Judge — April 4, 1896 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

W. J. Ament. “Bexwwano Giias 1. M. Geacory, Sditer. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNTTRD STATES AND CANADA IM ADVANCE. One copy, one vear. or s2 numbers - $5.0¢ One copy. six months, or 26 numbers - 2.56 sh One copy. for thirteen weeks = e- Inclading the Cuxistmas Juoce. REIGN SUBSCELPTIONS—To all forcien countrics im the postal union, $0.00 year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JuDGr BUILDING). Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. WR We guarantee advertisers a larger circulati cal paper published. than any other American sattri- Ry and Jupce’s Quanranty are all for sale at Brentane's, rite Smith, Ainaiee & Couas New lephanstraste (7 NOTICE TO PURLISHERS.—The contents of Juve are protected by copy- ‘caght in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this coovright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. THE BOOM of McKinley is automatic; it whistles itselt. HE STORIES of Stephen Crane are so good that one can forgive some of his poetry. THE APRIL FOOL sayeth nothing in his heart, but his vocal explo- sives shake the block he lives on. HERE IS A BRICK in Mr. Platt’s love for Morton that will presently shock the old gentleman's pulled leg. RS. LEASE says Jerry Simpson is a barking cur and a worm. She had better be careful. Even the cur will turn. THE SILVER MEN propose mis- chief in both the great parties. They ought to have courage enough to go to blazes in their own conveyance. +4] LOVE MADNESS?" is a ques- tion recently agitated in. the newspapers. Depends, we take it, on the question which chap gets the girl. THEY THINK in Schenectady that the question is, not whether to move Union college to Albany, but whether to move the legisiature to Schenectady. *e(OUNT THE L C millions th: magazines. EAVES of the forest” is an expression indicating will presently apply to the pages of the new cheap THE GOVERN) of Hawaii kindly pardons the ex-queen of the islands, but omits information regarding the conti ation of her pri- vate property. A MEMBER of the house who snored the other day was immediately awakened; but in the senate they let the silver men make speeches four weeks long QE OF THE PURPOSES of whipping the rebels thirty years ago s to make us one people with one destiny. Walker thinks the purpose failed. wa Commander-in-chief SLOAT FASSETT is laboring very hard to have Morton nominated for president. We see how it is, He means to spite, shock and surprise Piatt by accomplishing his apparent object. THE VERY YOUNG MEN in some schools who are trailing the Span- ish flag in the mud and burning little Alfonso in effigy will presently grow up to learn the value of dignity, and will then be ashamed of their early foolishness. It is better to let the children of Spain monopolize that kind of idiocy, and really they understand it better than anybody else. NO QUARTER. Mrs. MOLONY (after the “' circus")—"'Av Mary Ilen O'Brien iver agin alludes t' ¢his as moy * betther half’ Oi'll welt her in th’ mout’.” MEANNESS OF THE PEACE-PREACHERS. HALE AND HOAR find so many things against this country, the won- der is that it didn’t die of fire and brimstone long ago; and mean- while there is no suffering in Cuba because of a yearning for independence and fair play, and Spain is an abused and barbarously-treated angel. AN APRIL IDYL. THE ABLEST LIAR is the one who says the new light has produced a photograph of a man’s thoughts. The man was thinking of an angel infant, and lo! the infant appeared on the plate. That man should have the brightness and beauty of a continual April, and every twenty-four hours of it should be its opening day. WOMEN IN COLLEGES, THE AUTHORITIES of Oxford university have resolved to give no woman a degree. This tyranny of the male educational managers will find its retribution in the coming college which will give no degree to a mere man, Many women have carried off the prizes in various other universities, and it is not unreasonable to suspect the males not only of littleness but of a great fright. SPEECH IS GOLDEN. MUCH OF THE STRENGTH of Brother Reed lies in his caustic tongue. He used to say sharp things every day, and good-natured ones twice as often. His policy now is not only to do nothing, but to say nothing. And it won't pay, The peo ple expect courage of the Republican party and its leaders, and a few golden sentences by Brother Reed will win him more friends than might swim to him in an-ocean of silence. THE MORTON ENTHUSIAS\ THE EARNESTNESS with which Morton's claims are presented in some other states is evidence of a gen- erosity in politics that has heretofore been unsuspected. One convention lost half its delegates, whose affection for the governor obliged them to organize all alone by themselves. As we know that Morton gives no money to these ardent men, he must have made a re- markable impression on them by his “public services.”* ROOM FOR ALL. THERE IS A GREAT FIELD for the Ballington Booths among the workers of this country. They need salvation as much as anybody: but the majority of the churches, notwith- standing their sympathy and brother- liness, are too high-toned for their money and their method of dress. The old commander can gather them in more effectively perhaps than any other man. and this is the mission that will enable him to do good without fight- ing with or doing harm to any other organization. MR. WHITNEY’S RETIRING WAYS. MB: WHITNEY is called upon by the Troy Press to get himself elected governor, that he may be eligible for the national nomination in 1900. It is urged by the Press that Mr. Whitney has never been elected to any- thing by the people, and that he must show a few scars at their hands before he can hope for the greater honors. ‘There is some sense in that; but the truth happens to be that Mr. Whitney is so afraid of the danger and the scars, to begin with, that his only ambition is to get the rocks and mountains to hide him from the Democratic view, That is his ambition now, and there are no facts or figures that are likely to change it. THE BLIGHT OF CONQUEST. THE BANKRUPT GOVERNMENT of Italy tried colonization and invited war as a means to recuperate its treasury, and as a result has met with such extreme disaster as to endanger its own safety. These ex- periments are as numerous as they are costly, Louis Napoleon lost his throne in an effort to recover his lost popularity and make his son his successor, and France and England have succeeded beyond their proper jurisdiction only at the sacrifice of thousands of lives and millions of money. It isn’t a bad idea that governments ought to attend at times merely to their own business. After all, lives are worth something. comicbooks.co