Judge — February 8, 1896 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

04 Sudge WEARD DURING THE FRESHET. The crane, who was wading in the water to take the rheumatism out of his legs, remarked to the river, “TL hope you are well, but your face looks swollen.” re," said the river; ‘I have not been out of my bed in six months. ** Do not let me detain you if you were about to rise,” said the crane, ‘Thank you,” said the river, ‘1 am better, though not up to the mark—high-water mark.” ‘In for a little sport, eh,” laughed the crane; ‘going to try to break the bank, eh?” “Cert,” said the river, ‘but I see you are ready for high water.” ** As how,” asked the crane. . “Set up on piles ;" and the river chuckled. “That's fair,” said the crane, ** but I shall put in a long bill for damages all the same.” And he wandered up stream, looking for another sucker, ALT. WORDEN. JUDGMENTS. OSSIP is the social mos- quito. People, like cats, need only to be stroked in: the right direction. FLASHING THEIR FIRE IN THE PAN. ‘A woman may Coxjuror Barns (during an ominous lull) : —"T thank you heartily for your kind loans of be a mystery to a hats, coin, rings, ete., in my preceding feats, but man and to herself, specially request that in the next — my great egg but never to an- trick —the audience will kindly forbear passing Ghee wouka any eggs over to me, even in a legitimate man- ner, as I prefer in this illusion to use my own We should be eggs.” bl med only for de- A PRACTICAL ILLUSTRATION. ETCHUM (Before the hunt)—* Now, chile, jes’ listin toe yo' dad. Allus carry yo’ gun at half-cock, an’ hold it so. — liberate faults, and praised only for overcoming difficulties. Anything, however small, becomes beautiful when it is touched with the gentle grace of giving. MYRTLE REED, DIDN’T UNDERSTAND THE GAME. THE very small boy was experimenting with Sunday-school. It THEN—NOW. E USED to come with cheery voice, His laughter made them all rejoice. But does he now? Well, may be! In anxious accents speaks he low, He comes with softest, faint tiptoe, For,** Hush, you'll wake the baby!" With head erect he'd loud decree Ilis “castle” each man's home should be. But does he now? Well, may be! He's stopped proclaiming for a while, To listen with a wan, sad smile To," Hush, you'll wake the baby!" Now tell me if you think it's right. Have you not pity for his plight ? Or indignation, m But answer me in whispers low, Tell me in quiet accents, slow, toe — like dis, an’— For,"" Hush, you'll wake the baby!" y be? PARENT AND OFFSPRING. Mamma —* What are you playing with, Essie?” Essie —* A caterpillar an’ two little kittenpillars.” R Pouak near —* Well, say} vou needn't be so stuck up, simply because you've got a Seal-skin coat.” —Fo' ef yo' carry yo’ guu at tull-cock, an’ hold it so, yo's liable to stub yo" was his first day, and his father had given him a penny to put, not in the slot but on the plate, The penny was taken by the teacher, but there were no ex- planations, so the small boy in- quired," Which do I get, gum or chocolate ?” OLD TABLE MANNERS. HE had recently landed. The first day in her new place her mistress inquired if she knew about waiting on the table. She replied, “ The family where I lived before did their own reaching.” IT JARRED UPON HER. S¢D)ON'T you think, mam- ma,” asked Edith, point- ing to the crying baby, “ that he's a little out of tune to-day?” ‘shoot somebody !” Billin High. _ At invest Press Mr: dren 1 gums, rhea, comicbooks.com