Judge — October 17, 1896 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNTTRD STATES/ AND CANADA IM ADVANCE. One copy, one year. or s2 numbers - $5.0 One covy: six months, or 26 numoers - 2.56 One copy. for thirteen weeks = = 1.3 Including the Curistsas Juoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $0.00. year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupce BurLpINc). Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York, arantes advertiters a larger circulation than any other America satiri- We cal faper publi Germany. and ty Ch. sddress—* JuvGRARK.” (8 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of June are protected by copy- foght in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. M® HILL will be known hereafter as Old-man-afraid-of-his-convictions oes T OUGHT to be a maxim that compulsory education means compulsory schools. cee M®: WATSON will fare better if he takes the prevailing emblem and buttons his mouth with it. FRENCH RIVAL of Mr. Bry- an says, for his part, he can make diamonds out of charcoal. ees THE PEOPLE of South Carolina have come to look upon Mr. ‘Tillman as a large and angry boil. eee M® THACHER is an affection- ate man, and his love of noto- riety passeth his own understand- ing. ed IF THERE were a world’s fair now J. B. Thacher would be put on exhibition as its greatest curiosity. oe s*NICKY" is the favorite name of Vicky for the czar, Have these titled personages no respect . UNN for the proprieties? . ‘W HERE DOES Thacher belong? asks the New York Commercial Advertiser, His home is in the setti E 1S A WOMAN who calls herself the female Corbett. seem to us that there is talk enough now. ‘T WILL be seen, from the fact that an Oklahoma Indian has been fined ten dollars for killing two other Indians, that prices are going up. thot blast ‘s goii Hocax— shured yisterda| go of sun, we think. It does soTHE FUTURE,” says Mr. Bryan, of the people by gold.” written in blood ground out Now what is gold going to do that for? ET US SUGGEST that the Spanish government sue the Cuban insur- gents for damages. ‘That is really the only way it can whip the rascals, CASABIANCA, the boy martyr, stood on the burning deck, with mel- ancholy results, He wasn’t responsible for the conflagration, how- ever whereas Mr. Thacher burned the larger portion of the very platform he occupied. THE MAIN object of the Buffalo convention, according to the Brooklyn /e, “was to preserve an unbroken line of organic regularity by concerted infidelity to every moral obligation in politics.” That hits every one of those Buffalo statesmen precisely on his miserable head. ARY CAUTION. Ross—"' Ili, dere, yez loony Turk! Git a gait on yez! Don't yez know ¢ yuresilf no consarn, A SPANISH LIBERATOR? HE WOES of Spain are the Carlists’ opportunity. Let Don Carlos assert himself against the power at Madrid and he may give liberty to Cuba and the Philippines. Then he ought to become known as a great liberator, and then, if he is worthy of the title, he will kindly die. THEY WHO HOOKED THE WIGWAM. HE TALK of Mr. Bryan and Mr. Shechan of Tammany hall about Democratic traitors is really not fair. The successful burglars who carried off a house were courteous enough to let its occupants escape through the windows. There are brigands who carry off men as well as money; but in politics it isn’t supposed to be proper to kill individuals or hold them for ransom, HASTE, MB: NEWMAN of West Virginia married a cousin of bis dead wife at the funeral of the latter, and the two joined the procession to the grave arm in arm. There was economy in this haste as to both time and money. It probably didn’t cost as much for the minister, and the friends of the parties had both a funeral and a wedding at the expense of one ceremony. While the proprieties were shocked, what is propriety among friends? GO TO! HE EFFORT to show that the bicycle is immoral revives the propo- sition that immofality is the result of bad persons rather than bad vehicles or a bad anything else. ‘There are bad church-members; where- fore shall we abolish the church? There is immorality in some schools; must we therefore abolish educa- tion? And there are women who ache for notoriety; must we there fore abolish Charlotte Smith and all the other women? JANUS B. THACHER. M*- THACHER, as a sound- money man on a free-silver platform, felt keenly the idiocy of his position, and proposed therefore to drop the main question and run solely on state issues, Asked a question in mathematics, a thought- ful student made the reply, “I'm not much on figures, but I'm blazes on Greek roots. Let me give you in- formation about them.” And it must be admitted that, while Mr. Thacher eschews the money busi- ness. he’s all right on the slavery question. THE FUNNIEST OF ALL FARCE. THE FREE-SILVER MEN of this state bristled with mingled disgust and indignation over the repudiation of their pet finance by their nominee for governor. The sound-money Democrats were cqually disgusted, but they smiled in their several sleeves over the trick played by Mr. Hill on the Buffalo convention. ‘As to the rest of the people, and students of politics everywhere, there are both amazement and a general recognition of the fact that Mr. Thacher is a laughing-stock for the whole world. THE GREAT ASSASSIN. HE CZAR is afraid of nihilists, fenians and anarchists. unes to pay for his movements from point to point. atmosphere of force and fear. Oi wor afther hovin’ me loife in- It costs forte He lives in an It is but one life, and its possessor ought to be in sympathy with the Christians who are in continual fear of the Tu : nothing of the tens of thousands of Christians whom the Turk has assassinated. He has but to lift his finger to bring relief to the surviving Christians, and as he refuses to do so he is the great assassin, to s: POPOCRATIC ABSURDITY. ONLY POPULIST NEWSPAPERS give a hearty support to Bryan, and they prefer Watson to Sewall.- Of the three or four newspapers of this state Ahat support Bryan, with a single exception, there is not one that has a word of commendation for the man or his platform. Their support consists wholly, with the exception of the printing of the ticket, of silence or apology. And what shall be said of newspapers that swal- low their convictions in behalf of the contemptible thing called regularity ? . . { comicbooks.co!