Judge — February 15, 1896 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ape W.J.Anxeti. Beexwann Gitta. TM. Gercons, Biter PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNFTRD STATRS AND CANADA IN ADVANCE One copy, one vear. or s2 numbers - $5.00 One covy. six months, or 26 numbers - 2.50 ~ One.copy: for thirteen weeks ~ 135 2 Including the Cumistaias Juoce FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all forcien countries im the postal union, $0.00 year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupce BuILpiNc). Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. KB We guarantee advertisers a larger circulation than any other American satiri- cat paper pub = ” in's Lineary and Juncr’s Quanrenty are all for sale ts Smith, Ainsiee & Co.,25 Newcastle itreet. St ind ry C ‘ &. Alioth, Geneva, Switserland. £97 NOTICE TO PURLISHERS.—The contents of Junce are protected by copy. ‘nght in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. THE FACT that Don Cameron wants to be president shows what a dreadfully free country this is. THE BEST POLITICS—Another congress of all the Americas with the object in view of mutual protection. T CANNOT be said that the Canadians love Uncle Sam, but, anyhow, they needn't kick him down stairs. W HAT DUNRAVEN charged was that Ise- lin wouldn't give him a new ocean, and we think he prov- ed it. see HASN'T IT occurred to you that the lion likes to have his tail twisted? Othe erwise why doesn’t he keep it out of the way? eee Alt THE LADIES who heard Guilbert on a re- cent Sunday could not under- stand French, but, alas! not one of them was deaf. Deacon Kr Mxs. Kerc bicycle-face an’ gai eee THE FLYING FLEET of Great Britain apparently has but one purpose—to get as far away from the butchered Christians of Armenia as possible. “Dis ama ntoe society. udder kin’ ob a face wud be better.” RECENT FIGHT between two Tennessee judges is a shocking re- flection on the kind of law they seem to have omitted down that way. ON. THE WHOLE, the Monroe doctrine is all right. Indeed, 1 believe Mr. Monroe meant it to apply especially to South Africa —Sadésbury. THE QUARREL of President Eliot of Harvard and Miss Anthony divulges the fact that the lady knows how to bite, no matter what the kind of teeth she has to do it with. [ N SELECTING Chicago for their convention the Democrats had a nar- row escape from the villainous patfonage of Tammany hall; and yet Tammany was the only Democratic stronghold in the last elections. THERE IS too much bragging about New H, said recently that it was worse than sheol, and now Evangelist M says it is the wickedest city in the World. The idea of a little snip of a place like that trying to beat Chicago! . peace CHILDREN to rush growlers so as to convict men of sell- ing beer,” says our Mr. Roosevelt. The result is to make them .and perhaps drunkards. It ought never to be. It is like handling filth with lace handkerchiefs and kid gloves. en. A clergyman's wi sneal EVERYTHING TO GAIN. 1a —"* Lan’ sakes, ‘Mandy ' whad’s all dis?” suit an’ dis am a bicycle. Deacon Ketcnum — "Goody lawd! yah! yah! RED MEN AS PATRIOTS. TWO INDIANS of Oklahoma territory tender their services to the pres- ident in the arduous work of whipping Great Britain, and suggest that, to begin with; he send them a couple of blankets. Probably five dollars would make them so patriotic that they would go over and whip Canada; and yet people say these savages cannot be civilized. THAT ABSURD RAIMENT. GHOST in bloomers has appeared in San Francisco. Thus they are as progressive in the other world as we are in this. More so, indeed ; for the garment so called must certainly be more appropriate to the dead than the living. You get only fleeting glances of the garments of the de- ” parted, and the less you see of the bloomer the better it looks. THE NEED OF SUCCESS. OVERNOR MORTON bas been honored sufficiently by his state and the country. Is it not selfish in him to stand in the way of abler and younger men who have done better service for their panty and who command an enthusiastic support which it is not in his power to inspire? Fair play, governor! Give a few thoughts to your party and your country, THE FORAKER FIREWORKS. R. FORAKER never knows when he has enough. It is a rather prevalent weakness of human nature, but he has it worse than any- body else. There is something ridiculous in the proposition that, having been made senator, he wants to shove McKinley aside and be the next president; but there is no claim for official honor that he doesn’t cherish as his very own. A DISGRACEFUL PEACE. A TAX of seventy per cent. on the net profits of every newspaper in case of war is proposed by London Truth. The proposition is the result of a wrong theory as to the management and purpose of war. There must be some authority to do the suggesting and the ordering, and if it is killed or impover- ished it can’t get along at all. Under such a method as that of the London paper we should have no war at all, and then what would become of us? V's gwine toe acquire de Dat's all right, honey. Mos’ enny PLATT FOR PRESIDENT. HE. PLAN is, to speak plainly, to make Thomas C. Platt president of the United States. Of course, Mr. Platt could not get the nomina- tion, and if nominated he couldn't be elected; but as Mr. Morton's secre- tary of the treasury he would have most of the honor and all of the hard work. We need not, therefore, consider Mr. Morton's age. really is, whether he is old enough. The question THE AMAZING HORROR. ‘+PJON'T MEDDLE with my murdering,” says the Turk to the Red Cross and to the world, “I have the privilege of assassination, and I will outrage and starve women within my own borders as much as I choose. Your humanity and your generosity are offensive and you must keep off. 1am going to exterminate the dogs of Christians and you must let me alone.” All the Christian world outside of the Turkish dominions bow to this decree. There is only one exception—the woman Clara Barton. THESE CONTINENTS. SOME ONE said of a stingy agriculturist, “If he had the whole world for a farm he wouldn't be satisfied without a patch outside to plant potatoes in.” We hope the majority of this congress are not going to carry the Monroe doctrine as far as that. It might be well to do so through another pan-continental congress, according to the Blaine idea; but this government must bear in mind the sovereignty of its southern neighbors as well as its own. Let them have a hand in the game and let them have their share of a grave responsibility. comicbooks.com