Judge — February 22, 1896 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

126 NO OFFENSE MEANT. HIS happened in the early days of British Columbia, when the luxuries of life, brought at great expense from England. rarely penetrated into the inte- rior. A member of the bar in Victoria had occasion to go to San Francisco, His room-mate on the steamer southward was a large mine-owner from the up- per Caribou country. On the first morning after departure Mr. L- unpleasant shock. He was awakened by the early de- scent of his room-mate from the upper bunk and kept awake by the noisy evolutions incident to a toilet ina storm at sea. When he was able to keep both eyes open without blinking he was horrified to perceive that the gentleman from Caribou was making free use of his personal belongings. He had placidly taken Mr. L—'s brushes from his toilet-case and was applying them in the way the brush-manufacturers had presup- posed they should be used, but hardly in a manner to bring joy into the heart of the lawyer from Victoria. He refrained from injunction, however, remembering that mine-owners are clients to a prosperous extent. He lay in his bunk in a condition of volca received an Mr. L— had a spasm. “ Hold on there!" he choked; “ that’s mine. “Oh, I beg your pardon,” said the mine-owner, contritely, “I thought it belonged to the boat.” c helplessness, while the Carihou centleman. helped himself to the lawyer's nail-brush, whisk and, with naive enjoyment, to his mani- cure articles, Finally he reached over and pulled out the tooth-brush from its bottle. age EXCEPTIONAL DEMEANOR. HE night [asked her if she'd be my wife he answered yes, without a start or sigh ; No rosy blush suffused her dainty cheek She neither had hysterics nor a cry ; Nor did she draw a deep and sudden breath. Her bosom did not heave with quick surprise ; Likewise her long. dark lashes failed to droop To hide the timid love within her eyes. Ab, no; she did not act the heroine Who 's pictured in the romance of to-day— The night I asked her i# she'd be mv wife In our production of a parlor-plav WILL Garman, RICHARD III. UP TO DATE, RICHARD THE THIRD (of the future) — "A wheel, a wheel ; my kingdom for a wheel !” JUDGMENTS FROM MR. MCGARVEY. [1°S jin his fait that th’ hustler has br-rains It’s th’ wur-rld that’s often coldest in th’ warmest places. It's th’ bist day av a felly's loife that niver comes at all. It’s some min thot waste half their loives gittin’ riddy t° waste th’ other half, It’s th’ har-rd toime th’ babies do have wid th’ wind in their taith all th’ toime. It's a felly’s hid that wud bust if he hadn't another ear t’ lit out what goes in at th’ other. It’s th’ long lane thot. do have no tur-rnin’ th’ smart fellies y- Arrah! but it’s some av th’ long lanes thot do be built loike arace-tr-rack. pavio w, TaLaapce. MADGE ROBERTSON. A CASE FOR THE INSPECTORS. Languorous Lafferty (wearily) —" | wisht I wuz like a letter, Grimy. Den Ic’u'd paste a two-cent stamp on me coat an’ be sent anyw'eres widout all dis trouble ‘f a-walkin Grimy Gazaway —""F you did dat wid all dem holes in yer clo’es sum ‘f dem post- offis fellers wud git in trubble shore, on ‘spicion ‘f tearin’ open de ‘nvellup.”” AN ICV CONCILIATION. Miss Roston was very frigi 1 to Mr. Chappie at first, but he finally managed to break the ice, and then they got along swimmingly. THE BOTANIST’S CONFESSION. [VE studied all the botanies, I've learned their dry monotonies, I've reveled in their scientific rot ; My infant love for flora Celastrus is too twiney, Was remarked by all who bore a The utrica is too piney ; Kindly interest in my likings and my lot. Crucifera is the ugliest flower that grows. ‘The tropical anemone Is pungent and it's lemony ; I cannot bear michella near my nose; But in spite of all my training The salix babylonica (There's no virtue in my feigning), Will do for ware Japonica, I'm afraid my reputation 's doomed to fall; ‘The red vebascum palls upon the eye ; For my tastes are most alarming, Linaria and lilium, T find common flowerlets charming, a and trillinm And I do not like the cultured ones at all. ‘They're namby-pamby, delicate and shy. The asclepius cornuti 1s pronounced the biggest beau Though I really think its blossom rather bum ; For the flower to which I'm wedded Is the frowsy, yellow-headed, Crinkly-whiskered, bully, big chrysanthemum. Fost WHEELER, A HARD TRAINING, “ Have you had any experience in collecting ?” hould say I had. 1 used to be a country minister.” Head of firm Applicant— Add tw tara Bitter drink. ‘The test the capture —Rocheste As a sp troubles o and for mi BOKER'S The lea bills like a Atlantic C Location 1 Exc and ite! cal Rep “itl and suy ing."—