Judge — June 5, 1897 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

age PUBLISHED ONCE A WERK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITRO STATES AND CANADA IN ADVAKCR One copy, one year, or s2 numbers - $5.0¢ One covy. six months, or 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy, for thirteen weeks == 1.35 Tnclading the Cwxisratas Juoce. FORRIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS —Te alt Soreign countries in the postal union, $0.00 - ‘@ year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JuncE BUILDING). Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. (Circulation larger tham any other cartoon weekly im the world. 7 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juocs are protected by copy- qoght in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. MB: ROOSEVELT has been in the navy department several weeks and no war yet. ‘ARIFF IN THE SENATE—" Millions for our own and not one cent for the nation’s prosperity.” ‘THE GREEKS never retreat. We judge from various dispatches that they merely advance backward, R. BAYARD will begin to vote for Mr, Cleveland for president just as soon as he gets himself naturalized, THE MOST impressive argument for short skirts that we know of is the length of life accredited to the women of the ballet. WHY HAVE SUITS for di- vorce? Why not put all cases of that kind in the hands of Mr, Platt for settlement? Cliicaco says it will have a thousand new saloons this year. Chicago will take notice that we have no saloons here; nothing smaller than hotels. eee THERE WILL be a diminished pension-list in Colorado, now that women are allowed to fight; for what woman would acknowl- edge herself a veteran? THE ORTHODOXY of John Watson costs him the finest advertising to be had for love or money. We don't see how the man can afford to be so infernally good. Mxs, CLONAKILTY (proudly)—" Shi HE GREEKS began to fight before the war opened, and when it opened they were quite exhausted. “My son,” said the wise father, “never shoot till you get your gun loaded.” THE REVEREND THOMAS DIXON ‘says the ministry is in its decadence; the organic church has lost its hold on the public mind. We have frequently thought of that after a perusal of the gentleman's energetic sermons. WE ARE TOLD that electrolysis will presently change colored people to white by bleaching out the carbon pigment lying beneath the epidermis, They needn't be alarmed, however. It won't be done to any colored person who behaves himself. THE DISPENSARY WHISKY of South Carolina drives men into con- vulsions and insanity, and yet a man has been sentenced to three months in the chain-gang for drinking another kind. The only safe thing for a South Carolina man to do is to go sober and risk delirium-tremens. ao & HE MAN who wanted to change the name under which he grew to greatness would be looked upon as a person with a weak spot; and we guess New York will not celebrate her suddenly-acquired extra great- ness by any such idiocy as that, The passion for changing names ought to be confined to those who are ashamed of them. TOO MANY SCENTS. CLonaxinty—""An" phwat is it yez hov in yure hond ?” milling-salts.” CLoNakILTY—"* Be afther throwin’ thim away, thin, NOT TOO MUCH OF THIS. OME NEGROES who lynched some other negroes in Texas are highly commended by the white people of the state. They must not lynch white men, however, no matter how guilty of wickedness they may be; and they must not lynch too many of their own race, either, because the amusement is practically one for the whites alone. NO DANGER. T IS NO SIGN that Mr. Cleveland wants a fourth nomination and a third term because he makes a speech and tells his particular one of the two Democratic parties what to do. Mr. Watterson needn't expect the ex-president to wear a muzzle. Mr. Cleveland has had one defeat and you couldn't hire him to undergo one that is inevitable; and besides this is a free country even for ex-presidents, SENATORS WHO SERVE THEMSELVES. HE INTERESTS of individuals are notoriously opposed to the prompt passage of any tariff bill. Several of those individuals in the senate put themselves up as obstacles to the interests of the country with an im- pudence that is amazing. ‘The people are very patient. It is curious that they have such a high respect for law in view of the character of such law- makers. THE TEARING OF THE CRASH. TEPHEN CRANE, writing of the battle of Velestino for the Journal, says the roll of musketry-fire sounded like the tearing of cloth. “It was a beautiful sound,” he adds; “beautiful as had never been dreamed. It was the most beautiful sound of my experience, barring no symphony. ay i he The crash of it was ideal.” It takes a poet to say that; though we dare say every woman who has had business with the bargain- counter has thought it. WHY WAR? Is THERE PROFIT IN WAR? Spain is beggared. Cuba is im- poverished. The Greeks insisted on war and directly begged to get out of it; and any war between Greek and Turk must inevitably be settled by the powers, whichever side wins. Nothing to show in any case but death, horror and bank- ruptcy, while the old causes of war remain. And yet the United States senate, rejecting arbitration, decides for war. AN ARISTOCRATIC COMPLEXION. MIXED BLOOD is more popu- lar in Washington than the pure article, The blacks complain that the mulattoes get all the places as public teachers that belong to their color, and that all the other places with salaries attached are monopolized by the same complexion, Not only that, but in social matters the mulattoes have the lead, and the lighter they are the higher they go. The situation involves a compliment to white people that is refreshing; but let us hope there is not going to be a new kind of race war. TEMPERANCE GONE MAD. TEMPERANCE TOWN in this state which has abolished the harder intoxicants is now making war on ginger-ale; and the woman's Chris- tian temperance union of Chicago has pronounced against soda-water, de- claring that it frequently has intoxicating properties especially destructive to the unsuspicious young girl. What, then, shall the thirsty be permitted to drink? Water has germs and insects, cider is intoxicating, and milk leads to typhoid fever. Shall the law give out the general order, “ When thirsty go out and'take a sandwich"? Th’ pig*s bad enough.” INGALLS AND GENERAL UTILITY. ENTRAL COLLEGE. Missouri, which recalls an invitation to ex-Sen- ator Ingalls to deliver an address for the reason that he wrote up a prize-fight, is assuming more than her fair share of authority. The pur- suit of money is one of the inalienable rights, and not every one can select his method of doing it; and again the address would undoubtedly have been as good as if there had never been a prize-fight. The ex-senator ought to hold the college to its bargain. He is his own master. whether he reports for newspapers or digs potatoes. comicbooks.com