Judge, 1896-10-24 · page 5 of 16
Judge — October 24, 1896 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical pieces from the 1890s: **"Collapse of the Campaign"** mocks William Jennings Bryan's 1896 presidential run. The dialogue suggests Bryan abandoned his campaign ("left the stump"), with various working-class characters dismissing it—one notes he quit to smoke a cigar. The satire targets both Bryan and his supporters' credulity. **"That's Different"** satirizes class hypocrisy. A bicyclist righteous about birds eating grapes becomes a fruit thief himself once learning the vineyard owner is "only the hired man"—suggesting wealthy people feel entitled to steal from those they view as beneath them. **"The Sear and Yellow Leaf"** and "A Thorough Job"** depict farmer schemes. One shows poisoning stolen apples to catch thieves; another shows a farmer's son returning from college, unaware he's about to unknowingly eat the poisoned fruit his father set as a trap. The dark humor lies in the ironic comeuppance. All pieces reflect period cynicism about politics, morality, and rural life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
COLLAPSE OF THE CAMPAIGN. $¢SO BRYAN has lift th’ shtump,” said Mulvaney as he opened his paper and glanced at it. “Wh-a-t!" roared the fat drummer from Cohoes. “Just what I been expecting,” said the dyspeptic chap with the light over- coat, “Been doing too much and broke down, like Blaine,” said the casket-peddler from Syracuse. “ How old a man was Bryan?" asked the man with a white tie. “I don't believe a word of it,” said the calm man who was eating peanuts. When did he leave the stump?” “He lift th’ shtump yisterday a-loying an th’ car-windy an’ loighted a frish seegar,” said Mulvaney as he folded up his paper. “That would be a better joke,” said the man with a long face like'a horse. “if Bryan were a smoker; but he ain't.” THAT’S DIFFERENT. + ¢}]}. THERE!” shouted the bicyclist as he rode along a pretty country road on Long island ; “the birds are eating your grapes.” “So they are.” replied the man who was working in the field.“ But,” he added with fine indifference, “it’s nothing to me. I'm only the hired man.” “Oh, in that case said the bicyclist; and he dismounted and helped THE SEAR AND YELLOW LEAF. himself to a few bunches of the finest he could reach. Parson Goopman—* Why are you crying, little boy?” “Ten cents, please,” said the other as he mounted his wheel again. Boy-""] can't bear to see the leaves begin to turn si.” “But you said they were not your grapes,” feel EASON OCCOH A | ares test) bee. born poet gy rosts always “ They ain’t, but I'm the hired man,” Boy—" I's school-book leaves that I'm referrin’ to, sir.” W's 1. FARMER GREEN—"* Thar, I've fixed thet 2. ABNER G! R (returning unexpectedly from apple with ingredients thet its purloiner will re- co/lege)—"* How surprised dad ‘Il be to see me! member ter his dyin’ day.” just cut across through the orchard, — ~ 3. ——Ha! there's a luscious pippin. They Tl don’t git no sech apples as thet in the city— ' onc ss . FARMER GREEN —"T' 6, FARmer Green (penitently)—" Odds, Bobs 4 Oh, ouw! Ouch! Poisoned! Murder!” 4045: F Mponioar te Faure ter steal Ff Thain't bin layin’ me own son inside an’ aout.” ( Tableau.) A THOROUGH Jos. ‘comicbooks.com