Judge, 1896-08-08 · page 7 of 16
Judge — August 8, 1896 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains sentimental verse and four separate humorous vignettes rather than political cartoons. **"Apple-Pies"** is nostalgic poetry celebrating homemade apple pie as a metaphor for romantic love and domestic contentment. The narrator reflects on how his mother's pie-baking attracted suitors, and how he and his wife have grown together over time—their passion transformed into deeper companionship. The four cartoon jokes below are lighthearted social satire: 1. **"An Appropriate Quotation"**: A young man earnestly discusses having "faith in simple things," unaware he's being mocked with Shakespeare's "To thine own self be true"—implying his simplistic philosophy needs sophistication. 2. **"He Missed It"**: An early-riser criticizes a night-owl for missing sunrise; the owl retorts that staying up late is more cultured than waking early. 3. **"Bad Language"**: An Irish woman defends her husband's lack of swearing as evidence of virtue. 4. **"Willing to Smile"**: A beggar cleverly suggests sharing a bottle of alcohol as payment for begging, implying the wealthy woman is a drinker. The humor relies on class dynamics and character stereotypes common to the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
APPLE- PIES. Stay me with flagons, comfort me with apples." —Cawricias 11, 5. . NLY a sprinkle of spice, my dear, just a flavor vi of spice, But lots an’ slathers of butter, yeller an’ sweet an’ nice, An’ any kind so it's apple, apple ‘at's cored an’ sliced An’ covered with tree molasses three times a day or twiced ; Flaky like gran’ma made ‘em in dozens o' different ways— Turn-over, cross-bar an’ open, way back in the airly days When in through the kitchen winder Love an’ the butterflies Lost their wits at the smell of the spice in her apple-ples. Story? ther ain't none, daughter, only the sweet old song ‘That'll make the whole world love you if you don’t sing it wrong. Your mother sung it sweeter 'n a warblin’ blue-bird might, When she.'s your age—say twenty—blue eyes, com- plected light, ‘An’ hair like home-made candy tied in a golden twist, With lips like a baby girl's ‘at's always a bein’ kissed, An’ Love flew out an’ stung her as she plucked him in disguise Out of the tree molasses an’ spice in her apple-pies. That old. old story, daughter—an’ mother ‘Il tell you lon Is sweeter ‘n when it happened ever so long ago ; We've growed so close together, like buds on an apple spray, We're fonder of one another, but not in the same old way, Then we was young an’ chipper, an’ acted like sweet- hearts do, But there was a lovers’ heaven we sweethearts never knew, An’ Love flew out of it, daughter, with the bees an’ butterflies An’ let us in at the smell of the spice in her apple-pies. DWI &. WOPEINS. AN APPROPRIATE QUOTATION. Younc Mr, Tutter—"* Ves, Miss Daisy ; I believe in having faith in simple things.” Miss Datsy—‘* You are quite right, Mr. Tutter; which reminds me of that quotation of Shake: speare’s." Mr, Turter—" Er—what is that? I don’t recall it.” Miss Daisy—*** To thine own self be true.’ HE MISSED IT, ss] SUPPOSE you did not see the lovely sunrise this morning.” said Mr Early- bird to Mr. Nightowl, “Of course not,” was the latter’s reply in a rebuking tone, “1 was abed long before that. You should cultivate better hours, sir.” BAD LANGUAGE. WILLING TO SMILE, Mns O'Roonny—" She said thot me mon uses bad grammar, did Beccar—"* Could yer spare me a dime?” she? Th’ loyin’ hussie! Me hasn't shwore wan single oath fer = Mrs, Wettment— Do you drink” 3 month." Beccar—" I don’t mind, old girl, if yer've got a bottle wid yer. comicbooks.com