Judge — August 8, 1896 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE REVERSES OF LIFE. “All things come to him who waits” (on table) 1 [ WENT down to Saratoga in the merry month of June With a pocketful of money and my happy heart in tune, But an impecunious darkey on my spirits seemed to jar, Who as second class was riding in the stuffy smoking-car, So I flung him a “Habana” with a friendly little toss, And he whispered as he took it, ** Twill see you later, bass.” I went homeward in September and 1 didn’t feel so gay. ** Tescaped with all my baggage,” as the fire reporters say, In my pocket that tired feeling” that a \ — hotel-clerk can bring, When beside me stood this vision, and I heard it whispering, * Mistah Smif of Philadelfy, you's fawgotten me, I see; F We went down in June togedder, now phaps youll smoke wid me.” \\ ALT. WORDEN, AT JERRY DOOLEY’S WAKE. Mr. Doyle — "Nh, Mishus Doole sorry Oi wor t" hear av yer b'ravemint. Mrs Dooley —“Oh, wirra! wirra! It’s nivur th’ bether av it Oi'll iver be. He wor th’ proide av me heart, wor me Jurry. An‘ th’ gud heart av th’ crathur! Shure, whia Oi'd gov th’ darlint a quarther he'd be afther bringin’ over Mishus Donnelly’s bhy Moikey, an’ dhere dhey'd sit a rooshin’ th’ growler, an’ faith wedn’t th’ choild, innecint loike, save adhrop tur his poor ould muther uvry toime ? An’, poor sowl, how cud Oi rayfoose ‘im whin he'd ax me fur anither quarther? Oh, Mis- ther D’yle! th’ loight av me loife ‘s extun- gushed!" Mr. D thrue fur ye. Mrs. Dooley — An’ savin’ av throuble! Aisy t' kape ez a babby. Whoy, whin Rour- icks, ferninst th’ carner, did be hovin’ his op'nin’, Jurry did be gittin’ home koind o' late loike. An’ d'ye think he'd be afther wal th’ bit av it, Misther D yle, Oi found ‘ ma‘am: ¢—" Tis thrue fur ye, DRAWING ON TH! OLD MAN, his poor ould muther? Nivur 1 in th’ marnin’, shlapin’ innecint ez a infant, an th’ Lindi’ beblow, An’ sez Oi, * Phwat ails ye, choild ? An’ sez he, ‘Oi didn’t loike t' wake ye, muther.’ Now, luk at thot far a faints) * ‘eae IN A SANITARIUM, *Whar's youah son Mose now?" Takin’ de gold cure.” At White Flains—for drunkenness? No; at Sing Sing—for swipin’ gold watches.” Mrs, Jackson — Mrs, Jounson — bhy. Oh, me heart is shatthered! O/'ll nivur be cumforthed agin !" Mr. Doyle—" Cushla! don't be takin’ an th’ loi ith, we hov all t’ go, Mishus Dooley, whin our toime cums, an’ if our toime nivur cums we'll be goin’ jusht th’ same. Shure, ‘tis an onhealt'y winther we do be hovin’, Bechune inflooenzy an’ peumoney an’ diptheery, it’s small chance we do be hov- all, at all. Shure, dhere’s pay- ple a-doyin’ now phwat nivur doied befoor. Yis, an’ th’ shtrate-kyars an’ heart disase an’ fallin’ aff hoigh buldin's! Faith, it’s Uankful “ye sh'd be thot it’s dead an’ not kilt he is.” EDWARD CLAYTON SAVAGE. A LITTLE TOO FAST. ++] OOK here, sir,” said the irate customer to the dry-goods clerk, you sold me this piece of goods warranted a fast color. It was green when I bought it, and now it has turned to a sickly blue in less than two weeks.” “Well, madam,” expostulated the clerk, “you could hardly'expect a color to go faster than that." Pat's overalls, WE VENTURE TIE AROVE SUGGESTION AS ANOTHER The busted gambler. For the poor British workman, Rear end of a loyal veteran. A design for the bicycle fiend. STEP IN THE ADVANCEMENT OF HOUSEHOLD ECONOMY. Sud count old ag delicat almost mome tomed New ori It yo write t from a that i “Ww ®@ awmera 2 eer Th of / - j comicbooks.¢dm