Judge — February 8, 1896 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

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(97 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copy- right in both the United States and Great Britain, Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. CAMPOS IS LUCKY to be out of the Spanish death. see : [7 1S EVIDENT that the favorite son of lowa is Allison. MB: PULITZER thinks he would be a better man in Mr, Carlisle's place. J, PIERPONT was a good-enough Morgan till the people got ready to take the bonds. HE DEVIL is out of it. The question now is, why doesn’t God kill the sultan of Turkey? ‘T MAY be said for Foraker that he is not a total st to represent. Ti WILL be no duel between Dun- en and Iselin, The world is large, but Dunraven wants more space. ger to the state he is going cee R ral THE BEST ANSWER to Herr Ahlwardt was the Hebrew fair in this town. His silence seems to indicate that he hasn't sur- vived it. [TIS FOOLISHNESS in the English press to call the kaiser a puppy. His grand- mother on his mother's side regards it as A VICARIOUS ATONEMENT. N CHINA it is possible to buy a man to officiate as the victim at your own execution. Senator Murphy has bought a Mr. McGough to act in that capacity in behalf of a Mr. Bat Shea, whose murder of Robert Ross is established beyond a doubt. STRATEGY. E SUSPECT that Mr. Platt sprung the snap-convention idea with the purpose of having Morton exhibit a little something that loosed like anti-Platt backbone. For, curiously enough, the governor's chances are better the more it is indicated that he is in opposition to the man who invented him, DEAR OLD FELLOW! ORD SALISBURY is amiable, after all. He didn’t mean anything by that Venezuela business, and he thinks war between the two great English-speaking nations would be a great crime. He always was a peace-lover, Salisbury was. But we must thank the kaiser for that proc- lamation of his Christian opinion. UP-TO-DATE VERSE-MAKING, ‘THE POEM of Alfred Austin on the whipping of the English in South Africa is not bad as a whole; but the last verse, cabled here, was of itself so miserable that a boy of twelve ought to have died of shame if he had written it. And we do hope that Alfred will not feel called upon to write poems on current events, as if he were a paid poet of the daily news- Paper. THE TOO-DECORATED HOME. REND ANNA SHAW tions to over- decorated homes with delight. Dear lady, hast ever gone into one of those homes at two in the morning—no light, and no match- ¢s within five miles? There have been times when, under those circumstances, the home has become very much undecorated within five minutes. Oh. let us have less of this profusion of fragile ornament! BY THE WRONG PROPHET. CHAIRMAN HINKLEY of the Demo. cratic committee of this state thinks the Republicans will nominate Allison for presi- dent and Fish for governor, and will send Morton to the senate at Washington. Mr. Hinkley reminds one of the farmer with a balky team who was always calling attention to his neighbor's stock. Perhaps he doesn’t predict for his own side because there is no material to work with. THE PASSING OF MR. HILL. LOOK UPON the declaration of his most unfortunate, NERAL ALGER says he won't take the second place on the Republican na- THE TOBOGGANING FUROR STRIKES BLACKVILLE. Mrs. Jonnson—"* Lawdy, Lawdy! whad nex"? dem orn'ry chilluns ain't dun gone chopped off mah rock- in'-cheer back fo’ one ob dem toebogginins I" Ef objection to society and women at Washington as an indirect retirement of Sen- ator Hill from the presidential situation. It means that he would rather be wrong than tional ticket. Presently that place will have to be abolished. Everybody hates it. oo. A YOUNG MAN is in the insane-asylum at Bloomington, Illinois, for declaring that Chicago is the new Jerusalem. One has to be very careful what he says about Chicago, these days. woe POLICEMEN are apt to grow fat, and therefore the Brooklyn Eagle wants them to wear corsets. We know of a better remedy than How would it be to have them exercise while on duty? HE POPULISTS want to run Lyman Trumbull for president. He is cighty-two and this is the era for old men, We do hope, however, that the Democrats won't run the ghost of Andrew Jackson. oe Not ONE AMERICAN in ten, the Rochester Herald," would vote to take Canada as a gift.” The Herald was mighty careful not to say that till Uncle Sam had pulled his Christmas stocking down, that, IT saw a headless man. What did the man say ? Nothing. His bead was gone And he couldn't tale; All was Silence And bleeding Sunset! STEPHEN CRANE is accredited with that. The first four lines indi- cate that Stephen has begun to write his autobiography. be president. Presently women will vote, and the senator would not antagonize them if he wanted the chief office. He is too shrewd for that; and, like Senator Conkling, he will get out of politics and go to work to get rich. HUMANITY, ONE IS NEVER so patriotic as when he reflects that somebody else is going to do his fighting for him. It is sweet to let the other chap die for your country. But the sober second thought teaches humanity, and it becomes a popular idea that it is better to oblige nobody to die at all. The blood of the fighter has faded out of the universal sky; and the voice of humanity everywhere is for the dismemberment of ‘Turkey as the only method of establishing justice and peace. OUR OWN WILLIAM. The man who's sick at sea, at him I do deride ; But woman is a tender flower and delicate inside. ‘THIS TENDER VERSE is by William H. McElroy, editor of the Roch- ester Post Express, who is hereby nominated as poet: laureate of our beloved country. We don’t believe anybody else could have so ably ex- pressed, in the same space, the chivalric idea, and as well the natural expectation of repressive manliness on the part of man, in cases of sick ness on board of a throbbing, heaving ship. We don’t know what Alfred Austin means by “the crushings of all the Rand,” but Mr. McElroy's verse is crushier than his is, any day in the week. comichooks.