Judge, 1897-01-30 · page 3 of 16
Judge — January 30, 1897 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page 67 Analysis This page contains three separate humorous pieces: **"Kissing"** — A poem questioning why kissing is pleasant, describing the physical mechanics in deliberately unglamorous terms to deflate romance. **"Jungle Amenities"** — A satirical anecdote mocking high-society women's pretensions. It depicts an encounter between refined ladies (Madame Hippopotamus, Mrs. Elephant) and "Lady Tiger" in a jungle setting, suggesting these socialites are no more refined than animals, despite their pretensions to culture. **"The New Journalism"** — Satirizes sensationalist newspaper practices, criticizing journalists who perpetuate lies about crimes without verification, then suggesting raising their salaries—a sarcastic jab at unethical reporting. **"A Rio-Grande 'Ruse'"** and **"A Good Brush"** — Brief comic dialogues with accompanying illustrations depicting confrontations with crude or violent individuals. The page critiques social hypocrisy, poor journalism ethics, and masculine bravado through humor and caricature.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
KISSING, (Scientists say that the pleasure of Alssing it im the tickling of certain airees inthe pa oth and we. ae eg Hebling ts elect WEY is kissing so pleasant? Kesmack, kesmack ! One gives away something— And gets it back ! He purses his lips, She shuts her eyes, He presents their tips— To her great surprise ! And then, in a moment, it's done— Or, rather, it’s just begun. Kesmack, kesmack ! There's never a lack Of reasons why kissing is pleasant. And kissing ought to be pleasant— Kesmack, kesmack ! There are certain nerves to be tickled (And tickled back !)— ‘The nerves in the jaws, The lips and teeth, If touching, cause— So pedants teach— Electrical currents that thrill, Whatever or not the will, So smack | kesmnck | WOULD LIKE TO MEET THEM THERE. There can’t be a lack Livre Parsy—*" Do Orangemen go to heaven, grandpa 7” i Of reasons why kissing is pleasant. GRANDFATHER FLYNN —"* Oi hope so, Patsy, for Ui nivir could be happy dhere if Oi couldn't git a crack at thim divils %, mopixsox, _occashunally.” JUNGLE AMENITIES, T WAS in the depths of the Indian forest, and the bungalow of Lady Tiger was sheltering, during the period of a fashionable call, those leaders of jungle society, Madame Hippopotamus and Mrs. Elephant. Whatever possessed her to do it, unless it was her high cult- ure and her superior instincts, does not appear, but Madame Hippopotamus, with an unmistakable sneer on her open counte- nance, nodded toward Mrs. Elephant. “"Umph !” she said, “I don’t think I'd take my trunk around with me wherever I went.” A more refined and cultured individual than Mrs. Elephant doesn’t exist, and she felt this uncalled-for thrust keenly. Still she did not forget what she owed to society. “Neither would 1,” she replied pleasantly, “'if I had a mouth big enough to carry six months’ supply of clothes in.” THE NEW JOURNALISM, +s YOU say that the assailant is unknown and was not even seen by the victim of the A RIO-GRANDE RUSE. fy y Snorty (angrily) —"* Consarn yer, Dave! yer tolt me this assault, and yet you have a four-column picture of the act with all the features erick sould be forded easly thet it gus only up ser thr waist.” of the man distinctly drawn, What do you do with an artist who will perpetrate a lie Loxc Dave —" Wa-al, wot yer kickin’ bout? Did yer think like that?” I wuz goin’ inter details wi’ yer, an’ say whose waist it wuz only “Do with him? Raise his salary, of course.” . po ‘A GOOD BRUSH, Porren—"* Brush yer coat, sir?* 1— ant Tue Texas corowmt—'" Why, yo" scoundrel, yo've brushed my coat away !* comicbooks.com