Judge — December 12, 1896 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Within two days after election the Elkader Register pops up and says, “* Now, Mr, Hanna, please let us have those good prices.” - Some- 1ow this reminds us of the man who one morn- ing bought his boy a book on elocution and oratory. That night he said, “James, have you looked at the book I gave you this morn- ing?” “Yes, pa,” said the young man. “Good,” said the parent. ‘Git out on the floor there and let me hear you elocute a little."* —West Union (Lowa) Gazette, Angostura Bitters, the world-renowned South American tonic, cannot be successfully imitated in this country. Insist on having the only gen- uine, prepared by Dr. Siegert. Yo" kin seldom git 4 man’s hones’ opinion ef he knows whad answer yo’ want.—Doan’ t'ink ob toe-morrer w'en yo’ ah troubled ; tink ob a year from toe-morrer.—Yo'r frien’s ah often afraid toe do yo’ a favah, fearin’ hit wud dis- Please yo'r enemy.—Arkansaw Thomas Cat, If Dobbins’s Electric Soap is what so many insist that it is you cannot afford to go without it, Your grocer has it, or can get it, and you can decide for yourself very soon, Don't let another Monday pass without trying it. “Excuse me,” said the Vassar girl sweetly ; “but will you be good enough to open this window for me?" Commercial traveler (who has tried it before)—"* Really, I should be de- lighted ; but the fact is I forgot the combina- tion several years ago."— Philadelphia Cali, “Ts the queen in?” asked an Irishman of a portly gentleman just issuing from Windsor castle. ** What do you wish?’ I am the prince of Wales.” ‘Glad to know you, Is your mother in?’—New York Journal. MaARTFORD, NEw vorK. LONDON Miss Gushington (to young widow whose husband has left a large fortune)—"* That is the fourteenth mourning-costume I have seen you wear in three days, and each lovelier and more becoming than the other.”"— Young wid- ow—"Oh, my dear! | have forty. - But such a bother they were to have made At one time [almost wished that poor, dear George hadn't died."— Spare Moments, Many things which are advertised possess no value; but who would say that Dr. Ball's Cough Syrup possesses no merit? It is the standard remedy of our age. “We drink too much beer,” says the Chi- cago Chronicle. ‘That's bad, very bad. Buthow much is too much beer in Chicago ?— Utica Observer, A profesior of something or other says that cats die at an elevation of thirteen thousand feet. While this is good news, perhaps he will inform an humble Rochesterian how cats are to be elevated to that height without the use of a twelve-inch wire-wound gun, which is not an article of household utility. —Rochester Herald. Always have a bottle or two of Cook's Zmpe- rial Extra Dry Champagne in your ice-chest ; then you will always be ready for callers. Office-boy—"* Please, sir, I've a complaint to make. ‘The book-keeper’ kicked me, sir. I don’t want no book-keeper to kick me." Boss— ** Of course he kicked you. You don't expect me to attend to everything, do you? I can't look after every little detail in the business my- self."—New York Tribune, : You Must are guaranteed by the Waltham Watch. Do For sale by all Have a Watch. WALTHAM WATCHES are the best you can buy, in America or in Europe. Watch Company. Movements engraved with the trade-mark “Rzverszde” or “Royal” Insist on a not be persuaded that There is no better. Retail Fewelers. are specially recommended. something else is better. They American Waltham THE SECRET. “TI don't see how, in your business, you keep a silk hat looking so nice, It must get a good many hard knocks. “You see, it’s like this—hard knocks don’t SN S ISCONSIN CENTRAL LINES i 3 in going to or from Chicago or Mil- fy waukee, and St. Paul, Minneapolis, Ashland, Duluth and the Northwest you can save time. Luxurious ] equipment. fj _-PAS.C. POND, Gen. Pass. Agent, «CL WELLINGTON, Traffic Mgr. MILWAUKEE, WIS. matter. It’s a A’nox hat,” 100 PHOTOGRAPHS FOR $1.00. otograph of Fourselt Pepe rey ae fa dave, al gumined and perfor Liane eo'a postege-saiy. just the thing for sticking Oo tras aatoncry creo ing. Address STACY, Photographer 40 Fire Aver tioskyON. ‘Photograph returned. ** Yes,” said the Buffalonian who was show- ing the town to a visiting friend, * this is Main street. You will notice that it is darkened by a number of electric lights."— Buffalo Express. THE CELEBRATED SOHMER Pianos are tho Host. ‘Warerooms: 149-155 E. 14th St., New York. A ROVELTY KNIFF—Your ote. unde ‘name and address, photos, 0. NOVELTY CUTLERY CO., I! Bar St., Canton, Ohio. ie transparent nana jorable transparent handles. bd free fromdatecta, KDife 01M) Carpenter Haber, Excellent Christmas Gifts. The most refined Perfumeand to-d the Standard in al civilized countries, HERTEL, | % w= TAILOR. 255 FIFTH AVENUE, Correct Styles. Bet, a8th and agth Sts., Imported Fabrics Exclusively, New York. Jvvon’s Limnany fs fall of pure fan. No politics. 0c. GENTLEMAN'S SMOKE When two women love the same man the wrong one always gets him. It doesn’t matter which. —New York Press. “Hear dem bells a riogiog, Gey'eringing everywhere ‘The Chimes of Normandy could ‘not excel in sweetness abd pu iNew Departure BICYCLE BELLS The standard of excetlence the wilted over hue aee Sree thems Pn AH Gea Bell Co., Bristot, Cona., USA, DEAF-NESS “fterestr? one Common ‘The New Departure 7 UDGE. Every copy of Jupce for 1895, In two volumes, substantially bound in cloth, with gilt edging, express pre- paid anywhere in the United States, for $9. Send orders promptly. Judge Pablishing Co., 110 Fifth Avena, NEW YORK. PERFECTOS, 13 ina Bor, 81,00. DELMONICOS, 25 In a’Box, 83.00. JACOB STAHL, Ji Fe FPUNSWICR Gisar HOLIDAY: PACKAGES. CO., Makers, New York, and at all our, SEND MONEY BY REGISTERED MAIL, UET- EXTRA, 25 ina Bor, 82,00. OTREVATE BTOCK: soin a Bos, ©6400, ‘Agencies throughout the U.S comicbooks.com