Judge — February 29, 1896 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The ness is JUDGMENTS. outside PAST—Who are you? No | Present — What are Cook's you? the bes Future — Where are The you? < portuni Night and proximity ish are matrimony’s sworn allies. ns Young man, don’t help your girl over the first half of a fence. Get some real good friend to introduce you to yourself about once in(’ seven years, You change, you know. M0. PREPARING TO CELEBRAT Rooster —"*Are you going to celebrate Wash- ington’s birthday ? Hen—"" Yes ; I shall sit on an egg and hatchet,” 1, TWO OF A KIND. ‘The charming maid Pretends to wade, And uses all her arts, But not into the sea she wades — ‘She wades into our hearts. A VISITANT. TIEY tell us romances are things of the past, ‘That the present ‘s a practical time ; ‘That love at first sight is not truly polite, ‘That reason is better than rhyme. And yet there's a spell that is holding me fast, A sentiment strange that I feel, For my thoughts will not stray since I noticed, one day. An auburn-haired girl on a wheel. HER FIRST IMPRESSION. HE old family cat awoke from a nap before the fire and stretched himself in the manner common to cats. Margie looked at him with distended eyes. “My doodness !” she exclaimed; “I dess ze tat’s doin’ t’ boil over.” THE Like a comet she passed me and hurried away, A vision entrancingly rare ; The poet's bright star that he worshiped afar Was a creature less distant and fair. And still, while I plod as a toiler each day There is joy in the hope which I feel ‘That my orbit obscure one more glimpse may assure Of the auburn-haired girl on the wheel, KNEW ALL ABOUT IT. Mistress (first: day)— “ Bridget, can you make a good thock-turtle soup?” Bridget — Sure 1 can, mum." PHILANDRK JOMNSON, - 5 . be | eR \ Mistress —“ Well, I'm going to market | ow NOT IN HIS CASE. 2. TWO OF A KIND. now. What shall I get you for it?” cht Nodd—" Doesn't that cough bother you ‘The season now Bridget (a little flushed and perplexed) — enor ; shen yOUC IN Has come, alas! “Fi +a bit ip an’ more at night? They say when you lie down . Jist a carrot, mum, an’ a bit av a turnip an’ « it’s always worse.” Ch ormer news sad pasty eke onion an’ a very small piece av mock turtle, tb Todd —" You forget that I have a baby.” She wades into our pocket-books. mum, @ (SARC STEM, PAWEL A Bick Stoce oFF "onkel Puenoes one ta Vaenes: CHeweRy THE BITER BIT. Weary Wracctes — Isaacsresn (suspicious Tow much on dat 2" “Vere did you ged id?” ; i P ak Weary Wracoues—-"'Sh! T'stoled ie fram a pawnbroker.” __ISaacstein (ten minutes later) —"* Vell, I'm tam if dot vasn't mine own nao ice a ee T cGnder who dot Si&0- Dot Roosevelt pedder ged himselluf avay dem side doors from, und gif fool pawnbroker vas? I bed you dot vas old Gol He pedder ged honest beebles some boleece brodegshun. oud ohf der peeshness. I gif you fifdy cends on id. comicbooks.