Judge — February 15, 1896 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

UNIMPORTANT. Se THERE goes Mrs. Spouter, the fa- mous woman orator.” “Who is that litle man with her?” “Tam not sure, but I think it is her husband.” NO REMNANTS. seAH, life RETRIBUTION, FARMER Jones (om to Bobby)—"'1'll jest reach over suddint-like an’ haul thet pesky cub up an’ whale ‘im.” AN OVERSIGHT. 6] WAS never more surprised in my life,” said the English no- bleman, “than I was at my reception in America. Nobody paid the slightest attention to me.” “Well,” replied his compatriot, “that’s what you get for not traveling incognito.” z Bony (om to Farmer Jones, voci ferously)—“ Gid-ay VALENTINE OF NATURE. THE sty is io love with the river below, That ripples a song on his way, To those blue eyes above that look down their trust, ‘Through the length of the livelong day. ‘The sky sends a valentine down to the stream, Which he holds to his heart for rest ; Her own picture, painted in glorious hues, With some sun-blooms on her breast. EDITH LIVINGSTON CHARY. DISMISSED WITH A WORD. oe DAvie” asked Edith, “ what are the seeds in grapes for?” “Humph!”" said Davie, who assumes great wisdom before his little sister; “I guess you never heard of pendikeetis, did you?” is made up of fragments.” “Yes; and death is one long peace.” IDENTIFIED. Jit. Raccs— “* Yer've foun’ sumpin’, porty 7” MESSENGER-BoY—"* Vep ; a silver ring.” Ju Races — "It's lucky 1 had me name cut i i Bo (incredulously) —"* Your Wot's your name?” Jant Races (chuckling) —" Sterling, me name? son. Boy (sorrowfully) —"* It's yours, boss. Wot \uck !" NO CAUSE, Smither —“\ hear that Sizzletop and Buzzfuzz had a big fight when they were out cycling yester- day.” Rinktums—" Why. I don’t sce what they had to fight over. They both ride the same make of wheel.” Finale. A SMALL AFFAIR, Bigger— Glad to see you back from your European trip, Dunnigan, I suppose you visited all the principal cities of the old world?” KNEW WHAT HE WANTED. ENGLIsH cusromeR—" Me good fellah, let me look at some of your English running-shoes.”” CLERK" You mean English walking-shoes, do you not? Customer—" No, me good fellah. | me brother in Venezuela.” I want ‘em for Contractor Dunnigan (with pride)—" Indade Oi did. Oj saw Dublin, Rome, Tipperary, Paris, Cork, Vinice, an’ th’ whole bilin’ av thim.”” Bigger—" Did you see the famous bridge of sighs in Ven- ice?" Contractor Dunnigan—*Oi did; an’ ‘tis av no great soize ut all. Ye cud put tin av thim on th’ Brooklyn bridge.” A SAD CASE. Mrs. Newrich— Yes, it's really distressful about my son Arthur. Ever since we came home from London he has been copying English manners and dress until I declare he has be- come quite a kleptomaniac.” Ikey—"* Is honesty der best bolicy. fader?” Hockstgin—"' Id is very goot, mine son; bud id ain’d in id mit der fire-insurance bolicy.”