Judge — September 26, 1896 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

196 wHiage bosom of society, as the colonel intends to call upon the editor this afternoon and make him eat it.” Bidding the lad wait a moment, the editor grasped his pen in his good right hand and wrote the following terse and conclusive reply : “The editor of the Bazoo begs to acknowledge receipt of Col- onel Rawhide’s appreciated favor of this date, and requests that the colonel will, if he can do so without serious inconvenience to himself, make his call upon the editor after two o'clock this afternoon and be- fore five o'clock, as the editor confidently expects to be engaged ina shooting-affray with a prominent advertiser at about one or half-past one o'clock, and has an engagement to lecture before the young men’s Christian association to-night. The colonel will also greatly oblige the editor by informing the undertaker and coroner of his intention before starting for this office.” ou F. woRcAn, AN ACCOMMODATING SISTER. by B. J. Falk. + 6QIS, lend me your sweater,” said a Boston boy to his sister, jeaeee GRIPES “1 will lend you my perspirer, Charles,” replied the gentle girl. snag aruanine me WANTED TO BE EXACT. in depths of pensive eyes, z vou What wletlel fancies shine? ; Judge—“ Then you plead guilty to robbing the house by day- stout pianly you read mine: light 2” The praise of all'on you who took Prisoner—* No, yer boner; by skylight.” WAIL. EVES go down, my sleeves go down ! \ i ~ Hi is not that leaves are turning brown ij } \ (Ai y } ; ‘That Tam sad at heart,” quo’ she ; * But that the sleeves of my new gown So small, so very small, should be.” MeL Ae OCCIDENTAL JOURNALISM. HAVING finished indiving an edifying account of the lynching of a superfluous Chinaman which had occurred immediately after the greased - pig chase at the recent Sunday-school picnic, the able editor of the Rocket City Hazoo rested from his literary labors and began bathing with liniment his left leg. which had pained him more or less ever since the surgeon had dug out a small batch of slugs which had been shot into it some weeks be- fore by an infuriated presiding elder. While the scribe was yet engaged in this praise- worthy operation a small boy appeared with a note, which the editor found, upon examination, to be couched in the following succinct language: “Colonel Rawhide’s compliments to the editor of the Bazoo, and hopes he has on file a copy of the . wo A. DUBIOUS ISSUE. last issue of his vile sheet, in which he stigmatized FitmAst "Mandy; ‘I've: bln coortia’ yew nsow: goin on fourteen years: day?" the colonel as a putrid, pestilential abscess in the ‘ManDy (with a sigh\—"* Yes, Hiram—ef I live so jong." Will yew marry me some Z2=yw, Up A STILL ROOM. Gvest—"* Vou said you would give me a still room—and I haven't been able to sleep a wink all night.” CLERK—" Very strange, sir. Perhaps it was noise that kept you awake. The room is perfectly stationary.” . | comicbooks.com