Judge, 1897-05-22 · page 4 of 16
Judge — May 22, 1897 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page 346: Satirical Commentary This page contains several disconnected satirical pieces typical of Judge magazine's humor: **"Georgia Travel"** mocks Southern railroad practices. An Atlanta man boasts about Georgia's fast trains, while a Nashville man quips that if railroads charge extra for speed, they should refund money for their typically slow service—implying Georgia trains are notoriously unreliable. The joke targets regional transportation infrastructure and Southern pride. **"Adam and Eve"** is a visual pun questioning whether the first parasol was made from an umbrella's rib, playing on the biblical creation story. **"Extenuating Circumstances"** satirizes both currency inflation debates and lenient judicial reasoning. A counterfeiter claims belief in "inflation of the currency" as his defense, and the judge surprisingly accepts this as legitimate justification—mocking both economic policy arguments and judicial logic. **"Gastronomic Avalanche"** depicts poor relatives visiting a wealthy brother, each refusing his increasingly humble food offerings, while their aunt notes the visitor hasn't eaten anything—gentle satire on class pretension and familial hypocrisy. The remaining pieces are brief jokes and verses, typical filler for the magazine.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
346 by Fath, JUDGL'S FAVORITES. NANCY MACKINTOSH AS ‘THE CIRCUS GIRL.” What a surprise! You sn the guise Of a giddy, gauzy circus-rider. But the way you sing Charms everything— You're favorite still, and no outsider. GEORGIA TRAVEL, THE Atlanta man had been “toting a heap” for his town and the Nash- ville man had been listen- ing. At last, when the conversation of the party in the smoker turned up- on the new speed rate railroad passenger-agents have been talking about, by which an extra dollar an hour is to be charged on trains making more than the average time, the Nashville man stuck up his ears. “I presume,” he said to the Atlanta man, “that if they charge extra per hour for fast time they will make a rebate of the same. amount for every hour Uncie Josnua *Mandy tripe an’ pig: brothers, down ter Y uae “TI don't know as to that," responded the At- lanta man, “ [hope they do,"*said the Nashville man insist- ently, “for if they do I'm going to do all my travel- ing on Georgia trains.” The Atlanta man fired up a bit. “What do you mean?” he asked. “ Well, I mean to re- tire on a comfortable fort- une as soon as I can,” replied the Nashville man, “and if they give me a rebate of a dollar an hour on those Georgia roads, the way they run trains usually, I'l have all the money I care to have in less than five years.” After which the At- lanta man was required by the crowd of traveling men to pay for the moist- ure for all concerned. Ww. J. LAMITON. ADAM AND EVE, was the first parasol made out of the rib of an umbrella? CANDID, Tarters (cheer fully)—"* Good-mornin'!™ Farmer—" It wouldn't be good-mornin’ ef I offered ye work.” Tatters—* Naw ; de word ud be more like good-day, den.” EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES. + +O YOU acknowledge raising that two-dollar bill to a twenty, do you?” asked the judge of the prisoner, who had confessed the charge against him. “T do, your honor; but there are extenuating circumstances.” J E> “ Name them.’ “In the first place I am a conscientious be- liever in the inflation of the currency.” “That willdo. You need go no further. Three years in the penitentiary.” IMAGINATION. WHEN wandering with Marjory The flowers, as we pass, More fragrant seem and dew-drops gleam Like jewels in the grass, A toll-gate is each graceful tree That bends its branches I'm gittin’ sick o” th’ sameness 0 beans, ONOMIC AVALANCHE. heer, First protuel Brother Josh. You'r (iraseibly) — ju Reckon I'll visit my rich York, an’ git suthin’ nice ter dish of pork and beans.”” and we are luckily going to have your favorite low, And every overhanging leaf A sprig of mistletoe. CORA BINGHAM GASKILL ighted to see you, st in time for breakfast, they lose?” eat fer a change,” SECOND RKOTIER —"* Josh, old fellow, your presence at my table brings me back to the old days, and I have prepared that you shall eat of prime tripe that you were always so fond of.” Sa UN TiiRD BROTHER —"* Dear old Josh, sit down, gota fine old-fashioned dinner of ‘pigs'-feet, with none of our frills on it eithe Hh aL if i Wl atl AUNT "MANDY (lo herself)—"" I think Joshua is overdoing this fasting ; th’ pore critter hain't swallered a morsel o' food sence he kem from York.” comicbooks.com