Judge — February 1, 1896 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN. ** A lady in skirts, Mr. Mushly, never knows half the de- i i —™M ! how hard the ice is this winter!” lights of skating — lercy AN OPTICAL DELUSION. SO YVHATSS the matter with your eye, Mr. Garvey?” “Oi got a cinder in ut.” “ What are you doing for it?” “Oi'm lettin’ ut gic well. Oi had the cinder exthracted boi an oye- dintist.” HIS FAVORITE. Weary Raggles — Ever read any of Howells’s stories ?” Wandering Willie— Naw, Never heard tell of him afore.” Weary Raggles—“ Why, he’s the great novelist of all time. His hero is always a feller what does nuthin’.”* HYGIENE, Major Lusher (to his host for the night) —* Beaut'ful shleep'n’ ‘part- ment (hic) m’ boy. But why’s th’ room so confounded large ?” Colonel Jagby (with dignity)—" Thash hygienic prine‘ple ‘f thish (hic) room, sir.” F Major Lusher—"* Whash that ?” A NEC Colonel Jagby Th’ health princ’ple, ole feller; when I come home (hic) full an’ fall down I don’ hit th’ wall. Le’s go t’ bed.” IN THE WEST. PROSPECTIVE PURCHASER (as cyclone passes) —** Where'd them cabbages REAL-ESTATE. AGENT—"" Yes, the air here is rare an’ rich.” come from?” REAL-ESTATE A air an’ they've took root an’ growed I" ARY EXPLANATION. Waccrs—"T hopes youse'll ‘xcuse dese fine clothes, gents ; my old ones jest dropped offin me an’ dese is all 1 could swipe.” JUDGMENTS FROM MR. MCGARVEY. ]F YEZ have no push yez'll git no pull. Many a poor beggin’ divil makes money. + A felly niver knows what wur-rk is till he gits out av a job. It’s foolishness t’ lay awake noights fur fear yez’ll git insomny. Sometoimes it wud be a great convanience if th’ sun wudo't sit till afther dar-rk It's th’ pat'nt: midicine advhertoisemints thot makes a felly sick whin nothin’s th’ matther wid him. Oi'm gittin’ old an’ thick- headed. Moi son Willie don’t shpit any more since he wint ' school; he exshpectorates, an’ yez can call me a goat if i kin till th’ diffrunce, DAVID M. TALMADGE. ENT—"' Oh, some feller 's jest throwed some seed in the ‘ i comicbooks:.com;