Judge — June 6, 1896 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

388 Suape A KINDLY SUGGESTION. +s LTEL-L-O1" yelled old man Ding- ley as Miss Luce Bloomer went down the opposite side of the street on her bicycle. “ Well, what is it?” asked she as she gracefully stepped off her machine at his side, ce, I was in the army— in the cavalry, y’ know—an’ when I see them bloomers I thought I'd tell you about our cavalry pants; y" see they hed two thicknesses of cloth in the se——" “ Sir!” screamed Miss Bloomer. “Yas,"" went on old man Dingley, “they wuz what y’ call re-enforced in the se - You are‘an old brute!" she said as she mounted her machine and wheeled away. “ Waval, that’s where the wear comes on a saddle, She's too darned pertic'ler.” And he went back into the house. A. D, 2000. TWAS the moming of May thirtieth. “And what,” asked Menelek 1V. of Abyssinia, who was on a tour through the United States, pre what are these costly monuments which decorate all your cemeteries ?” “These,” said the guide, baring his head, “are erected above the graves of the noble athletes who have, on previous May thirtieths, sacri- ficed their lives at foot-ball, bicycle-racing, the hundred-yard dash and similar conflicts, A long line of noble, intrepid and self-sacrificing youths !” “And what,” asked the king, “is the meaning of this great procession bearing flowers and marching to funeral dirges ?” “These are they who go to the cemeteries,” replied the guide, “to - decorate the graves of the fallen and to listen to orations in their honor. The forenoon of this day is set apart for such solemn service. “Itis a sad holiday, the king. “ Yes—or half of it! But in the afternoon our great country is di- verted by its athletic sports.” “And how long has Memorial day existed 2” “As a nation we forget.its ori- \ gin,” answered the guide, “It first became important as a convenient EVIDENTLY AWAY. oT —"* Hullo, Jack! how do you do?" “1 (hie) do as T (hic) blame please, thank you." * L see—when does your wife get back 2" MAY THIRTIETH A FEAG and a fading wreath Are out in the falling rain ; The stars and the withered buds ‘Tom Tort Jack Pius Tom Torexor May never be fresh again. observed Rut the memory wreath of the brave We twine of immortal bay Is green in the nation’s heart And never shall fade away, NOT PRACTICABLE, Miss New York — "We fairly made my blood boit !" Miss yston—" You are evi- vious to attending the ceremonies of his son's graduation at Yale,‘ and’ dently not cognizant of the fact that after continued physiological re- searches it has been ascertained that human existence cannot be main- tained subsequent to the blood’s having acquired the temperature of one hundred and fourteen degrees.” R lucky! Here's a pile of sand that some kid has made which will do great fer a pillow, — THE PROFESSOR’S MISTAKE. Purexorocisr—"* Um — were your ancestors eccentric?” Vistvox—"* No, but my wife is. Examine the smad/ bumps, please.” AN UNFORTUNATE MISTAKE. —Well—say 1" \ day for athletic events. And when these events had given us a list of illustrious dead we came to devote a part of it to the perpetuation of the memory of their deeds. The king, visibly impressed, commanded his Italian slave to hand him his diary that he might make a note of the day and its uses. (However, it might have been more comfortable had it not proved fo be an ant-hill !) ‘The n floor” of careful t into the There no Ange except A “ Excel Y ty w as be N 1 al w comicbooks.com