Judge — December 26, 1896 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

488 uae TAKING HIM DOWN. —_ EVIDENTLY be was a country barber on a tear, NRA\eRN DS sy and his name was Barum Lathers and he |\\H ait yl HAS was going to have a good time if it cost the |S WARUW vy} whole three dollars. He went into Dutch Pete's MRE WM on Eighth avenue and called for a cup of coffee ik iN and a sandwich. There was quite a crowd in }XAKWWY and it was a good time to show off. i “ Waiter,” he roared, and when the waiter appeared he angrily pointed at his cup and snorted, See that fly in that cup !" ” By George!” said the waiter, and hurried back to the counter and got the boss, He came slowly up to the table, gazed at the fly, and then sent the waiter after the cook and his assistant. id the blushing countryman ; ‘I don’t care.” For the curious eaters were leaving their tables to see what all the commotion was about “But I care,” said Pete. “Go and get a board.” A board about six feet long was brought and the fly was fished out and the cook solemnly laid him in the centre of it, and a procession was formed to carry him out. “How much is my bill? I guess I better be going,” said the blushing country- man. * Not a cent,” said Pete; “and don’t you be afraid to come here when you want to, This sha'n’t occur again.” And as the customer vanished through the door, energized by the laughter behind him, Pete yelled, “ Remember, they can’t no—fly rus. this establishment.” f WN i A CHRISTMAS TRAGEDY. chair on the sidewalk one could see that it was more than a faint. . seen more 'n a dozen.” Il bet they’r tryin’ ter heat this hull park with a furnace ike ter know what they won't try next.” g°e7errdt4T TOOK four strong men to drag her senseless form out of the ———$—$———_—_ ne H Christmas crowd that fought and scrambled around the bargain- THE SEWER-GRATES OF CENTRAL PARK. H counter. She was a frail little thing, and as she was placed in a Sue—‘' What d'ye think them grates is fer, Hiram? We've , 5 $ “ Give her air!” cried those in the front row who were keeping py gu" Tat all the air from her. Ina few moments there was a stir among the crowd, and a policeman, followed by a doctor, pushed his way in. The doctor felt her pulse and shook his head. “Has she any friend here?” he asked. “ Yes—yes,” came a voice from the back of the crowd, “I'm her husband.” Room was instantly made for the young man. As he stood in front of his wife she opened her eyes. “I feel I'm dying, Henry,” she said, “It was that last bargain-counter. I J was waiting for my change when a big fat woman "—— She had swooned, and it was some time before the doctor could revive her. “can’t live long, Henry,” she continued. “Tell me if 1 can do anything for you,” he asked with tears in his eyes. “Don’t cry, Henry,” she replied. “Feel in my pocket — it's more around the other way— and you'll find a memorandum-book. Yes, that’s it. There is a list of the things I was going to get for Christmas. How many were there?” “ Thirty-one,” sobbed her husband. “That's what I thought. I checked off each one as I bought it.” “ They are all checked off,” said her husband, “ Are you sure of that?” < “Then, Henry, put your arm about my neck. As they are all checked off I can die happy.” ACCHEST;FROTECTOR: JAMES JAY O'CONNRLL. THE RESULT. é Sally Gay—" We girls of the Byron coterie discussed ‘ Childe Harold ° last night.” Dolly Swift— What conclusion did you reach?” Sally Gay—“ Why, after a two-hours’ debate we unanimously decided that a chaperon is not a necessary adjunct to a bicycle.” ANTEDILUVIAN. "Squire Medders —" The Littlevilles are very old-fashioned, aren't they?” Mrs. Medders — Old-fashioned? Why, they actually play croquet !” STILL THEY GREW.. How a magical growth of horns failed to stop the gamins' ride. comicbooks.com