Judge — November 28, 1896 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

uae DECISIONS OF THE JUDGE. eal. ase ze) OVE. means not only infinite giving, but infinite for- giving. Profanity is the free silver of speech. The average man would rather lend his tooth- brush than his wheel. Nothing sickens a man of his pet theory like seeing it in operation. A secret told to a woman is syndicated; told to a man it is a “scoop.” Marrying into a family does not carry with it the right to criticise its members. The most pathetic thing in the matrimonial compact is the regularity with which husbands re- late the irregularities of their friends. sverus exo. YELLOW. SD) OODNESS!" exclaimed Margie compassion- ately, “ how bilious ze twees look!” NOVEMBER WOODS, ALE gold against the branches bare —_Like tatters from a beggar's cloak, ‘The wintry sunlight shines, In drift and pyramid And from the north the flying clouds Lie strewn the leaves, but underneath ‘Are dark above the pines, The glossy nuts are hid. A silver frost is on the fields, And all along the broken fence, ‘The winds are loud and chill ; Between the mossy rails Bat in the shadow of the wood And from the dusky cedar-tree, Is many a treasure still. ‘The scarlet ivy trails, Wild grapes from twisted tendrils brown Like purple jewels swing ; And see! beside the lichened rock ‘That guards a crystal spring A single spray of golden-rod Flames out against the gloom With all the glory of the year Upon its yellow plume. sera ravine. Peereercr FORCE OF HABIT. yaseeeee ‘Mrs, SHARrLeY—" You drunken brute! this is a pretty time to bring Se rteen® that Thanksgiving turkey home. What in the world are you doing here?” a Mr. SHARPLEY (with recollections of sleepless nighis)—"*'Sh, M'ria! Baby almos' shleep. Don’ waken ‘i “ How s0?" asked Mrs. Small. Well, if the boys were made obedient by using prunes as a diet the thing is very extraordinary; but if they were cowed into docility by the threat that if they were bad they would be fed on prunes as a punishment there is nothing strange about it.” THE VALUE OF PRUNES. Mea Scull did or ae happy over this explanation, and six saucers of +4] READ a very curious statement about prunes the other day,” stewed prunes were untouched at that meal. remarked Mrs Small as she served her boarders with dessert. “ALL THE COMFORTS OF HOME." WILLIAM HENRY SIVITER, ‘The boarders looked up in surprise, for the prunes were usually AMERICAN POLITICS. handed around in solemn silence. From the London (England) Trumpet. le “It comes from a Chicago physician,” Mrs. Small went on, wisely HERE are three great political parties in New York and Missouri—the interpreting the look of surprise as an expression of anxiety for infor pennyanties, the bicarbonates and the Sheehans. The president is mation about prunes. ‘This physician has been officiating at a juve- elected at Washington. He can never become a queen, no matter how hard nile reformatory, and he discovered he may try. If he ill-treats his sub- that a prune diet had a highly gratify- jects he is sent to Boston common for ing moral effect. There is a principle life, in the juice of the prune which acts ‘upon the tendency to disobedience and reduces the most intractable boys to models of politeness and docility. Isn't that very remarkable?” “T think,” replied the star boarder, THANKSGIVING? HAT are we thankful for? “That is a question ‘That sometimes puzzles e’en a dinner- guest. “that the question of its remarkability ‘The rich are thankful for a good diges- depends on the method of the use of ae ets ee the prunes.” mera if they have something to Wy / 3. ARTIst—" By Jove! most realistic thing T ever did,” REALISTIC ART. comicbooks.com | |