Judge — April 18, 1896 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNTTRD STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year. or sz numbers - $5.0 One covy: six months, of 26 numbers - 2.50 ‘One copy. for thirteen weeks = = 1.25 : Including the Cunteratas Juncr, FORKIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all forcien countries in tht postal union, $0.00 a year, THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JupcR Burtpinc). Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. $Me cuarantee advertisers a larger cir cal paper published. The Jove any and Juvae’s Quaxtenty are all for sale at Brentano s, ap Avenwe de Oper. nas Newcastle itreet, Strand, London ; The [ntermational News Co.. Breams Building. Chancery Lane, mdom: at Saar: Mains, Germany: The International News Co Stephanstri E. Alioth, Geneva, Switseriand. tion than any other American satiré- Cable address F97 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS. —The contents of Juvar are provected by copy- mbt in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copynght will be promptly and rigorously prosecuted. THE BEST woman's edition is a little one of the same kind. ANYHOW. the friends of McKinley won belligerent rights in Mr. Platt’s state convention, MB: JUDGE. teader of theosophists, has the habit of death, and he recently did i it THE ONLY mean thing that Mark Twain ever does is to get sick enough se apprehension regarding his own to life, JOHN BULL is so amiable over the Venezuela business that we shall have nt to keep him from hugging us to death, MAN has refused an estate in Bridge- port, Connecticut, worth fifty thou- sand dollars. He lives in the woods and We guess ne is. L!QUOR-SELLING under the new law in this state is n aristocratic pri jerate_ means can lege afford the expense. No man of me A SPANISH OFFICER is said to be looking up our fortifications. If he finds some of them we do hope he will UNCLE ABNER (Jouched )— tell our government about it. thet boy fer work. MB: BAYARD says he believes in saying what he thinks, Well, now, if everybody did that we should all of us be in a never-ending row. THE SOBER second thought of our congress with regard to Cuba is the calm indifference that lazily permits a long war and countess murders. A BOSTON WOMAN wants twenty thousand dollars as damages from aman who kissed her; but in our judgment the poor chap has been punished enough Te cz: KAISER’S HONOR to Krueger was hasty fippanc in honorin: ny 3 but the fight if that is to Menelek means impudenc be the consequence Try GIRLS of Wellesley want to forego butter for a month, They say they propose to use the money thus saved for charitable pur- poses, but in our opinion the to the bread-and-butter period. want to escape the charge that they belong oe LIKE American girls,” says an Englishman, “because on being introduced they never give a man the impression that they regard him as a possible conquest.” The inference is natural. The E doesn’t carry his title around with hin, INTERPRETATION Here he hain’t bin home but six hours an” he's talkin’ in his sleep ‘bout *Stackin’ chip: A YEAR OF BLOOD. S THERE a nation that isn’t at war or doesn't contemplate war? There is an epidemic of thirst for blood that is filling half the world with graves. Even the salvationists have caught it, and the peace societies are liable to come to blows with one another any day. THE GRAMMAR OVER THERE, HE LATE GEORGE WILLIAM CURTIS talks bad grammar and loose rhetoric in his communications to this world by medium, We should sooner expect it of any other man. If death has such a deplorable effect on good men the time will come when nobody will want to die. PROTECTION. HAT IS THE WORD for the next presidential campaign. The Re- publican caucuses, the county conventions and the state conventions thus far held demonstrate it beyond a doubt. There was prosperity under the McKinley tariff, and there has been disaster ever since it went out. That is the story in its condensed shape. ANOTHER AMBITIOUS BOSS. CALVIN 5. BRICE says he is willing to be the Democratic candidate for president. We believe he has ceased to hail from Ohio, but he is probably a native of some part of his suffering country and therefore eligible. And of the bosses on the other side Mr. Quay and Mr. Platt have declared their intentions and are still in the field—the former in fact and the latter by substitute. THE BLESSING OF INE- BRIETY. M&- MILLIKEN of Washington has been acquitted, after a long trial, of wrong-doing in entering the bedroom of a young lady at night, on the ground that he was intoxicated. It isn’t often that the soul-destroying beverage does a man a favor like that. Logically, the drunker he was the more innocent he must have been; and his imperial jag saved him both money and imprisonnient. DANGER OF A CHANGE OF HEART. A CHURCH SOCIETY in Fairmount, Indiana, is opposing the suit for twenty-five thousand dollars, damages, of a family bereaved of its husband and father, The man died in its edifice of extreme religious excitement, in which the congregation basely assisted him. If the society loses the perils of conversion will, We are afraid, keep a great many sinners and saints away from church for some time. FOR ABIM By gum! but college hain’t spiled LET US HAVE PEACE, 2T US HOPE that the opposing ar- mies of the Booths will not only have different uniforms but different routes and places for religious action. A religious war is the most cruel of all barbarity; and once begun it has the tenacity of a Kentucky feud, which goes from father to son through gen- erations. Happily the Booths, themselves, prefer praying to fighting; but the rank and file can be controlled only by the severest discipline. THE MCKINLEY KIND. THOMAS B. REED will not let his boom be carried into states which have home candidates. Here is a fine delicacy, but there are booms that cannot be controlled in that way. They are a sort of whirlwind and they go from state to state because they even can’t control themselves. They are of the fiery, untamed kind. They are spontaneous, forceful, autocratic, and subject to no law or management. Such booms are not polite, but they cannot be suppressed. CURFEW. EVERAL WESTERN STATES have adopted the curfew law, which calls home all minors unaccompanied by older persons after a certain hour in the evening. Perhaps we are governed too much; but if this law is proper it doesn’t go far enough. The older persons are the ones to be looked after more particularly, and not unfrequently they are the guardians of the night. Call them all in and make the streets as much like a de- serted wilderness as possible. Let us all be so good as to be in a state of perpetual illness. comicbooks.com