Judge — August 1, 1896 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNETRD STATRS AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. ‘One copy, one year. or s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, of 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy. for thirteen weeks = = 1.35 : Incliding the Cumisrwas Jupce. FOREIGN SUBSCKIPTIONS—To all foreitm countries in the postal union, $0.00.a year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupcr BuiLiNc), Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. FR We guarantee advertiters a larger circ than any other American satiri- Quawranty are all for sale at Brentane's, - Ainsice & Co.,25 Newcastle itreet, Strand, Londen ; Breams Building. Chancery Lane, E. C. Londo g mal News Con, Stephanstrasse 18, Leipsic, Germ Cable address (7 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copy- fight in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be prompily and vigorously prosecuted, cul BITING SARCASM of candidate formally notified of his nomination This is so sudden !* AIN of silver convention—* Let us bray.” I" IS THOUGHT by good judges that Mr. Corbett will belasco Mr. Sharkey in twen- ty minutes. eee NE PURPOSE of the silver men is to make honesty in business a crime pun- ishable by bom). A UNION of sound-money men against the pirates of silver is as inevitable as the day of judgment. TILLMAN claims to have a little common sense, Possibly; but he values it too highly to put it on exhibition. QE DEMONSTRATION of the sixteen- to-one theory is the payment of a six- teen-dollar debt with a one-dollar bill. THE OLD EXPERIMENT at Chicago— two train: going in opposite directions, trying to pass each other on the same track, cee ZR earnestly opposes fusions be- tween populists and Democrats; and we must say they are awfully tough on both or- ganizations, Unc! WENTY-SIX Kansas women propose to write a composite novel, and the discus- sion over the piot has already been heard in that number of counties. WEEKS AFTER the silver men had buried Mr. Clevéland the New York Sun implored that gentleman to decline a third term. ‘That was body-snatching with the sole purpose of abusing the corpse. JOHN MOST claimed a personal acquaintance with Altgeld, and imme- diately word came by authority from Altgeld that he never met “the dirty fellow.” ‘The words are proof that he knows something about him, anyhow, oM GLISH SAILORS on the Vanderbilt yacht discharged them- selves on the fourth of July because they were not allowed to go ashore to celebrate the day. Yet they say there is not a growing affer- tion between England and the United States. THE GOVERNMENT of Hawaii indorses Mark Twain's idea of the thumb-mark, for purposes of identification, by obliging signers of registration papers to put that mark on the documents. We are therefore almost persuaded to say that there is thumbthing in it Tever seed, but heré goes jes’ ther samie. ABILITY NO CRIME. THE BUSINESS HONORS conferred upon Mr. Hobart are not dis- honors. Oh, no. Spouters against monopolies mustn't talk such foolishness as that. It is really not discreditable to have business ability sufficient to be a representative of large business interests. BRIMSTONE. HE TALK of a brimstone trust is founded on a good deal of fact. It probably originated at Chicago, where the supply of the stuff didn’t begin to equal the demand. There must be a larger output and it must be under the control of the Democratic-populistic-anarchistic crowd, which is greatly given to its use on all ordinary occasions and must have it in vast quantities as the campaign goes on, The comparative monopoly of brimstone by that warm place over there has gone far enough. THE MISTAKE OF HILL’S LIFE, DAv!D. B. HILL might have had the Syracuse nomination for governor in 1882, but lacked the nerve to ask for more than the second place. Nobody knew the Buffalo mayor outside of Buffalo, and his nomination was due to a fortuitous situation as to the creation of which he had noth- ing to do. He went home without expectations before the convention closed. Had Hill pushed himself he would have been the governor, and his subsequent career might have been as brilliant as that of the man from Buffalo. THE PASSING OF THE BOOGIE-MAN. THE THIRD-TERM BUSINESS will not agitate the country again, Mr. Cleveland was hardly thought of at Chicago after his picture had been hastily removed from the New York headquarters. He was as politically dead as if he had never been born. Possibly under different circumstances he might have been remembered, but in no event could he have been renominated. That kind of fool- ishness has passed on, and the people who have been alarmed about it may hereafter possess their timid souls in peace. SOME SILVER SOCIALISTS. THE DOMINEERING SPIRIT of the advocates of {ree coinage is occasionally too coarse to call it merely earnestness. “Gov: ernor Waite talked of bloody bridles, and Pennoyer and Tillman have taken much pride in insulting the president. - Stewart talks of, secession; and here is“ Jim "Belford, further known as “the red-headed rooster. of the Rockies,” who wants to-be one of twelve men to hang Mr. Whitney. Think of this new army of voters with:Altgeld and Tillman at their head and pray for a resumption of decency in politics. THE LATER BRUTUS. DON M. DICKINSON said while at Chi- ee cago that he was proud to serve under David B, Hill’s “ great leadership.” “It is a comfort and an inspiration,” he said, “to have such a masterful and forceful leader.” “Mr: Cleve- land,” he added, “has had good workers in conventions, and it is a pleas- ure to see them here acting as Mr. Hill's trusted lieutenants and glorying in his magnificent leadership.” This was about the only remembrance of Cleveland at the Chicago calamity, and it must have made the poor. man shed tears in his loneliness at Buzzard’s bay. WHY SHAME OVER INNOCENT FACTS? HE TENDENCY to ignore facts in behalf of gentility becomes vexa- tious. Some years since our colored brethren objected to the word “colored” in printing their names, and later there,was an outcry by the Hebrew against the use of “Jew or “Hebrew” in printed allusions to him. Now the girls of Vassar college cry out against the word “female,” and declare that it must disappear from the walls and the note-paper of that establishment. In the latter. case the word seems objectionable because of some of its associations; but really this kind of sensitiveness is unrea- sonable and reflects no credit on any of the parties who submit to it. Something is due to economy in the use of explanatory words; and again, as the gentleman from Germany occasionally inquires, “Vas id nodt 20?" comicbooks.com