Judge — April 10, 1897 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

uage he can't feel hurt. No, the one with the black coat an’ the narrow white tie—that’s right. “ Neck shaved or clipped?” ” Clipped.” “Ross, com’ hea’! Dust off Senator Wolcott's shoes an’ give that bald-headed gentleman a copy of Footlight Fancies. Now look at ‘im, goin’ right up to Senator Harris with the Golden Age. That niggah ‘d flaunt a red flag in the face of a bull. Some boys falls right into the diplomacy of the business, but that. cross-eyed kid don’t never seem to git sense — he’s got no tack. He'll drive more traffic away than I could bring in with a blonde cashier. “Anything on your hair?” “No,” “ To be successful in this busi- ness you want to know a man the minute he da’kens the do’, Bruce, give Mr. Cummings a copy of the Tiger. Shave close?” “ Once over.” * Ross, see if you can’t find a Copyright 1894 by B,J. Fath. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. GIVI NG HIM FITS. JULIA MARLOWE, Of Viola the tenderness and grace, Silver Stream fur Mr. Hartiman, ARABELLA (scared }—"* Oh, mammy ! Miss Smiff say her ole man gits fits eb’ry tahm he come home drunk, an’ 1's "fraid I cotch “um.” like thine own, about thee linger still ; Mamay—"' G'wan, chile ; fits ain’ ketchii ‘Though in thy voice Parthensa’s pathos thrill, And Beatrice be laughing in thy face. ‘Yet now again thy sweet sell thou dost vary. And for thy Bonnie Prince, be Highland Mary. “um to him herse’f.” IN WASHINGTON. . sHair cut?” “Yes.” “ Short ? “ Long.” “ Yes,” said the boss barber shaking the white robe out over my lap; “this is the season when your he'p begins to be arrogant an’ effervescent. Lot o° new congressmen comin’ in— plenty to do an’ tips every time they turn roun’, Now look at that boy! Bruce, give that new member from Indiana the morn- ing paper. “Always when you can't call @ man’s tendencies do that an’ THE REAL THING. Parson —* Do you take this woman for better or worse?” BripEGRooM —“' See here, cully ; dis is a snap-shot marriage, but de chip is a lady, or | wouldn't runned away wid her ; an’ if yer call her a woman again I'll tump yer in de jaw.” PAYING HIM BACK IN HIS OWN COIN. * You want me to engage in a speculation whereby I can make half a million, Explain the scheme” ¥—"" Your daughter is to receive a million from you if she marries with your consent?” * Yes, but what has that to do with it?” Cuouuy Cunexty—'" Everything. You consent for her to marry me. She gives me the million and 1 give you half, AwABELLA—" Dey mus’ . "kase Miss Smiff say she give an’ give General Miles a copy of the War Cry. “ Little witch’azle ?” “Yes.” “Bruce, come hea’, See that man with his chur tipped back? No, the one with the pink shirt an’ the diamond — yes, the one with the horse-shoe over his mouth. Go lay a Police Gazelle in the chur beside him, an’ when he puts the Youth's Companion down give it to Senator Lodge. “ Brilliantine 2" “Yes.” “Ross, come hea’. Slide a flowered cuspidore roun’ in front uv that gentleman with the gloves on—the one with the slouch hat—an’ give him a picture- paper. Pay the cashier, please. Next!" CY WARMAN, HOW SHE DOES IT. PON aman whose purse is slim This wonder just has burst, It’s when a maid's of high degree She freezes you the worst. A CHRONIC WEAKNESS. Mr. Backpedal (tenderly, to Miss Breaker, as they wheel down the Boulevard) —“ Are you tired, Miss Breaker?" Miss Breaker—" No; but my wheel is.” WASN'T FEELING WELL. ‘s THAT'S a good conundrum,” said the Circassian girl. “ Give it to the dog-faced boy.” “Oh, I tried it on him first,” said the rubber man, “ but he seemed out of sorts this morning and wouldn't bite.” comicbooks.com