Judge — May 9, 1896 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wuage 315 REVEREND MOAKLEY MCKOON HEARS OF THE X RAYS. WHEN the Reverend McKoon came into the yard of the Zion philharmonic church, last Tuesday, to attend the annual meeting, he knocked the ashes from his pipe and asked,“ How many ob yo’ has heered erbout Robberson’s X rays?” “I doan’ fink yo" got dat ar name right,” said Deacon Felshaw. “M11 got five dollahs fo’ de niggah dat will -Spetl dat name an’ pernounce it fo’ dis crowd,” said the elder. No one stirred or spoke. * Den Robberson goes,” he continued. “ Now ‘all on yo’ dat has heered ob dem rays an’ seen de-picters hol’ up yo" han’s.”” A dozen hands went up and he said, “ Dem X rays will shine froo a stone wall or a pile ob cord-wood. Dey would eben shine froo dat niggah’s haid dat sets dar on de front seat sleepin’ an’ snorin’ away Tike a ten-hoss frashin’- masheen.” (Sensation) “ We orter open dis meetin’ wid a sled-stake instid ob pra’r; an’ speakin’ ob dem X rays, I would like toe send a few ob dem froo dis crowd an’ see de dollahs an’ scads in’ yo" pockets, while dis: room needs toe be fricaseed an’ a red dodo run roun’ de bottout. Jes’ ‘jiembah dem picters in de papahs ob de whole phlebotomy ob:.man wisible'froo de flesh an’ den open dis meetin’ undah de haig ob de good ob’de ordah.”. ALT. woRDEN THE SPRING ARTIST. THE SMALL: BOY. THE jocund spring-time always glads F ACH spring we Gnd him rathier dense, This fiend with tangle locks, For, though he is acquainted Who letters sarsaparilla ads, With such things; he'sits on the fence Upon the wayside rocks, And finds it newly painted. FERTILE IN EXPEDIENTS., Giles —" Tom used to be quite a chicken-fancier in ais. way. Since he took that house in the suburbs | suppose he has put in a fine variety.”’ A DESPERATE RUN. & OWERY Firtps—** Lord, Bill! t-talk about yer n-narrer escapes! I jes bi Merritt —" He intended to keep chickens, but the place was so.swampy he thought it better to invest in ducks.” A SECURE ANCHORAGE. Jonsina had fo" yo' dun gone an’ tie yo’ dog on yo" laig PeTans—'* ‘Cause de dog-ketchah am roun’, an" when I hab him tied toe —dat's why.” mah laig I knows whar he am—d-d-d-d—