Judge — April 11, 1896 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

EMPTY, PRoressor Ray (after a vain search, musingly) THE EASTER BONNET AND THE JOKE, THE Easter Bonnet floated airly into the great editor's office. She was a creature too ethereal for earth, composed of rainbows, violets and roses, The airs of spring nestled in her filmy lace, and on her brow rested such a halo as might have drifted from the moonlight revel of fairies. She was exquisite, ravishing, unspeakable. ‘The great editor gave one look and then respectfully took his feet off the desk, This touching proof of the survival of chivalry in an effete civil- ization was not lost on the Bonnet. She smiled like a seraph. “IL beg pardon,” said the great editor. “1—er—can I do anything for you?" " Certainly,” said the Bonnet with a surprising air of business for such an angelic trifle. “1am very tired of your annual Easter joke at my ex- pense, and I have called to ask you to omit it this year.” “I—ah—er—I am very sorry, I think—the fact is, I always leave that to the Joke.’ “Very well,” said the Bonnet sweetly. Is he in?” Yes," said the great editor with an air of relief,“ Here he is now.” “You are getting positively aged," cried the Bonnet. “Very likely," said the Joke grimly. “1 do not get to change like you. I can guess your errand.” fow shall I break it to him?" Tie, RIGHWAYMAN—"‘Any man that works nights advertisin’ his bizniz fer de almighty dol- lars orter be relieved o' sum o' dem.” "said the Bonnet.“ What do you propose to do about The Joke and the great editor drew to one side, and the Bonnet heard “‘affect the circulation serious! “ Mademoiselle,” said the great editor, “ your charms, your beauty, have so won upon our clientéle that really it is impossible to" — “It’s just this way." said the Joke. “You're a chestnut, but we've got to have you. That isn’t gilt-edged, but it goe The Bonnet pouted. “I have it!" she cried. my rival.” * By Jove! I will,” said the Joke, chuckling. Next morning at church the Bonnet looked as if she had just floated down from paradise. But the Joke winked the other eye and went around the corner to get in the side-door. FIRST DAY AT SCHOOL, Loving mother—" Well, Tommy, dear, what did you learn at school to-day?” Tommy (with an air of disgust)—" Humph! didn’t learn nothin Loving mother—" Didn't learn nothing? What did you do, then?” Tommy—" Didn't do nothin’, A woman wanted to know how to spell cat and I told her—that's all." “Turn an X ray on to KISMET. Merritt—" What do you do with these pretty Easter - eggs after you have them painted 2" Cora—"1 gener- ally break them.” ATURE used to engrave our characters on us; in these days she pho- tographs them. A MUTUAL MISTAKE,