Judge — January 9, 1897 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

26 Suage THE MODEST MAIDEN AND THE CLOCK. IS the story of a bad brother-in-law, a modest maiden and a totally depraved alarm-clock. Mrs. John Henry Fosdick has a young sister who is as sweet as a peach and as shy asa fawn, This modest maiden paid her married sister a visit not long since, and it was during this visit that the incident I am about to relate took place. One morning Mrs. Fosdick told her husband at the breakfast-table that a new alarm-clock was needed in the ] servants’ room, as the exertions of the old one in getting the maids up in the morning had ruined its constitution. Mr. Fosdick promised to get a clock and take it home that night. : Later in the day .Mrs, Fosdick’s sweet young sister stopped in her brother-in-law’s office to deliver a message oe from his wife, whereupon Mr. Fosdick said, “Nellie, I see you are not overburdened with packages, while I must get several things and take them home with me when I go later in the evening. I wonder if I could get you to take home a package for me now?” “ With pleasure,” replied Nellie politely. Then the wicked man went into another room, wound up that new clock, set the alarm for five minutes after three, made a neat package of the thing, and handed it to his pretty sister-in-law with many apologies for troubling her. At precisely three o'clock Nellie entered a cable-car and took a seat. At the next corner a number of people got aboard. Every seat was then occupied and many of the straps were in use. The conductor commenced to worm his way Jones —"* She doesn’t. through the mass of passengers in quest of nickels. Suddenly the ringing of a loud- toned bell startled the passengers. “ Who's ringin’ up fares ?” de- manded the conductor angrily. He shoved his way forward to find that no one was bankrupting him by means of the register, but that a timid girl was gazing with a half-terrified face at a package in her lap, while such of the passengers as could see where the noise came from were vastly amused. Nellie had not been told that the package held the new alarm-clock, but she knew it now, after her first sudden fear that the buzzing thing in her lap was a dynamite-bomb. Would it never stop? She NO CAUSE FOR ALARM. never knew before that alarm-clocks ee aoe (during shampoo)—''Ab! 1 say, me good fella, you will shake were so long-winded. She gazed at Te brains out!” ” the package intently, while blushes Bansun—" No danger, sir. Sl “(aa package for her. alarm-clock and take it home himself. HOW IT ORIGINATED. ‘ick, Solomon ! dot kitchen chimney vos on fire.” terically)—"* 1 tond’t know. Maype dot draught vos—vos oferdue.’ ETHel fow did dot habben ?” NO ELOPEMENT. CHaRtes—"' Ethel, if your father does not consent you're to fly with me to-night.” * No, Charles Ethelbert Rawlston ; you're too fly with me to-night.” NOTHING TO TAKE. * How does your wife take it, when you go home full?” I seldom have a cent left."” chased each other over her cheeks in rapid succession. At last she could stand it no longer. Jumping up from her seat she slammed the pesky thing on the floor of the car, still burr-buzzing with all its might, and tried to force her way to the door. The car selected this particular moment to go around a curve. Nellie collided with a strapped fat man who was bracing himself for the turn, and the mixture of momen- tums broke the fat man’s strap. He fell plump against a woman who was holding a baby in her lap, and the baby expressed its indignation by howling. Nellie herself was thrown into the lap of a young gen- tleman who wore a carnation in his. buttonhole. She begged his pardon, but he urged her not-to mention it, although his carnation was smashed. Several other passengers bumped into each other, and two or three hats were knocked off and disfigured, and the con- ductor had to set Nellie on her feet again before equilibrium was restored. Then the poor girl insisted upon leaving the car, although she was still six blocks from home, and she vehemently refused the conductor's offer to get her She says her brother-in-law is too mean to live, and he can just buy another - Pat— th’ bist, : nis—" H new fring ould one A mat terruptec Ball's Ce Wond awe and Saturday neck.— Asa troubles and for BOKEI Tour age to s ed to st serve yc —h When 3 shoot b Bews will off ard art world-r facture Jami side sa when h ind arising outer “Ex comicbooks.com