Judge — June 26, 1897 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TWO OF A KIND. $6] WANT an American beaut} As they paused at the florist’s; and, bend- ing his head To look in her face, with a smile and a sigh He answered impressively, ** Ves; so do I.” NALIN CHAUNCEY. A DEBATE IN MUSIC ALLEY. THE salvation army had stopped in front of a basement in Music alley where the one-gallus gamins club was holding its regu- lar meeting. The lieutenant’s theme was “Ye must be born again.” The club had just been called to order when Patsy Grubbs astonished Chairman Mickey Murphy by inquiring, W'ot would youse fellers be ef yer wuz born agin?” said the chair- man, “an' I'd beat de face off de copper w'ot kicked me dis mornin’.” “Td be McKinley, an’ I'd make - 5 2 it agin de Taw fer shows ter charge THE OLD SIGN. more dane) nickel ler.de gallery, remarked Chimmic AW otell: Conenstein (very drunk)—"* T'ree moonsh? No; dere vash only von moonsh, s fer me,” put in Jakie Cohen, “I'd be Chauncey Depew, fer und I know id. Dose mush be tree balls. Dot vash id. Abraham Gezinsky hash he gits inter more banquets dan enoy bloke ‘cept de prince uv Wales.” gone in beesness ayain."* “ Youse fellers don't know a good ting w'en youse see it," chimed i “Nosey" Marks, “I'd be a play-actor an’ have all de matinée-gals COULDN'T FOOL THE DEPARTMENT. stuck on me.” ¢+LERE'S another funny fellow,” said the first farming expert in the de- “ Ef [had ter be born agin,” said Sammie Nervine, “I'd be a cham- partment of agriculture. “Wants to know why the government peen hase-ball pitcher an’ have me pictur’ in de papers ev'ry day.” does not make an appropriation for spraying melon-trees, so that the fruit will not all be destroyed. by worms,” ¥ “We're on to that sort of chap,” chuckled the sec- ond expert. “I wonder if he really thinks we don't know that melons grow under- ground, like potatoes?” A QUANDARY. DEAR sit, 14 like 10 marry you, But chance for that there's none. Until T have enough for two How can we become one? NO INDUCEMENT. Castleton —" ow few girls go in bathing here this season!" Dillback — "Yes. The grand - stand back: of ‘the bathing-beach has been washed away.” STANANS, Just then the lieutenant-said with great emphasis,“ Ye that are born again shall be washed whiter than snow.” And the meeting of the ga- mins one-gallus club broke up in great consternation, WALTIR CHAMP RELIEF HEREAFTER, _ WE KNOW that in the life to i come With dudes we need not mix, For when our journey here is done We pass beyond the Styx. IN CHICAGO. Dressmaker (at front door) —" Pardon me, Mr. Oftwed ; but can you tell me if your wife will be engaged this afternoon?” Mr. Oftwed —"1 really couldn’ say. You know we ‘This shows the admirable energy displayed by Mr. Casey ‘And this is the same Mr. Casey beating bis wife's were only divorced yesterday.” at the bat. carpet. j comicbooks.com_