Judge, 1897-05-22 · page 7 of 16
Judge — May 22, 1897 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct satirical pieces: **"Misconstrued"** (top left): A brief joke where a child misunderstands an adult's description of Captain Blossom as "a sportsman," thinking he meant someone who "got away with fourteen schooners"—confusing the nautical/piracy reference with ordinary sportsmanship. **"Choosing a Profession"** (center): A racial stereotype piece depicting an African American mayor deciding his son should become a doctor. The humor relies on dialect humor and the observation that every guest complaints of ailments ("toler'ble" condition), leading the father to conclude there's guaranteed business for a Black doctor in their community. **"A Winning Stroke of Policy"** (bottom): A five-panel comic (unclear plot from OCR text provided). **"Misplaced Confidence," "Inseparable,"** and **"Society Notice"** (right side): Brief satirical anecdotes—one about a failed Jewish businessman, one about marital discord, one about socialite gossip. The page reflects early 20th-century Judge magazine's heavy reliance on ethnic stereotypes and domestic humor as comedic fodder.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Say, paw ; * No, Willie; never got shot.” MISCONSTRUED. was old Captain Blossom ever a pirate?” he was only a sportsman.” Well, I heard him say he got away with fourteen schooners and CHOOSING A PROFESSION. RKTOWN colored society was agog over a farewell reception to be given by Mayor Sam Johnsing in honor of his son George, who was to start in the morning to college. The father was trying to decide on a profession for his son to adopt when the arrival of the guests interrupted his meditations. “ Good-ebenin’, Mistah Jobnsing,” said an early guest. “ How d'ye do, Uncle Abe?" inquired the host. “Ob, I's jes’ toler’ble, thank yo" “De compliments ob de ebenin’, yo’ honah,” chimed Uncle Enoch Jackson. "Glad toe see yo’, Uncle Enoch. How yo’ be?” Jes’ toler’ble, yo" honah. I's got a powerful misery in mah back.” “ Pleased toe greet yo’, Uncle ‘Rastus, How's all?” b, I's toler’ble peart, Mistah Mayah, but de ole wo- man is mighty pobly. Blliebe mah soul she's bin hoodooed. Mah little Gawge is ailin’ wid a misery in his side. an’ Mi- randy is defined toe her room wid rheumaticks. We's jes’ toler’ble, thank yo’ “Powerful glad toe see yo’, Uncle Eph. fiddle.” “ Lawd’s Mistah John How am yo’? Yo! look fine as a sake, sing! 1 ain't seed a well day sence Susan had de mumps an’ like toe died pneumony an’ Matilda wid de de ole woman an’ me had de yaller janders. No, sab; 1 ain't bin well ernuff toe go ‘possum- huntin’ but foah nights dis week.” “Mah son, how “oes yo' feel by now?" asked the host. “Jes tolerble, father.” “Dat settles it, A WINNING STROKE OF POLICY. SOCIETY NOTICE, “Captain Flaherty himself led the german.” mah son. I's gwine toe make a doctah out ob yo’ ef it takes foah yeahs, Den yo’ kin cum back toe Darktown an‘ be de sabior ob yo'r sufferin’ race. -Yo'll git whole passels ob patients —dere ain't a well niggah heah toe-night. Yo'll make a fortune an’ den we'll retiah toe a watermillion plantashun.” WALTER CHAMP, MISPLACED CONFIDENCE. Mr. Cohenstein —*Vas Oppenheim enchoying himselluf since he failt?” Mr. Rosendloom— Enchoying himselluf? Mein cracious! he vas ruinedt. Dot receiver vas a tief. He paid dose greditors ninedy cents on der tollar. Oppenheim mighd shoost so vell not haf failt at all.” INSEPARABLE, Husband (peni- tently)—""I don’t sup- pose I ought to swear in the presence of the children.” Wife—"1 don't know how you can help it, dear. They are always with me.” comicbooks.com