Judge — August 1, 1896 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

74 wudge A BRAND-NEW FACT. IDING up Lake George and enjoying the hazy blue of the hills, we are called down by the voice of the Eng- lishman with excelsior whiskers and reverberating suit. “Beg pawdon, but these little buhds 1 heard at me-inn lawst night, these whip-poor-wills, are they con mon?” The hardware drummer with the russet shoes flicked off a fly's wing with his handkerchief and replied, “Them ‘ere birds are. strictly confined where J. Fenimore Cooper put ‘em in his books, “Last of the NS Mohicans’ and * Deerslayer.’ The legislatoor attends to that. We may not be much on style, but we go in fur the eternal fitness of things.” “Bah Jove! upawn me soul,” said the traveler. “Fact; can you lend mea match?” And he sauntered away and the Horicon plowed her way up the lake and did not sink, though she had on board the biggest liar of the Utica traveling men’s association, GOT HIS CHARACTER. Mill. boss (to applicant for work) —" We take no one in here without good reference. Have you got one?’ Pat—"Is ita carrackty in writ- in’ yez mane? Thin Oi hoven't, shure.” Mill-boss —"* Well, you'll have to find one before we take you here.” Pat—" All roight, boss. May Oi lave me bundle an’ baskit whoile 0} go beatin’ wan?” Mill-boss —"" Yes; but hurry. Sha‘n’t keep the place if any one else offers.” Pat (returning in course of an hour with excited grin on his face)— “Shure, sor, Oi got th’ carrackty all roight.” Milloboss— Well, hand it out.” Pat (hurriedly gathering up bundle and basket and starting for the door)—“' Faith, it was yure own carrackty Oi found, sor, an’ glad Oi am U foind me things here an’ git out wid ‘em.” SAVED, Frowexy Fietps Faxaer Jones — Flowery Fi POKER IN THE CANNIBAL ISL “Going in” and making it a ‘* Jack-pot. AN EXPOSURE Mus, Mucuamony (to Cholly Sateen, who is posing as a millionaire at summer resort) — at the office for me “Ts dere any demand fer farm laborers between here an’ Squedunk ?* Naw ; [reckon th’ farmers hev hired all th’ help they need by this time.” ELDS (shaking his partner)—" Wake up, Weary! We've struck de right road at last.” tr, Sateen, will you kindly have this bill changed SATEEN ( forgets himself )—"* Certainly, ma'am, Anything A FAIR EXCHANGE, 1S heart a maiden robbed him of ; So he, in sorest grief, Brought action in the court of Love To prosecute the thief. And angels twelve, nor less nor more Were summoned, heavenly dears, For she was to be tried before A jury of her peers. ‘The case was called ; and it was proved, Ere many words were said, When she the plaintiffs heart removed She left her own instead. Not guilty !" thus the verdict stands ; “A fair exchange he got.” Judge Love, agreeing, joined their hands ‘And wed them on the spot. GRORGR minDsnyR. SCRIPTURE TEXTS FOR BASE-BALL. WHERE are the nine?— LUKE x 17. and without. Now the men did diligently observe whether anything would come from him, and did catch itl. Kini And gave judgment upon him.—II. KINGs xxv., 6, Bring these men home.— GENESIS xliii,, 16. They shall run like mighty men.—JOEL ii, 7. And ‘one went out into the field.—II. KINGs iv., 39. Let us go forth into the field. —SOLOMON’S SONG vii. 11. I caught you with guile— TI. CORINTHIANS xii., 16. And they said one to an- other, Let us make a captain.— NUMBERS xiv., 4. comicbooks.co