Judge — October 17, 1896 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

END-OF-THE-CENTURY ART. Majestic was her mien And nobly beautiful the eyes Beneath her brow serene. But now, in garments Beardsley- esque, She moves at frantic pace, ‘And almost frenzied is the look ‘On her once lovely face. L asked her, ** Where are thy ideals, So dear in other days?” She laughed and cried, “* Ideals be hanged ! T have the poster craze.” ¥. MAREISON. THE PATTERN SUPPLEMENT. SS P)AVIE." asked the teacher as the boy con- cluded an astonishingly accurate descrip- tion of the ocean currents, “ when did you get your geography ?” “This mornin’, ma‘am.” “ And learned since then all you have told us?” “Ob, no, ma‘am; I learned it long ago from the map that comes with mom's fashion paper.” THE COMPLETED JOURNEY. Afiss. Defluster—" Good-mawnin’, Whar yo" gwine, Miss Highflinger?” Miss Highfling bin whar I'm gwine.” WHIST UNDER DIFFICULTIES. Erie —' So your ladies’ whist-club has disbanded ?* Pengtorr—"* Ves. You see, after the third or fourth trick we couldn't remember what were trumps.” Erits—"* Why didn’t you leave the teump-card on the table, then ?” Penetore—** We tried that, but after the third or fourth trick we couldn't remember who it belonged to.” Tain’t gwine nowhar; I JUDGMENTS FROM MR. MCGARVEY. IVE me th’ felly thot kin Hy foight loike a gintleman. ) Revinge is swate, is it? Shure, now, thot depinds an who gits it. Whin Oi hilped me fam’- ly clane house this year Oi wor out av town. It’s a newspaper thot says our great party is want- in’ a Moses t’ lade it. Divil a bit! We wudn't be able ¢ foind his grave at ail. Whin yez hov a loose tooth, me b’y, don’t thry ¢’ droive it in loike a nail. It's no quistions Oi'll answer. Shure, Oi know phwat Oi'm talkin’ about. AVI M, TALMADGE. TWO IN ONE, Mercttant—" What position do you desire in our establishment, sir?” CoLL¥Gx GRaDUATE—"' Oh, something like confidential adviser or Mexcuant—" Good! You may have oth jobs. 1 will make you an office-boy. now.” HIS BUSINESS VENTURE. se JONES has struck acon- genial occupation.” “ What is he do- ing?" “He's the silent partner in a deaf- mute school.” THE BEST OF PROOF. Quericus— “ What reason have you for thinking he is so rich?” Cynicus—" His children object, to his second mar- riage.” COULD USE HIM. Kino oF THE CaNNIBALS—"' He ain't much for eating, but we can have fun pulling his legs for a wish-bone.”” general manager.” THE LOCATION OF IT. *sJAMMA, I's dot a naw- M ful headache.” “I'm so sorry, dear. Shall I get a bandage?” “Es, an’ put it wound my “tomach.” IT IS FOUND AGAIN. Mr, Cumso—" Cawker, does your wife ever lose her tempe Afr, Cawker— Not per- manently.” NOT TOO LATE, Wife— John, if you had told me you didn't have any money with you for church to-day I'd have given you some.” Husband—"* Well, if it’s all the same to you I'll take it ‘A CHINESE GAME OF PAN-TAN, comicbooks.com