Judge — November 21, 1896 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

uae OUR COLORED BROTHER. sae I MEET my colored brother in the bright- est, gayest scenes ; Between the first course and the fish his vis- age intervenes. He softly treads the parlor-car, a whisk-broom in his hand, And lives in negro ** quarters,” as once in his southern land, On our fine excursion-steamers you will find him still ** on deck"; At the soirée or the wedding he will answer sign or beck. And he swarms about the pool-rooms ; but I doubt that in each case His presence at the trotting-course has much improved the race. ALT. WORDEN, THE WHISKY OR THE MONSTER. [7 WAS in Arizona at a mining-camp in the days of Indians, gila monsters, and cheap whisky, A miner named Frazer, one morning while in a maudlin con- dition, noticed a gila monster in a barrel and commenced teasing it, turning it over, against the injunction-of friends, “Oh, the thing’ wan't hurt me,” he said.“ Le’ me alone.” In a moment he held-to, view:the monster, clinging to his thumb. He shook it loose and walked to a neighboring’ saloon. “Jim,” he said to, the bartender, with an eye to realizing on his wound, hold- ing out the tooth-niatked! thumb, “I've been bit by that infernal gila nionster over there, What had'I better do about it?” : “Do? You had better take some whisky. Here!" and Jim handed out the bottle. ‘A big glassful was poured out and very soon disappeared. Hi At another saloon he was given the same rough sympathy. Then he asked to lie down on the blankets in the corner. The “ boys" were playing poker rather nois- , but Frazer did not seemed disturbed. Pres- ently one of the men about the place stepped up to see how he was “coming on.” His face was cold; his pulse did not beat. “ Boys, he’s dead!" cried the investigator. “Oh, let.us alone. Don't you see we are playing poker ‘They were ‘finally persuaded to get up,and confirmed the report. A coroner's jury was brought to the scene next day. ‘They could not give a verdict, being unable to decide what killed him. Which was jt that ended him—the whisk: or the gila monster? HARD TO FILL. Proprigtor—"* Look like three of a kind, don’t they?” Bar-keerer—" Ves. fer a * full” ter an hour.” BLACK oyes:indicates thot th’ other felly has T've been drawin’ to ‘em a revingeful, vindictive nature. A PERNICIOUS INVENTION, Mr. O'Too1.e—*' Thin bad luck t’ th’ haythen thot invinted clocks. Sux—* What fine, broad shoulders you have!” lig—"* They're necessary for a half-back.”” Sue—"* My! how broad the full-backs must be !" ABOU BEN ADAM. Arov BEN ADAM, after Eve's decease, Awoke one night from a long rest in peace And saw within and up and down his room— In what seemed trousers, but of ampler bloom— A woman striding ; not his Eve of old, Bossing of whom had made Ben Adam bold. But to the vision bifurcate he said, ** What wearest thou?" The woman turned her head And with a voice that seemed indeed a stare Answered, "* The things new women mean to weai “And are you one?” said Adam, “Aye, quite so, Replied the stranger. Adam whistled low, Bot cheerfully, and said, ** In that case, then, Count me, I pray, as one that loveth men.” ‘The woman vanished, but thenceforth of nights Showed in a hail and spoke on woman's rights. Men fled outright, as though engagements pressed ; And lo! Ben Adam's feet led all the rest. JOMN PALL. Mrs. O'Too1.n—"* They do say, Pathrick, thot there's a new baby born iv'ry toime th’ clock ticks.” comicbooks.com