Judge — October 24, 1896 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wliage- W. J. Ameen. 1. M. Grecony, PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITRD STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. ne copy, one year, or sz numbers One copy, six months. or 26 num! One copy, for thirteen weeks, - Tocliding the Cuxistaas Jovan. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To alt forcisn countries im the postal union, $0,008 yrar. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupcr BurLpiNc). Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. nmano GILLAM ‘diter. tee advertivers a larger circulation than any other Ameri mn satiri. d Juoce’s Quantanty are all for sale at Brentano s, Ainslee & C id, London ; reams Building. Chancery Lane, E. Cy London: at Saar: jrmany; The Intermational News Co. Stephanstrasse E. Alioth, Geneva, Switseriand. (9 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of June are protected by copy- fnght in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. M® TH racy, THACHER increases in popularity the more the people cease to hear from him. LVER MEN frequently call themselves the Jeffersonian Democ- meaning, of course, the Peffersonian, THE QUESTIO: Which tick- et does the New York World support ?” is rather difficult, but we think it does, T MUST be admitted, even by themselves, that Bryan and Wat- son have monopolized most of the conversation, THE MODERN flying-machine mist: its vocation. It seems to think it was made to dig holes in the ground. cee IX CONDEMNING the attitude of Senator Hill the Cincinnati Enguirer wastes time, because the / senator has no attitude. eae THEY CHIDE George Fred Will- iams for losing his temper; but let him keep right on and do the same with his principles. eae THE MAN at the restaurant who talks loudest of business in- terests is generally the one who orders a toothpick and a match. his head. What do you think of that?” AT THE JUDGMENT Mr. Hill will be conspicuous for his efforts to construct a platform which both the sheep and the goats may occupy. THE BRYAN CONFIDENCE omits proof. “It is so for two rea. sons,” says Mr, Bryan, One reason is that I know it is so, and the other is that I know I know it is so.” Q)NE MIGHT suppose that a mausoleum costing half a million dollars would be about as gorgeous as any of the many mansions, and give its occupants the option of remaining or going up. [1S FUNNY to witness John C. Sheehan in the act of reading W. C. Whitney out of the Democratic party. “You or I," said the master to the man, “must leave this house,” “ Very well,” said the man to the master, “when does your honor choose to go?” THE SILVER TRUST is omitted by the Peffercrats in their denunci tion of monopolies, though it proposes to oblige the people, by law, to submit to the most impudent and remorseless rapacity the world knows. And it would not only rob the poor, but it would paralyze the labor through which they might hope for recovery from their pauperism. A RATIONAL LUNATIC. Keerer (of lunatic-asylum)—"And this man imagines he's got wheels in Vistror—** Why, | think he’s more rational than the majority of folks.” A DARK SECRET. WE MUST NOT blame too much those sound-money papers which display the Bryan ticket at the head of their editorial matter, They are few in number and modest in spirit, and don’t want to attract atten- tion. ‘They repudiate their own ideas surreptitiously and don’t wish their support of Mr. Bryan to be known, “ Hist!" say they. “Pray do not mention it.” SECTIONALISM. HE DOCTRINE OF HATE, must not be preached. Dislike of men because they are rich and of sections because they are prosperous is fit for only cheap men, and the voters of this country who are thus afflicted are not of the manly stuff of which voters ought to be made. We have had one war because of that kind of idiocy, Let us have our differences without further encouragement of assassination. TOO INFERNALLY CANDID. THE EDITOR of the Rochester /era/d says Mr. Thacher is a candid man,anyhow. We believe he is. If he were to find a chicken in his hat he would go right to the fowl's owner and tell him it came from his hen-roost. And then he would say that, while he believed in paying fairly for poultry, there were circumstances under which theft might be tolerated in view of more important local questions of a different kind. THE QUICK CONCLUSION, [t IS A FACT. chronicled in a newspaper dispatch from Muncie, Indiana, that Patrick Bilbow, hav- ing swallowed a potato-bug, took paris-green to kill it, and that a physician had hard work to save his life. Mr. Bilbow, it will be ob- served, is one of those rapid logi- cians who consider only one thing atatime. He suffered from a bug; poison kills bugs, and the remedy was clear. And he will vote for the populist ticket beyond a shad- ow of a doubt. AN OUTRAGE ON FREE SPEECH. THE MOST remarkable thing about the meanness of the Yale boys in shutting off Mr. Bryan is the fact that so able a paper as the New York Sun insists that they had a right to do it and that their action was proper. If that kind of protest were to be tolerated there would be no spell: binding. since no audience is wholly of the opinion of the ora- tor to whom it listens—and indeed no use of trying to convert anybody by any kind of vocal argument. VARIOUS KINDS OF ASSASSIN. LET.US HOPE there has been no plot to kill the queen, the prince of Wales, the’ czar and various other foreign potentates; that there has been no union of socialists, communists, fenians, anarchists and nibilists with that end in view, since they would quarrel themselves to death and rob the servant-girls of the world of their last dimes, But if there were such a union it might not be more repulsive and destructive than the pro- tection of the sultan by the potentates while he goes on murdering Chris tians by tens of thousands. THE CRIME OF RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. JUDGE GOGGIN of Chicago is permitted to make that flourishing town ridiculous as well as sinful, and he has more right to be deposed than had the original Dogberry. An elderly gentleman was knocked down by two females, who robbed him, It was on State street, at midnight. “ You look like a Sunday-school teacher,” said Judge Goggin with great severity. “Probably you are a Sunday-school teacher, and have been doing like many others when they want a good time. What business had you out at that hour, is what I'd like to know. Let the prisoners be discharged.” Thus to be a Sunday-school teacher is suspicious, and any respectable man who is out at midnight deserves to be robbed. The wonder is that the gentleman was not sent up for three months and that the females were not given steady employment as typewriters for the same length of time. : | comicbooks.com