Judge, 1896-06-27 · page 10 of 17
Judge — June 27, 1896 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains several short humorous pieces mocking contemporary speech and social customs, likely from the early 1900s. The main pieces include parodies of affected or malapropistic dialogue from working-class characters named "Margie" and "Davie," who mangle English expressions ("biowed" for "blew," "barefooted" for "bareheaded"). These mock immigrant or lower-class speech patterns common in period humor. A section titled "Why They Voted for a Field-Captain" shows baseball players arguing over a fly ball—satirizing workplace disputes or democratic voting absurdities. Another piece ridicules Mrs. Cawker's objection to modern slang ("glad hand," "marble heart") while her husband points out old phrases are equally clichéd—commentary on pretentious social standards. The final joke conflates glue with poorly-made biscuits, suggesting bad food quality. The decorative illustrations and archaic language parody ("Ye Vesper song") add comedic flavor. Overall, the page targets lower-class dialect humor and social pretension typical of period American satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
VIRES ACQUIRIT EUNDO. E VESPER song hadde longe been sunge When Ladye Maude with speede Rode downe ye avenve and flung Herself from off her steede. “Sir Bedivere has sought his couch ; Much care his soul hath tried.” Ye servant thus ; ye Ladye Maude Looked at her limbs and sighed. * [meant to aske Sir Bedivere This pair of —er—garbs about— How men coulde hang them oer a chair, From prince to peasant lout, Without their pockets kicking there A“ FOUR-IN-HAND” TIE, And small change sliding oute 7° One much worn by the theatrical fraternity, | She rolled ye bloomers in a ball Withe strings ye forme toe keepe, Thenne turned ye bath-tub over all And calmly wente toe sleepe. AT, WORDEN, HER INFERENCE. + DOoPNe exclaimed Margie, looking at a fungus growth on a tree; “I dess zat twee's woots thucked up thomethin’ w'ong.” COBBLE-STONES. *+/M[¥ DOODNESS!” Itwas Margie who spoke. She was looking over the side of the carriage at the surface of the WHY THEY VOTED FOR A FIELD-CAPTAIN, street. “1 s'ould sink when it Mr, JOnNSON ( centre-fielder, running backward )—* Dat's mah fly.” i istui Mr. Lasso (right-field, ditto)—" Dat's mah fly Wained ‘seze: bistalts would det MR. JACKSON (left-field, ditt)" Dat s mah— (bang!) — all mushed up.” HER EXPERIENCE. 4 **AQY HAT biowed off,” i} said Margie in relat: ing a recent experience, “ an’ I tomed tlear home wiz my head barefooted.” THERE ARE OTHERS. i sy DON°T like such ex- pressions as ‘ the glad | hand,’ ‘the marble heart, and the like,” said Mrs Caw-. ker to her husband, “ Well,” replied Mr. C: ker, “wherein do they differ from such time-honored phrases as ‘the cold shoul- der,’ ‘the hot tongue,’ and ‘the stony stare’?” A NEEDED INVENTION. [ WISH the electric scientists Would go just one step higher And fix it so the message-boys Could be dispatched by wire. WE HAVE ALL EATEN THEM. - - SeP)AVIE, is glue used just for sticking things?" asked Edith. Davie, the wise, meditated a moment, * Nope,” he replied finally; “some folks puts it in biscuits.” comicbooks.com {