Judge — February 29, 1896 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

M. Gui PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year. of $2 numbers - $5.00 One copy: siz months. or 26 aumbers - 2.50 One copy. for thirteen weeks - 135 Tnclading the Cuxtsrmas Jun FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To alt foreiem countries in the postal union, $0.00 year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JupGr ButLpINc). Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. GP We guarantee advertisers a larger circulation than any other American satirie cal paper published. Tae Junce, Jvoe any and Juocn's Quarranty are all for sale at Brentane's, SAvenne delpera, Pars: Smith, Ainsice & Con2s Newcastle itreet, Strand, Londen : The International News Co. Bream Building. Chancery Lane, B.C. mo bach's News Excchance, i 7 tional News 18 Leipuic, German) ‘Switeerland Cable nddress tephanstresse (97 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS. —The contents of Juoce are protected by copy- ‘ght in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted, [* MUST be insisted that the ocean greyhounds shall keep off the grass. THE PEOPLE are wedded to honest money, but the senate declares a divorce. [F BROTHER ALLISON doesn't look out he'll be so conspicuous as to lose his chances as a dark horse. FINANCIAL NOTE—The friends of Governor Morton are very active throughout the south and west. REE SILVER in the senate is an evi- dence of senatorial deterioration which ‘obs Tillman of half his notoriety. ME: PLATT wants to be president aft- er the manner of Grover Cleveland's going to war—wholly by substitute. THE MAIN RESULT of the delibera- tions over Dunraven is that the New York Herald ought to be ashamed to print the news. WE CAN ACCOUNT for the present period of crime in this city in only one way. The scoundrels must have hooked the police. THE CONVERSION of Colonel Inger- soll is not visible to the eye, but he may have it wrapped up and concealed in one of his vest-pockets. THE PRIVILEGE of changing the mind is of great value, because in numerous cases the person who does it necessarily gets a better one. papa. A stock. eee HEN A NEW LIGHT shows the motives of men we shall look upon one another with shocked surprise, and then turn around and run away from ourselves. ¢eTHE MAN under thirty-five years never converses,” says a Chicago lady; “he only talks.” A great deal, let us remark as gently as possible, depends on the listener. WE HOPE to know some day whether Cuba belongs to Spain, Eng- land, the United States, or Cuba. ‘Yo which power she ought to belong. if not to herself, is a question that has long been settled, and jus- tice and fair play are anxious to ratify the settlement. HE PEOPLE of this country may be trusted to take care of their own. Thirty years ago they saved the nation’s life, and the other day they saved its credit. It is not necessary to go abroad for help in any financial emergency. They will take care of that. Their money and their lives are ready for their government on call. ated ‘ A BUSINESS ANSWER. krY—" T vant you to hellup me owit on dis oxample, erchand blaces fife tousand tollars insurance on his He owes forty-six hundert tollars fer goots und has sixteen tollars und a halluf gredit in der bank Conn (thought/ully)—" Vatching, mein sohn.”” NOT NECESSARILY FINAL. R. HARRISON doubtless means what he’ says when he says he won't have the nomination, but if the convention were to present it to him he would doubtless take it. It must be remembered, moreover, that Mrs. Dimmick may have her ambitions. As we have suggested, the friends of the ex-president will do well to consult her. BLOOD AND MONEY. F THE VALUE of life were to be considered Spain would have given up Cuba before this. The kind of Spanish blood that is shed is drawn, however, from poverty and the prison, and is therefore of small account. But poverty of the government is a different thing, and if Cuba has nothing to be taxed she may get her liberty because Spain is too poor to buy her slavery. A MATRIMONIAL PUZZLE. WOMAN brings suit for alimony against her first husband while liv- ing with her third husband. There is nothing so absurd that it isn’t possible to the law; but we should think the inconsistency of this situation would strike the claimant so forcibly, notwithstanding the legal density of her sex. that she would withdraw the suit to have time and opportunity to laugh herself to death, THE DEADLY PARALLEL. THE EDITOR of the Evening Post said he had been pointing out for months that England was powerless with regard to Armenia. Then he said that, as every- body knew, England was on the point of armed intervention in behalf of the Ar- menians when Mr. Cleveland sent his Venezuelan message to cong The information of the gentleman is vast, but some of it is quite superfluous. CRIMINAL DELAY. T MIGHT be well for the senate and the house to get together somehow in order to do some necessary law-making. The house presents bread and the senate turns it into stone and returns it for rati- fication. Therefore the people get noth- ing and time passes, The same kind of blundering that sent the Democrats out of power ought to be called crime on the part of the present majorities ; but the sen- ate is particularly unfortunate in the fact that it is largely composed of lunatics, THE FIRMNESS with which women stick to the tall theatre-hat suggests nerve. It may not be said that they are ing, or selfish, or indifferent. It means nerve. A man who insisted on wearing his hat in such places would be in- tensely disagreeable, and the police would take care of him; but there is a respect for the nerve of woman that may be a devel- opment following her assertion of her own rights, It causes the most shocking profanity, but her nerve won't permit her to think of that, Vat's he vorth?" TWO STINGS. HE STING OF POVERTY, according to the Troy Press, is the more penetrating in the cases of Reed and Mc governor entered the presidential arena, because “the hirelings and camp- followers take to boodle candidates as against brainy candidates as ducks do to a mill-pond.” The governor is not to be blamed for his wealth; but he suffers from a sting, too. If, for instance, the wealth were not his would he be governor now and would not his ambition to be president be ridiculous ? THE IMPENDING RECONSTRUCTION. HERE 1S TALK of nominating Miss Reed, superintendent of public instruction of Wyoming, for governor of that state; and there is also talk of nominating the daughter of the present governor of the state to the same office. ‘The right to vote certainly involves the right to hold office. When we have women governors there will be great promise of a woman president. From that outlook the jokes of the funny persons as to the woman doing the politics and the man the housekeeping become serious to the point of melancholy. ley since a millionaire