Judge — January 16, 1897 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ude PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITRD STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year. or s2 numbers - ‘One cop: Including the Cumistwas Juoar FOKRIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To alt Soreen countries in the postal umion, $0.00 ‘a year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JuDce BurLDING), Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. (8 Circulation larger than any oth 100m weekly im the world. (2 NOTICE TO PURLISHERS.—The contents of Jupce are protected by copy- in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptiy and vigorously prosecuted. THis PLATT TROUBLE is worse than it was before because, alas! the man isn’t going to resign. cee SENATOR JONES SAYS, wherever he goes, that his visits have no political significance. We think he is right. eee THOSE ITALIANS cannot whip Abys but when they fight in the chamber of deputies they fight like demons, . OROSIS has started a war in behalf of the birds; but the fact prevails that a bird in the hat is worth two in the bush. “4 PEACE HATH her terrors no less than war;. and if this country doesn’t get into a scrape with a few other nations thousands of our jingoes will perish of broken hearts. es ee M* CHOATE cannot arrive there with any portion of his termi- nal anatomy; but he can have the satisfaction of knowing that he has tried to serve heaven and his native land. eee LET US ADOPT the theory that kleptomania is meaner than thievery because it is wantonness in crime, and many ‘wealthy persons will be saved the humiliation of their cupidity. . : MB: BAYARD says Americans still look upon England as their old home. Yes; and, as the man who was henpecked once re- marked, “There is no place like it, thank God.” “Ts Pat Mulligan in, sor?” “No, sor; but Capi wud loike't’ shpake wid him.” "Very will, thin. unifarm aff an’ OMEBODY said that a surplus was easier to get along with than a deficit; but Mr. Cleveland and Mr. Carlisle have convinced them- selves that a deficit sa surplus. . ee THINK OF CELEBRATING the murder of one man as a great war victory! ‘The cause that does that has dug a grave not so much for its victim as for its own decency and dignity. Ts E COURTS have legalized the marriage of one woman in two states to two totally distinct men. As there is no national divorce law, she ought to be twice fortunate and twice protected. W EYLER'S PROPC of the ma choke a dog. TION to starve the insurgents out reminds one in who went out in his night-dress, on a winter night, to In the morning he was found dead, with the dog’s throat in his hands; but the dog recovered. THE COOLI the half-breeds and the lepe.s of Hawaii are not good material for.voters. We hope the time will never come when it will be necessary to wait for the returns from Hawaii, or Cuba for that matter, to see which of those countries has, as a balance of power, elected a pres dent of the United States. A METAMORPHOSIS. Mulligan av th’ ‘ Hibernian rit “It's Pat Mulligan thot Oi wanted t’ see, sor.” Come in an’ shut th’ dure an’ wait a bit till Oi git me z kin shpake wid Pat Mulligan.” A GROSSLY GUILTY GAMBLER. MAN of our stock-exchange recently made a million in twenty minutes. The gambling that allows such profit is shameful. ‘The young man’s conscience will surely not permit him to keep the money. Let him send it to us and we'll see that it is properly distributed. We assure him that he will-feel better for it, and so will we. A YOUNG NO. CRITERION. [7 IS TRUE that there is no outcry against the tall bonnet in church but it must be remembered that only one clergyman indulges in spec- tacular effects. We refer, of course, to the gentleman who recently de- scended from his pulpit to show with his legs, as an accession to his ora- tory, the evil involved in the unsaving grace of the modern dance. QUALITY IN NEWS. EWS HaPP! It is not made to order. It is not good, better. best, or bad or worse, like dry-goods and groceries. It is not pos- sible to so regulate the universe as to have such news as one prefers. When, therefore. a newspaper says it will give only the best news it means, if it means anything, that it will give only certain kinds of news, and that therefore it will not be a newspaper. VERY DANGEROUS DECENCY. THE YOUNG EDITOR of a newspaper in Clay county, Alabama, who was recently shot and killed at night as he sat with his mother at a window of his house, had pleaded hard for decency and good living. His assassins naturally thought that the plea was an attack on them, and hence the murder, They felt insulted, and , they undoubtedly thought the young man was putting on airs. THE MORALS OF PU- GILISM. TIS PERHAPS true that pugil- ism is more tolerated to-day than ever before. That may not be a recognition of pugilism as a legitimate amusement, however, so much as an evidence of the decline of public morality. And it certainly is suggestive of a bad state of things to see Mr. Sharkey walking around with ten thou-and dollars of another man’s money in his pocket, and no- body courageous enough to knock him down and take it away from him. OUR FORGOTTEN WARDS. THE VENEZUELANS have sud- denly acquired an affection for such home rule as England and this government do not wholly control. ‘They didn’t think of that for a long time; and the controlling parties have been so happy over the assur- ance of continued peace between themselves that they have forgotten Venezuela altogether. The chagrin of Venezuela is not unnatural; but she ought not to expect Great Britain and this government to whip each other solely for her gratification. in, sor, if yez HAVE WE A KING? ‘THE PRESIDENT is not the king of the congress or the people. If the man so called were to get a third term he would doubtless assume that superiority, and with very good reason. Even a second term threat- ens that result; so that our only safety against one-man tyranny lies in the proposition for one term and no more. The voice of the people ané of the senate and house really amounts to something; and what magnifi- cent egotism the president must have to assume that it is at the most merely an expression of opinion. PROHIBITION IN KANSAS. THE ATTORNEY-GENERAL of Kansas says the prohibition law of that state has not been enforced by him or his predecessors because public sentiment has been opposed to it. One would think that public sentiment would have been powerful enough to prevent the law or accom- plish the repeal of it. It may have the most votes, but the cranks appar- ently have the most power. And really that is a reasonable proposition, because the cranks escape the lunatic-asylum by refusing to drink the abominable liquors that prohibition brings to market. comicbooks.com