Judge, 1897-06-12 · page 3 of 18
Judge — June 12, 1897 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page 395 This page contains three separate satirical pieces typical of Judge's turn-of-the-century humor: **"His Pleasure Marked"** (top): A social comedy about a woman complaining to a man named Moses about looking sad. The satire appears to mock romantic misunderstandings and male excuses. **"A Matter of Doubt"** (left): A domestic humor piece where a woman describes various failed attempts to get her husband to buy her a dress, with sarcastic commentary on his reluctance and empty promises. **"A Man of Letters"** (right): Features a character named Horatio discussing "the egg business," suggesting commercial dealings. The dialog hints at business fraud or deception—Horatio claims legitimacy while Lazarus expresses doubt. All three pieces exemplify Judge's focus on everyday social situations, domestic friction, and business chicanery typical of late-19th/early-20th-century American satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HIS PLEASURE MARRED. Mrs. WAXxELBAUM (lo her Ausband, who is smoking)—"* Vat makes you look so sad, Moses 7" “Vhy, I gan’t help vishing I had some insurance on this cigar. WaxeLbauat (mournfully) A MATTER OF DOUBT, HE clerk in the lumber company's store being laid up with a case of chills and fever, I had taken his place until a substitute could reach the mountains from the city. Not being much of a success at the ribbon counter, I de- voutly hoped that my duties would be confined strictly to waiting on men customers, but in this I was disappointed and the second day I had to respond to the call of a Ten- nessee mountain damsel who “ jis’ kinder draped in,” as she poetically expressed it. “Ts there anything I can show you?” I asked, with 7 A MAN OF LETTERS, an earnest prayer that there might not be, “I reckon not,” she an- swered easily; “ leastways not right now,” and her speck- led blue eyes wandered rest- lessly and caressingly over the display of bright calicoes and other dress-goods we had on the shelves, “T'll only be too glad to show you what we have,” said 1, lying like a lawyer and drag- ging down half a dozen brill- iant pinks and yellows that would dazzle the eyes of a potato, “ Th’ ain't no use in my lookin’ at nothin’,” she said, picking up the goods and let- ting them fall again, as if she would be only too glad, but that it was really hopeless. “Any way, right now," and she turned from the counter, “I'm sure now is the accepted time, as the bible A SEASIDE DIALOGUE. ELLA —"* You know I have only just arrived and haven't learned the ropes yet. You must tell me everything. Now, at what hour in the morning do the girls go in bathing?” Sres That depends on the one man here; whenever be happens to get out on the beach.” says,” I said to her. “No hit tain’t nuther,” she said doggedly, and sat down on a keg of nails un- der the eaves of the counter. “ Pap’s goin’ ter give me a new dress an’ would ‘a’ done hit to-day when we come ter the store, but Jim Hipley ‘s been courtin’ me, an’ pap tole him he didn’t want him ‘round no more, but Jim kep’ a-comin’, Day before yisterday Jim an’ me run off ter ‘Squire Bruner’s an’ wuz spliced, but I went back home an’ kep’ my mouth shut, so’s pap wouldn't know nothin’ about hit tell we wuz ready ter let him know what we'd gone an’ done, But somebody tole him this mornin’ as we come to the store, an’ he tole me ter come on here an’ wait while he went lookin’ fer Jim. Pap’s gota gun, an’ ef he meets Jim sumpin’s goin’ ter happen, I dunno jis’ what ; but hit'll be sumpin’, an’ the chances air that the only kind uv dress that ‘ll be fittin’ fer me ter wear ‘ll be mournin’. Have you got somie right nice mournin’ that ain't toocosty?” And she took her place at the counter once more while 1 yanked out all the habiliments of woe we had in stock, Horatio “I'm going into the egg business.” Lasntss— Legitimate or vaudeville 2” comicbooks.com|