Judge — February 13, 1897 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FOLLOWING THE HOUNDS, SETTLING THE ARGUMENT. TV boozy companions were wandering through the park a few nights ago when they drew near an object dimly outlined in the semi-darkness. They had reached that stage of inebriation in which a mere shadow will provoke an argument. Naturally they saw this object differently, One claimed it was a statue and the other was sure it was a messenger-boy, and for several min- utes they held each other up in maudlin controversy. “ Easy dem’strate,” sail one as he fumblingly drew a pistol from his hip- pocket, Whatsh goin’ t' do?” queried his companion. Goin’ t' shoot derned thing,” replied the fellow with the gun as he tried to adjust his inverted brain, “If it’s stattoo it'll jump, an’ if it's meshenger- boy it'll stan’ still.” FORESHADOWED. A FARMER-BOY dreamily paused at his work In the field of new-mown hay. * T wonder,” mused he, “* what folks see down in York When they go to the theatre-play ?* (He need not have bothered at wondering that If ever he'd witnessed a theatre-hat.) IT WENT. Young Huggins—“And now scientists are saying that kissing must go.” Dolly Swift (ingenuously)—" It does.” A PASTORAL IN POSTERS. THE mid-day moon lights up the rocky sky; The great hills flutter in the greenish dreeze ; While far above the lowing turtles fly And light upon the pinky-purple trees. The gleaming trill’ of jagged, feathered rocks T hear with glee as swift I fly away, And over waves of subtle woolly flocks Crashes the breaking day. CAROLYN wats HER HEADLIGHT. *QHE isa lovely woman.” “Lovely? She's soulful, man— soulful. Why, her soul is so strong it shines through her glass eye.” A HEAVY FALL OF SNOW. 1. LiTTLe GIRL. (from window)—"* Oh, mamma! come and see the beautiful snow-man some one has made us.” WON OVER. (angrily)—"' Vat's dees bypnodism beesnecs dot I hear you are skervandering monish on? IknY—" Ogskoose me, papa. gusdomer dink dot a misht is a Conen—* How inderesding ! resent?” Lypnodism is der art ohf magking a Tkey, vat do you vant for your birt'day- SCHAUMARD IN NEW YORK. THERE is a violinist in New York whom we will call Schaumard, because he looks rather like Mr. Dodson’s creation so named in “Bohemia,” and ekes out a livelihood by playing at private engage- ments, as the aforementioned individual is supposed to do in the play. Our Schaumard is the proud owner of a real Stradivarius fiddle of dilapidated and doubtful. appearance, though -of undoubted ant'quity. He is so fond of it that it never, like the rest of his belongings, has to do passive service with the Hebrew avuncular relative as collateral s curity for a loan, ‘The other evening Schaumard played at the * pala- tial " residence of one of those prosper- ous commercial burghers whom en- vious people stigmatize.as parvenus or nouveaux riches. Before the concert began the violinist found occasion to show his instrument to the. host, re- marking that‘it was a Strad nearly two hundred years old. The ‘imillionaire listened dubiously, shrugged his shoul- Gers, and Said, “ Well, we shall have to risk it now. Play as well-as you can on the old thing, keep, her well out of sight, and maybe my guests won't no- tice it.” WHERE REFORM IS NEEDED. To LOOK only at dairy’s milk Is nothing short of blindness. ‘The most adulterated sort Is that of human kindness, —Come—eh—an’ led your papa in.” comicbooks.com