Judge — March 20, 1897 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. ‘One copy, one year. or s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, s1x months, or 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy, for thirteen weeks == 1.25 Inclading the Cuuistmas Juoce. FUORRIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS —To alt Sorngw countries im the postal union, $0.00 ‘@ year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupce BurLpING), Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York, ([W- Circulation Larger tham any other cartoon weekly in the world. FE NOTICE TO PUNLISHERS.—The contents of Juve are protected by copy- ght in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be Promptiy and vigorously prosecuted, Lt US AMEND Byron a little. ‘Tis Greece, and living Greece, some more.” cee THE TURK is beyond civilization. His only arbitration is that of the assassin, eee THE POWERS find that Greece is not to be rubbed out as if she were a mere spot. tee ; THE COLORS of the oli! flag on the seventeenth of March are red, white and green. eee THE QUESTION is being agi- tated, “ What is Christianity ?” Let us answer in one word— Greece. THE SULTAN is managing the powers with consummate skill. His diplomacy is superior to their courage and their humanity. . [® SEEMS a pity that the moth- ers’ convention coilld not have been guided and ‘strengthened by the presence and advice of a few men, GAMBLING is the art of giving money to persons whom you don’t owe and declining to exercise the same kindness in behalf of per- sons whom you do. eee THE INMATES of a Chicago insane-asylum have formed a Browning club. If they didn’t be- long to such a club before going to the asylum, what are they there for? eee Mr. Kitutty. this marnin’.” , Mrs. McSHan, Mr. Kitunty- E BEG to barely suggest.that combinations of labor are as much trusts as combinations of capital; though they may be necessary as a matter of self-defense. HORACE PORTER has been mentioned for office more numerously than any other man, We were quite astonished that he wasn’t chosen a delegate to the mothers’ congress, THE STORY of Jonah continues to agitate the theological world; but there seems to be no doubt that Saint Patrick was the greatest artist in the removal of snakes outside of New Jersey. eee THE LEGISLATURE of Nevada votes up prize-fighting and votes down woman-suffrage. Here is a whip in Susan Anthony's hand to lash’ the Nevada legislature more or less naked through the land. * we 8 THE HUMOR of Mr. Cleveland before the doctors of this town the other day was the genuine article; and we have always thought that the sedate and severe rhinoceros could dance if he might be relieved of his front legs. . eee NEED WAR,” says a writer who is opposed to arbitration, “to make men manly.” The larger part of the great army of tramps in this country is a result of our war thirty years ago. ‘There were no organized beggars before that period. If that is the kind of manliness that war brings about there ought to be some respect for peace. oe + Mrs, McShanagan, Oi've boorded wid yez now fer foor mont's, wid divil a ki:k about th’ grub ; but Oi draws th’ loine on th’ grane spinach “* Phwat's th’ matther wid i Begorry ! it hos a red hair in it THE RADICAL REFORMERS. ‘A EAW of the Argentine republic obliges a man or woman who rejects an offer of marriage without good cause to pay a fine of five hundred piasters to the person rejected. Now should not that portion of South America be annexed to Kansas? THE ROYAL INDORSEMENT. FTBE PRINCE OF WALES declared himself in favor of Mr. Bayard’s brandied peaches. We may therefore look for great industry on the part of the American housewife next fall in the line of preserved fruit; and as for the American young men who worship his imperial highness, they will probably get themselves intoxicated whether they can get the necessary fruit or not. ENVY. JOHN BURNS is dreadfully bitter against South African millionaires, and more especially against “the alien millionaire” Waldorf Astor. Let him have a little of the charity of one of his predecessors and consider that “the man’s the man for a’ that.” Mr, Astor really couldn't help being wealthy. He was born to that unhappy condition. And, after all, if Mr. Bugns had a fair opportunity to be a millionaire wouldn't he clutch it? OUR NAVAL CRIPPLES. ADMIRAL BUNCE thinks our war-vessels will be all right as soon as they are destroyed and others are built to supply the vacancies. There are persons who would like to see a resurrection of John Roach; but as that is impossible pethaps somebody will invent a way to control the ele- ments So as to prevent storms and rough water. That, and the general adoption of the arbitration idea, will, we are sure, make these great cruis- ers quite formidable war-dogs. ADAM AND BRIGHAM. ACH STATE in the union is entitled to two statues of her most distinguished men for the stat- uary hall of the national capitol, and the legislature of Utah will probably select Brigham Young as one of her two men to be so honored. The monument to Adam proposed by Mark Twain should have a place in the hall as a representative-at-large. Brigham will stand, we suppose, as the father of one of the largest fam- ilies, and Adam as the original papa beats him hands down, CRIME IN MISSOURI. T TOOK three years to hang a Missouri millionaire murderer as to whose guilt there was no doubt and whose sanity was established by thorough investigation, It has taken longer than that in this state to convict and execute a murderer : without money or friends and whose life was of no value except in behalf of the notoriety of his lawyer. Let us commend Missourf. She has her lynchings, but money cannot purchase her law and justice with respect to crimes not so chronic and legitimate. THE BAD, BAD MAN. THE REFORMERS are not of one mind. Colonel Ingersoll says a woman should have a divorce whenever she so desires, and that no- body but a brute will live with a woman who asks to be free from him. And a Missouri clergyman wants to tax bachelors very heavily, and send them to the penitentiary at the age of thirty; adding that after that age a bachelor is unfit to live with a pure woman. Between these reforming extremists the universal man had better split the difference and go out and get himself hanged. SHAMROCK AND SHILLALAH. THE ITALIANS of this country at this period are doing the digging that the Patricks did forty years ago. ‘The Irish have risen to more genteel and commanding positions, and to a large extent are the kings of our municipal governments, Only a bright race could have advanced so rapidly in wealth and influence; and the fact that at home they continue miserable and poor is evidence, if any were needed, that there they have no fair play. We imagine, however, that when Ireland gets home rule she will govern too much. It will be a very pretty government, with plenty of amusement and much prosperity for those in authority; and the com- plete and unbroken heads in it will be as scarce as the reptiles largely evicted by the sainted Patrick. comicbooks.com