Judge — May 2, 1896 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

298 uae Our new flat 's very nice; there’s a deaf old gent’man lives across th’ hall, Every time anybody knocks at our door he opens his door an’ says, “Huh?” way up in his head. He wears a black silk cap an’ a shawl an’ white cotton gloves in th’ house; an’ Bob says he's crushed on ma, George says he’s in luck not t’ have t’ hear my pianna- playin’, I says t’ George, “I don’t have t' hire folks t” listen t’ me anyway, like you do when you're out with th’ boys— have t' set up th’ drinks every time you want t' sing a song. An’ there ’s lots o° places where I'm invited jest on ac- count of my playii “Yes,” he says, “ for Rees for tat Gomi CORRECT. Motier—"' No, Bobby ; money doesn't make folks happy— but I'll tell you what oes.” Bonsy—"' I know, ma; it’s the stuff what you get with it.” MISS MARY ELLEN EASTSIDE AND THE MOVING. MOVED last week. Nothing funny happened like always does in the papers, only ma will per- sist in puttin’ up preserves, an’ they had to all be car- ried by hand, an’ some of last year's grapes had worked an’ run all over Tommy, an’ some of the sweet pickles exploded. q We hadn't any partic'lar reason for movin’, on'y we got three weeks’ rent free, an’ my bedroom is lighter, an’ we got tired of fightin’ our neighbors’ roaches, an* ‘Tommy was gittin’ too chummy with the janitor; use t' run the dumb-waiter for him till he got so tired ma couldn't git him t' go an errand, an’ ma found out ‘t his wife had been sendin’ th’ kid for beer. When I went back after my flower-pots the old jade said ‘t 1 wasn't no lady. If t hadn't been for George 'd a let. LATEST APPLICATION TO THE her know whether I was or not by smashin" one o them NEW TERM flower-pots on th’ front of her head, An “X" raise, HE SHOWED HIM. Pat—" Will yez show me th’ way ter th’ portrait-painther's studio?” Rap noyv—" Cert! -— Asa troubles and for 1 BOKER There’ understa: Call, Mrs. \ dren Tee gums, all thea. 2 P i owe ing.”"— + Exc and itct cal Repc A DEAD LOSS. “Ht le Hockneimer—"* Vat you gry for, Cohn?” Coun —"* Leetle Tkey vent mit his mutter ver a holiday on der free ferry, undt vell overpoardt undt vas trowned !" Hockneimer—“ Vell, he vas insuret.” Conn—"* Dot vas some gonsolations ; put loog at dem glothes I lend him fer de tay oudt of de store vindow! Holy Abram! dot vas four tollars tead loss,”” dancin’; an’ more ‘n half o’ that is so some o’ th’ other girls can git a chance oncet in a while t’ dance with me.” : “There you go again!" | says—“ throwin’ boquets pres to yerself Better : Bob's widder come over an’ helped settle th’ new flat, an’ certainly she has got exquisite taste; but I nm never saw anybody act as befoozled as Bob does shines li over her in all my born days! Never! She was up youcan top of th’ step-ladder, fixin’ th’ porchers, an’ somethin’ sprung th’ ladder an’ tilted her off. Bob caught her, an’ she wasn't hurt a bit; but you would have thought, to have seen him holdin’ her an’ fannin’ her an’ sendin’ us all runnin’ for camphor an’ every fool thing he could think of, that she was at her last gasp. She faints very pretty. So could 1 if I had a little more practice. But I couldn't never spring it on George. He's too foxy. MADELINE ORViS. THE UNIVERSAL TOOL, Will the coming woman carry a latch-key?” oe Port Not until she discards hair-pins.” ares tC A.DAUBER ANIMAL PAINTER: ianc ‘Wareroom Caution. ind the Sor funding name HES <a —here it is.” | bownre SURBR comicbooks.com