquirer. S)y HARTSHORNS saver NOTICE “Cartwright & Warner's” Celebrated SUMMER UNDERWEAR. Ladies’ and Children's Underwear, Men's Underwear. HOSIERY. Ladies’ and Children's Real Balbriggan Hose French Lisle Thread Hose. SILK HOSE, Embroidered Fronts, Tartan Plaids. Children's Socks. MEN’S HALF HOSE, Plain Colors, Fancy Stripes, Emb'd Fronts. Beoadooay A 19'h dt. NEW York... EARL & LINEN ILSON'S RS AND ~ ELECTRICITY Machine Design: Statlooary, Locometive aod its" GUARANTEED SUCCESS. Fees Moderate, Advance or testallmeats. International Corveopendence Sebesls, Ber 919, URBANA WINE COMPANY Gold-Seal Champagne For Sale by all leading Wine Dealers and Grocers. Post-Office: URBANA, N. Y. z | 2 2 z Ei UIT TTT TTT I shot an arrow into the air. ** It-will fall to earth,” said I; ** but where?” the answer came like a lump of lead, For the arrow struck me on the head. —Harvard Lampoon. “What would our wives say if they knew where we are?” said the captain of a Liverpool clipper, feeling his way along the banks of Newfoundland in a thick fog. ‘I wouldn't mind what they said,” rejoined the mate, "if we only knew where we are ourselves.""—Zon- don Household Words. OBSERVATION SLEEPING-CARS ON BALTIMORE AND OHIO. Commencing Sunday, June 13th, the Balti- more and Ohio Railroad will place in service, between Baltimore and Chicago, Pullman ob- servation sleeping-cars. The cars have a saloon- parlor in the rear, furnished with easy arm- chairs, upholstered revolving-chairs, and sofas. This will enable passengers to view with better advantage the scenic wonders that have made the Baltimore and Ohio famous. IBRER CiGARE! peTTs Litt LE CIGARS. ALL IMPORTED TOBACCO. HIGHEST IN PRICE, FINEST IN QUALITY. asc. a Bundle, xo in Bundle. Trial Package in Pouch by mail for 26e. H, ELLIS & CO., Baltimore, Md. THE AMERICAN TOBACCO CO., {f your Dealer does not keep them, Order DIRECT from us. Wide-awake Adver- tisers are already speaking for space CHRISTMAS JUDGE. A 300,000 issue this year. comicbooks.com