Judge — April 11, 1896 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE CATHODE. “Come. dorgy. you look wuth adver an’ [ want yer fer an X raise ‘speriment. A TALE OF EASTER DAY. MBS: SCHEMEK HORN insisted that her husband should go to church with her on Easter. The husband is a late riser on Sunday and the plan abridged his breakfast. ‘They had his favorite wafiles for last course that morning. He was eross to be cut off from them. As they were hurrying across town his wife said, * Everybody's suit looks better than mine. You shdn’t allow me half enough for it.” Mr. Schemerhorn was. think- ing of the waffles. “1 didn’t su pose you went to church on to show off your clothes,” he snap- ped. “| supposed it was the twelve commandments or -or—some sort Wine — of religion you were after. Anyway Mothies you're all right. But just look at Witte — A FORECAST O age “Why. they're nice, Harmon.” “Nice? Yes, for a tramp. “ And those are awfully stylis glove: That fellow cheated me on ‘those gloves. Look at the way they bulge out over the knuckles—they are regular ham-bags. But I'm no woman. 1 don’t care how I look. Oh, here we are! Why, we're early. You might have let me finish those waffles and not hurt you any. “1 don’t know about being ear- ly, See what a crowd is going in. Oh, Harmon! your undercoat hangs down a teenty bit below your over- coat. You don’t mind, do you?" “Oh, of course not. There isn’t a place on earth where I'd rather look like a fool than right here in this dressed-up crowd.” “Do try to act pleasant, Har- mon; there’s George Whitbeck over there. I don’t want him to think 1 would have done better to marry UTURE, Sugzested bo the report of a Centrat-park monkey's talent fer drawing. Arrival of cheap labor from Africa to take the place of magazine and newspaper artists — these trousers that butcher of a lor‘s made me! They wouldn't fit anything but a doughnut.” “I thought you said folks ought to go to church for ‘religion,’ and not to show off their clothes. Well, what of it? I'm sure I don’t want to show off these duds that I've got on. Did you ever see such tough shoes on a gentleman before ?” —and the artists go to Africa to en A MAPPY MEDIUM, him, Smile a litle and look happy.” “TL feel just like laughing all over to think of showing off this funny business in the back before your old beaux.” * Only one beau, dear. Never mind; I'll keep close behind you go- ing up the aisle, so nobody ‘ll notice. Here, just follow this usher.”* “You keep off my heel: “ But remember the coat. * How on earth do you suppose I could forget it?—but you just keep off my heel Coming out of church after the service, Mrs. Schemerhorn said, “Wasn't it grand—the flowers and music and everything ?” Mr. Schemerhorn was rubbing down his new silk hat, “That old maid in the seat behind us kept putting her feet in my hat,” he grumbled. His wife nudged him. “There's George Whitbeck again ; look pleas- ant.” The cars were all so crowded near the church that the Schemer- horns walked home. Before they arrived the husband's morning fast told on him savagely. When they opened the front door one of the children called out, “Cook left word that dinner would be an hour late to-day, mass is so long on Easter. And oh, say. papa! Johnny's been playing church, with all your clean shirts on for surplices.”” * Hear him now,” the wife broke in, “sing- ing his little Easter carols! How sweet !" Mr. Schemerhorn started for the stairs. * You just wait till | join in that carol,” he roared Mrs. Schemerhorn closed the door behind . “Tdon't believe Vil take my husband to church next Easter,” she sighed. “Some way he doesn’t seem to get into the spirit of the day.” ige in the cocoanut business, Atlantic ¢ Location No, M contain ¢: Mrs. V dren Teet The si For fo Champag delicious E te So ex comicbooks.com